New Model Needed (Brilliant Skit)


If the ABC was Relevant (Part 44) (a John Clarke, Bryan Dawes skit).

(The  Customer)

[Scene: A car yard. BRYAN is perusing the stock.  He is approached by  JOHN]

John:  Morning! Looking for a new car?

Bryan:  Nope. Prime Minister, actually.

John:  You’re the third one this morning. Anything in  mind?

Bryan: You  know…….. nothing fancy, reliable, economical family model.  Something to get the country from A to B.

John: You  mean like a Howard?

Bryan:  Yeah….a little Johnny. Nothing flash, does the job. Low  maintenance, economical, sensible. Runs for years, no  troubles.

John:  So…. you used to have one?

Bryan:  Yeah. About 10 years. Great little model – don’t know why I got rid  of him – biggest mistake I’ve ever  made ….

John: What  happened?

Bryan:  Traded him in for a Kevin 07.

John: Big  mistake…

Bryan: Lot  of people bought it. Good political mileage.

John: How  was the Kevin 07?

Bryan:  Came with a $900 factory rebate – that was  good.

John:  Anything else?

Bryan: Not  much. Sounded nice but nothing under the bonnet. It was a  lemon.

John:  Didn’t stick around for long did it?

Bryan: Nah  – had a factory recall. Shipped overseas and was never seen  again.

John: What  was the problem?

Bryan:  Lots. But the final straw was the navigation system. Plug it in and it automatically loses its own way.

John:  Whatcha got now?

Bryan:  It’s a Gillard-Brown.

John: The  hybrid?

Bryan:  Yeah. The Eco-drive system – not a good idea. An engine that can’t deliver hooked up to a transmission stuck in permanent  reverse…

John:  Green paintwork with a red interior. And steering that always  lurches to the left for no apparent reason – that’s the  one?

Bryan: The Fustercluck model.

John: The only one they made, Bryan.  Not the vehicle of choice for the road to  recovery – but did they finish up fixing the navigation system?

Bryan:  Made it worse.  Turn it on and it does a press release, heads off in  all directions and goes nowhere.

John: So that’s why you’re here?

Bryan:  That’s right. I’m stuck with a government that’s wasteful,  expensive, ineffective and past its use by date.  I don’t suppose  you’ve heard of the “Cash for Clunkers” scheme?

John: Join  the queue brother.

Costello on Carbon Tax and National Income


For the first time that I can remember, an Australian government is introducing a policy – the carbon tax – which is consciously designed to cut national income rather than boost it.

Sometimes I think that this government needs a responsible adult – someone who can walk into the cabinet much like a parent would walk into a child’s bedroom and say: ”Enough is enough. It is time to clean up the mess. And there will be no more nonsense until that is done.”

– Peter Costello

See the rest of this  including the AWU rubbish Paul Howe manages to dish out.

Gillard inching closer to Najib Razak


Julia Gillard‘s telephone call to John Hartigan to spike a story by Glen Milne of The Australian, brings her government ever closer to the style of the UMNO Government. Both face certain doom and are living on borrowed time.

See this piece.

The point of the story was her judgment of people around her. Her involvement with Bruce Wilson, someone convicted of embezzlement of union funds, ought to speak volumes of her ongoing support for Craig Thomson. Thomson’s position as one of the 76 (together with the monkeys aka independents) no doubt is the bigger dimension here but the bottom line is her judgment.

Julia Gillard has as the sort of baggage Najib Razak is probably familiar with. Scorpenes submarine and Altantuya Shaaribuu are of much darker varieties to taint Najib Razak but Bruce Wilson and Craig Thomson, with their union rubbish, smell almost as bad.

Certainly, calling newspaper editors to control what the public reads, is a stench no Australian Prime Minister should share with a Malaysian regime.

Glenn Milne’s Piece The Australian Withdrew


This was the piece The Australian withdrew, because it was apparently untrue:

THE real import of the alleged brothel creeping scandal surrounding Craig Thomson has been missed. And it is this: key factions and unions within the Labor movement are now openly indifferent to the fate of either Julia Gillard or the federal government. They simply don’t care any more.

Gillard has now lost all authority within the broader Labor movement. By their actions in the Thomson saga they have signalled a judgment that she cannot win the next election. Settling internal scores and power struggles is therefore now more important than whatever happens to a lame-duck PM who can’t haul her primary voting numbers out of the pathetically fatal mid 20s.

The Mafia-style dirt-covered shovel — code for digging your own grave — dumped on Friday at 3.30am on the doorstop of Kathy Jackson, the union official who had the courage to refer Thomson’s activities to the police, may as well have been delivered to the Lodge. For Gillard it is now that bad. She is simply regarded as collateral damage and large sections in the Labor movement are uninterested about whether she’s terminally wounded or not as they go about their internal bloodletting. It is about to get worse as elements of the Australian Workers’ Union seek to settle up with Thomson’s accusers by demonstrating that Gillard herself was implicated, albeit unknowingly, in a major union fraud of her own before she entered parliament.

On Friday, Michael Smith of 2UE contacted me to check the veracity of material in a statutory declaration drawn up by Bob Kernohan, the former president of the AWU, and dealing with the relationship between Gillard and Bruce Wilson, which I outline below.

On Saturday, Herald Sun and Daily Telegraph columnist Andrew Bolt wrote on his blog: “On Monday, I’m tipping, a witness with a statutory declaration will come forward and implicate Julia Gillard directly in another scandal involving the misuse of union funds. Gillard herself is not accused of any misbehaviour at all. I do not make that claim, and do not hold that belief. But her judgment — and that of at least one of her ministers — will come under severe question. She will seem compromised. It could be the last straw for Gillard’s leadership.”

Big call. But I do have a good deal of knowledge regarding Bolt’s claims. On Sunday November 11, 2007, just days before the November 24 election I interviewed Gillard, then deputy leader of the opposition, in my capacity as political editor for News Limited‘s Sunday newspapers. The interview concerned the embezzlement of union funds — not disputed — and later the subject of a court conviction by a former boyfriend of Gillard, Bruce Wilson. I had researched the piece for months. It was the most heavily lawyered article I have ever been involved in writing. The story said that as a solicitor acting on instructions, she set up an association later used by her lover to defraud the AWU. But she has strenuously denied ever knowing what the association’s bank accounts were used for.

Gillard, then in her early 30s, was a lawyer with Melbourne-based Labor firm Slater & Gordon. At the time of the fraud she acted for the AWU. She met Wilson, then the West Australian AWU secretary, while representing the union in the Industrial Relations Commission. Wilson later moved to Melbourne to become Victorian secretary of the union.

“These matters happened between 12 and 15 years ago,” Gillard told me. “I was young and naive. I was in a relationship, which I ended, and obviously it was all very distressing. I am by no means the first person to find out that someone close turns out to be different to what you had believed them to be. It’s an ordinary human error.

“I was obviously hurt, when I was later falsely accused publicly of wrongdoing. I didn’t do anything wrong and to have false allegations in the media was distressing.”

What the lawyers would not allow to be reported was the fact that Gillard shared a home in Fitzroy bought by Wilson using the embezzled funds. There is or was no suggestion Gillard knew about the origin of the money. We now await the issue to which Bolt refers.

If it comes, and if it is powerful as Bolt suggests, it will be further evidence that the Victorian Right represented by the AWU is involved in a life and death struggle with the Right as represented by the Hospital Services Union. Thomson was a senior official of the HSU for 20 years before entering parliament via the seat of Dobell.

The HSU split several years ago into two factions. Thomson was supported by Jeff Jackson, Kathy Jackson’s former husband. This so-called old guard was the support base for Victorian right-wing power boss, David Feeney. Feeney is now looking for a parliamentary seat because Gillard’s abysmal numbers have made his third Senate spot vulnerable.

A defeat for the old guard by way of a successful prosecution of Thomson by police, would leave Feeney powerless and without a base or a seat.

Jackson himself has been accused of using union money on escorts with enemies of the Victorian HSU boss releasing bank statements showing payments to the same Sydney brothel where federal MP Thomson’s credit card was allegedly used. Jackson has denied the claims. Ultimately at issue here could be the succession to Gillard, and I’ll explain why.

When Kathy Jackson called in the wallopers, the stakes were high. Because a federal defeat for Thomson and his allies would enhance the power base of Victoria’s two other factional king makers, Bill Shorten and Stephen Conroy who are both aligned with the new guard in the HSU. And we all know what Shorten’s ultimate ambition is.

What a tangled web we weave especially when you consider Thomson is married to Zoe Arnold, a former Transport Workers Union official and adviser to former NSW Health Minister Reba Meagher. Alex Williamson, daughter of HSU national president Mike Williamson, is an adviser to Gillard. And, of course, as mentioned, Kathy Jackson, who blew the whistle on Thomson, was married to former Victorian state HSU secretary Jeff Jackson.

Truly the NSW Disease has arrived in Canberra.

Meanwhile amid all this interbred internecine manoeuvring Gillard attempts to adopt the high ground, attacking shadow attorney-general George Brandis for intervening in the course of justice. On Thursday morning Gillard attacked Brandis for speaking to NSW Police Minister Michael Gallacher at a time when the allegations against Thomson were being assessed by NSW Police. Unfortunately she got her facts wrong because the NSW police only announced they were conducting an assessment four days after Brandis spoke to Gallacher and in fact only got Brandis’s dossier three days after he spoke to Gallacher.

A small point but one that indicates the pressure is beginning to show on Gillard as she desperately searches for points of deflection. During the same press conference she also vainly tried to defend Thomson’s decision not to make a statement to the parliament on the facts. We all know why; if he lies he’s finished as an MP and Gillard is washed up as Prime Minister. Gillard and Thomson are shackled together just as surely as two First Fleet convicts.

Oh, and here’s a small postscript on which to end. On September 7 at the Wyong Christian School at 2pm there will be the opening of a new hall built with funds from Gillard’s time overseeing the Building the Education Revolution. Thomson is scheduled to attend as the local member. My gut instinct is that both he and the Prime Minister will be otherwise engaged.

Gillard Labor Minority Government … Ever So UMNOesque


If the allegations are true, Craig Thomson would be very much at home in Malaysia. Unfortunately I have in my past life, been in situations and circumstances which landed me in places I didn’t really want to be. Senior politicians of the ruling parties would often be found in these places, accompanied by unsavoury business identities who almost certainly paid for whatever services sought or were made available.

The difference now of course is that Craig Thomson was apparently alone when he allowed his pecadilloes to go untamed. What’s worse, if the allegations are true, he stands to be charged for misappropriating funds. He sounds like a really tragic man. He could however, be the saviour of Australia at this point in time.

He appears to be a politican close to the likes of Mark Arbib and Karl Bitar – those pollies who somehow managed to build reputations of themselves as oily manipulative men who wouldn’t baulk at doing questionable deeds. If one takes a straw poll, those two men would probably be among the most mistrusted characters in the country. That they were the ones who brokered the deal within NSW Labor to avoid banruptcy for Craig Thomson and the catastrophic consequences that would bring for Julia Gillard and her government would only further tar this present government. One would have thought that would be hard to do but there you go.

I think with each passing week, the Julia Gillard minority Labor Government inches ever closer to the status of the UMNO Government of Malaysia, which is saying something. The convoy of no confidence wasn’t in Canberra today – it has circled all over Australia for months now. For the umpteenth time, bring on the elections – please….

Malaysia On Hold – High Court asked to review


What Chris Bowen and Julia Gillard refused to consider, will now be looked at by the High Court of Australia. The Malaysian Solution for the asylum seeker issue was never a satisfactory one, principally because Malaysia treats refugees and asylum seekers badly and Malaysia has a poor human rights record generally. Maybe in selecting a partnership with Malaysia, Australia is betraying its true colours in matters of human rights and it has always only paid lip service on such matters.

Following is an extract from The Australian today:

Mr Manne made it clear that Malaysia’s human rights record, and particularly its treatment of refugees, would be put on trial.

“Amongst the claims that are being made among many of those that we are acting for are that they in fact would face the real risk of being persecuted in Malaysia due to the human rights situation there,” he said.

“Malaysia has a long standing record of very serious mistreatment of asylum-seekers and refugees including, as we know, arbitrary arrest, arbitrary detention, beatings, whippings, canings and even deportation. A number of our clients have made very strong claims of fearing that they would not be protected in Malaysia.”

BERSIH and Carbon Tax


9 July has come and gone. Tress and I were with close to a thousand others at the Federation Square on Saturday afternoon, for a rally to demand some electoral reforms in Malaysia. We went with Brian, a good mate of mine who in turn introduced us to another bloke, who was also a lot of fun. The BERSIH rally in Melbourne was no where near as eventful as the KL version, but the KL folks showed the BN government it needs to take a serious look at itself or it is going to be sitting at the opposition side of the house come the next election. At the very least, BERSIH 2.0 has stripped BN off whatever claim to legitimacy it has left. Najib Razak can barely stand with any credibility and he has his mob has come out of this looking really rubbish. Well done BERSIH, well done, Ambiga.

On the domestic front, Bob Brown, Christine Milne and their mob have flexed their muscles and Julia Gillard continues to look worse by the day. All the compensatory aspects of the scheme may sit well for now for a group of voters but how will employment and foreign investment be affected over time? I don’t think Julia Gillard will be able to make the sale to the people in that regard. I think for most Australians, compensation is only a small part of it. What we want is assurance that jobs and investments and growths of these will not be adversely impacted, especially given the minimal impact the carbon tax will have on climate change.

Mod-Com – Cause of Hypocrisy?


The problem of disconnect between what we know is the right thing to do, and actually doing the right thing and living a life that reflects that knowledge, is a perennial one. We all struggle with it, down from the trivia minutiae such as having that sausage roll for breakfast instead of my oat and muesli cereal, to living our lives in acknowledgment of the true boss – God himself.

For too long, we have allowed the otherwise (often) neutral nature of the finer things in life, to sprout red horns, grow a red tail and reach out for that long fork. Look at the below article – Dominique Strauss-Kahn knew what was right and was in a position to influence the world to push his very just cause. Perhaps in his case it was immoral and illegal response to his lust which triggered his downfall, and not his love for money or what it can bring.

With the other examples of this article however, the finger can rest easily on the mod-com’s of this life as the cause of their betrayal. If we focus on and extol the virtues of finer things in life and the way it makes our life easier, richer and more comfortable we can lose sense of what is right in the wider perspective of things.  Why drive a small cheap Korean import when you can drive a huge, expensive and luxurious German machine? Never mind that all the extra resources expended to produce and own this luxury are actually wasted in the sense that it is hard to see how they advance the cause of humanity – it exudes beauty, elegance and harmony… and all that.

It is true of course that beauty and pleasures are good things and they can give us glimpses of heaven but to what extent do we pursue them? At what cost?

***

(from Herald Sun site, Andrew Bolt’s blog pages)

THERE are great moral causes, and then there are the men who rush to lead them. Take Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

He is a socialist. In fact, he’s such a socialist that he was tipped only a fortnight ago to become France’s next president, as the Socialist Party’s candidate.

Socialism, I’m told, is the cause you sign up for if you want to take from the rich and give and give again to the poor. If you want to stop the workers from being exploited by the powerful. If you hate racists and really worry about asylum seekers.

So how does Strauss-Kahn end up being charged in New York with the rape of a maid who’d come to the US as an asylum seeker?

And while he pleads not guilty to the rape, how does this prominent socialist explain the scene of the alleged crime in his room at a $3000-a-night hotel?

Still, at least he believes now in giving away his tax-free salary of $420,000, since he this week resigned as head of the International Monetary Fund.

That a socialist could find himself on this salary, in that room, charged with the rape of such a woman will surprise no one, in a way. We’ve lost that moral sense or expectation of having actions matched to words, lifestyle to cause.

Nowhere do we see this more clearly than in the global warming crusade — the first religious movement led entirely by shameless hypocrites.

Only this week came yet another example, with the Herald Sun reporting that just two of the Gillard Government‘s Cabinet ministers drive fuel-efficient hybrid cars, despite wanting to foist on the rest of us a ruinous plan to cut our emissions.

Even Prime Minister Julia Gillard and Climate Change Minister Greg Combet prefer gas guzzlers.

But so habituated are we now to sanctimonious spin that I doubt this shocked a single Australian.

We’re forced to swallow far worse almost daily. There’s Climate Commissioner Tim Flannery, boasting he’d written his latest book almost entirely on gassy aeroplanes.

There’s global warming alarmist Al Gore crying shame at mankind’s terrible environmental footprint from a desk in one of his five homes.

There’s actor Jeremy Irons announcing he’s become a green campaigner who wants us to live less decadently, although he himself owns seven houses and a castle painted pink.

It’s such a bizarre disconnect. True, the popes of the 15th and 16th centuries could be scandalously corrupt, with a mistress in every Vatican bed. But at least most tried to hide it, demonstrating that hypocrisy is indeed the homage vice pays to virtue.

Now we rarely demand even a pretence.

Take Sir Richard Brazen, the Virgin entrepreneur, who preached global warming to students at Gold Coast’s Bond University — and then choppered out in his private helicopter.

Or take Strauss-Kahn, the socialist. Please.

Gillard and Bowen dealing with Ogres and Thieves from Malaysia


The deal being negotiated between Australia and Malaysia to process asylum seekers, is of considerable current interest. Last night we caught parts of the SBS Dateline program, with a story titled “Welcome to Malaysia”.

It really brought back very interesting memories.

For a start, we are reminded of how bloody minded ordinary Malaysians entrusted with a little bit of authority, can turn out to be. RELA officers decked out in military styled uniform are given free rein to terrorise ordinary man on the street. They’d pound on the door of citizens in the middle of the night, demanding to see your passport. They’d make you squat on walkways before hauling truckloads back to their headquarters for a long night of abuse.

In my past life, I have sat in the office of a police chief and hear him say to his subordinates “let them die”, referring to suspects being rounded up for anything you can imagine. Anyone who is an easy target – drug addicts, petty criminals and illegal immigrants – are easy game to these officers, be they police of militia personnel like RELA thugs. They’d detain, extort, abuse and exert their puny warden mentality to its full extent.

The drug addicts, petty criminals and illegal immigrants are not human beings in the eyes of these twerps. To these cowards and bullies, the drug addicts, petty criminals and illegal immigrants are vermin with money to steal from. If they are female, sexual crimes commonly follow. I have seen RELA personnel rounding these people up like they are herds of cattle.

Theresa recoiled when scenes of food being served came up. The illegal immigrants, squatting in the barb wired compounds, are served dirty rice and slivers of meats caked with grime, on trays which have never been washed. A detainee held up a tray to the camera and scraped off filthy grime and said the food was foul and stank.

The man tasked with looking after the illegal immigrant issue knew absolutely nothing. He looked and sounded exactly like your typical UMNO idiot who managed to become a deputy minister because those who appointed him are equally stupid. People like them abuse the ordinary people, steal from them, caused the most horrendous hardship on so many without batting an eyelid and then go to the mosque to pray and complain about opposition politicians committing sexual indiscretions.

The story on SBS Dateline certainly brought back memories, and reminded me why we left Malaysia. What that program showed was only a tip of the iceberg and it affected not just the less fortunate people. The mentality, attitude and value system of the powers that be cause unfortunate effect which was different to what the program showed, only in its degree and intensity. Why on earth is Julia Gillard and Chris Bowen even talking to this mob?

View the program here: http://www.sbs.com.au/dateline/story/about/id/601146/n/Welcome-to-Malaysia

If Will Steffen is right, will $100 a tonne cut it?


Will Steffen heads up the Climate Commission. He – the Commission – has issued a report demanding urgent action to deal with the human caused climate change. Or else – sea level would rise and we’d all have to live like Kevin Costner in water world.

Julia Gillard has pointed to the report and sort of said – I told you so. But if that were the case, and given the urgency to bring emission down straight away or else, the carbon price she touted – $20 a tonne – would be like introducing Norhafiz Zamani into the Birmingham City attack to solve the Blues’ woes in front of goal. It would be toothless, a complete waste of time and may well be counter-productive. [I confess I have just only googled the current Malaysian football team striker. I also confess this is the first time in God knows how long I took an interest in NEP infected football in Malaysia]

To be responding to Will Steffen’s Climate Commission doomsday report, the carbon tax should be so prohibitive – say $100 a tonne just like the Greens said – to be of any effect unless of course, Julia is lying again.

If Julia Gillard could not be trusted and lied in saying there would be no carbon tax under a government she leads, why would we trust her to keep carbon tax to $20 a tonne, especially if she endorses the Will Steffen Climate Commission – we must act now or perish – report? The Greens are looking at a minimum of $100 per tonne and they will want to include petrol in their target. If Will Steffen and his Climate Commission report is to be taken seriously that is the bare minimum step. But that would send most of us back to the caves, wouldn’t it?