You have arrived at your destination (?)


A note from my MD, following a meeting earlier in the day.

It looks like Pronto will be my last stop…

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Wither tipping point


I spoke with my boss yesterday arvo. He was ashened-faced for a few seconds but I went on talking about what my thoughts were. He then suggested a meeting this morning with the MD. So here I am now, waiting for that meeting – my boss, his “boss” (the MD), and the HR head. I don’t know what to make of it. I’m still equivocating. Still seeking.

(Closer to) Crunch Time


Jacob famously wrestled with God. Tim Keller has a terrific podcast talk on that, which I may need to revisit. Actually it wasn’t so much a podcast talk as it was a sermon delivered in his NY City church, but I listened to it in a podcast, many months ago now.

The past week and a bit has certainly felt like a wrestle of sorts. Nowhere near the level of Jacob’s well known wrestle that’s for sure, but it did keep me more or less immersed and I’ve been feeling spent.

I just spoke to AR a short while ago. He rang again to check in, and said the written offer from MCRI should come in sometime today. I need to map out a plan to speak with a few people, once that offer is to hand.


Last Friday night, Tress and I caught up with Jason and Mel at a newish bistro in Vermont. It’s only a very short trek for us so when Jason messaged to say they’d be late, it didn’t bother us. The MCRI matter had been in my head anyway, so I was distracted from our usual Friday night soiree. We talked – a lot about MCRI and my thoughts about it, but also about our coming summer plans. It’s always good to catch up with them,

On Saturday, we walked the little fellow, then we went grocery shopping. Tress’ cousin’s wife was coming for lunch and we had planned on doing a barbie. Back home later, I tidied up the gardens and Tress did some vacuuming. We finished just before 1pm, got cleaned up, and Tress picked up YS from the tram stop near Burwood One. I cooked, we ate, and chatted about work, family, the world cup soccer that’s going on now, and cricket (!). A bit after 4pm, Tress dropped her off at the tram stop again and I cleaned up the barbie grills. It had been a sunny and very warm day so we took the boys out to the oval again, just a bit after 5pm, as the cricket had ended early.

Sunday was going to be even warmer. We got up just on 6am, but not because of the warm weather. Australia was playing the mighty Argentina for a place in the quarter finals and everyone’s been pumped. Australia played hard and well, was well organised, but ultimately lost, mainly on account of Messi’s genius. After the game, I walked the little fellow before heading off to St Alf’s. Peter was starting a new series – on 1 Peter.

Late on Sunday arvo, we had a “Doggy Christmas Party” at the oval. Folks just brought nibbles and drinks and we sat around with our furry friends, to soak in the late summer arvo warmth as we sipped our drinks and fussed over our dogs. For just over an hour, MCRI was nowhere near my mind and I (and all who were there) felt relaxed. It was very pleasant.

Later that night, we had a chat with Kiddo and Mic, who were on the way home after their church service. They both provided some very positive points and they sounded far more focused on the salient issues. I guess they could be more objective than yours truly for obvious reasons. They sounded far wiser than I.

To state the obvious, I had been praying about this for weeks now. I am none the wiser, which was why I had reached out to different folks to seek advice/counsel. I am still none the wiser but at least the guide rails for a decision are in place for me now. I hope.

Remembering


My late father passed on 16 years ago.

10 years ago, when I thought of him, I had this post on social media:

I wish we talked more

Maybe about politics

And count every MCA flaw

I wish we talked more

I wish I rang more

To talk of grandpa’s antics

Or about grandma’s guffaws

I wish I rang more

I wish I visited more

Especially when you were sick

Or when you were sore

I wish I visited more

I could wish no more

Talk, ring, visit or anything at all

I only wanted to talk more…

Life… Journeying On


Tress and I went to Flavours of Mekong on Friday night, for our TGIF meal. Francis, the owner/operator, was gracious and engaging as usual. We struck up a casual conversation with a family at the next table, who has a young son doing Year 8 and looks the happiest child. Strangely, he loves fish so we recommended our favourite, the barramundi assam. We also had the beef rendang and some fishcakes. As always however, we packed away the unfinished food so that we’d have a couple of meals that we’d throw into the freezer for whenever.

We have been watching/bingeing on the Yellowstone series for a couple of weeks now, and that was what we did again when we got home from our TGIF dinner. For some reason, I didn’t end up getting a good sleep so Sat morning I was a bit twitchy.

We teed up a catch up with Ruth and Jonathan, Tress did some quick vacuuming and I quickly swept the driveway and car ports, as well as refill the bird seed dish, which them promptly saw the return of those beautiful Eastern Rosellas. The recent wet weather has kept them away and I hadn’t been filling that dish with their food too, as anything I put in would be quickly washed away.

Sunday at St Alf’s it was end of year thanksgiving and sharing morning. We were asked to huddle into small groups to share our thanksgivings – I said I was grateful and thankful, that we’re sort of back to normal now, being able to meet and see each other in person. I was also thankful that Kiddo and Mic would be parents in March next year.

Later as people walked up to share what they’d been thankful for, it showed again, that we all have our journeys that we walk through. Often, God is there without us knowing.

Ruth, Jon and Micah showed up later that arvo and it was wonderful to catch up again. Micah is a wonderful kid – he’s in Year 1 now and he’s obviously a smart boy. Ruth has been busy with her practice as a Geriatrician in the Kyneton area and Jon has been busy with the home, Micah and his car projects. They had been travelling and will travel again in a few weeks, when they’d join the rest of the clan in Klang and beyond, for the family reunion event up at Frasers’ Hill. I had thought about going for my first one this year, but now, I’m just excited about being in Canberra from mid-March next year, to share in Kiddo and Mic’s wonderful journey receiving the arrival of Little A.

Red Pill Decision


The weather continues to be pretty ordinary. The forecast for the weekend was that it would be wet and cold. This, about 10 days out from summer.

There was a dry window from around 9am Sat so we seized that opportunity to tidy up the outsides – trimmed the huge James Sterling on the eastern side, mowed the lawns and swept up the pavement and driveway. At about 12.30pm, we headed to the Chase and did some grocery shopping and had a quick lunch. Tress had a LinC AGM at 2pm, and I was headed for Box Hill for a St Alf’s Men’s Group talk by Jeremiah Paul, a former Pakistani muslim who is now an ordained minister in Dandenong North. Some 50+ men turned up at the backyard of the Hamers’ home. The rains held out for the most part but it was blowy and a touch cold right through.

I got home a bit after 4pm. We walked the little guys and then headed out to Caulfield/Malvern East to catch up with YC. YC is an old friend from Klang and she has been coming to Melbourne to be with her kids who had come out here for uni. The younger one, has had some challenges in his course. We listened to her talk about his journey, chatted and caught up generally, in a modest Korean restaurant near Carnegie station. After dinner we sat outside a cafe in the shopping center to catch up some more. It had been raining and when it stopped for a bit we took a walk to the shopping center as our car was parked there. We also bought some donuts from a famous donut shop (Daniel’s) for YC and her “kids”. As we chatted on, a little boy of maybe 8 or 9, came up to us and started talking in Mandarin that is thickly coated in a Shanghainese accent. We struggled to understand what he was saying. YC, who had a primary school Chinese education, had to slow him down. His mum was just at the table next to ours and they looked like they had just come in from the rain.

That little boy and his mum had just arrived in Melbourne 2 months earlier. He’s enrolled in a primary school in Malvern East and she’s here to be with him. They spoke next to no English and it must be a real struggle for them. The mum went into the Woolies supermarket and the boy stayed with us and kept talking. He sounded like a precocious and smart kid, and even aired some dirty laundry about his dad having another family on the side. He must have had some weird ideas (that bordered on misogyny) drummed into him, probably by his dad. Amazingly, when we asked his name, his name was remarkably close to mine. My Chinese name is Teh Thian Hwa, and only the Hwa is different to that little boy’s. It felt like I was talking to my “little brother”. We eventually left, dropped YC back at her home in Malvern East, and headed home.

It was raining heavily as we drove home and I said to Tress even though we were only 20-25 minutes from home, it felt like we were somewhere we hadn’t been and the rain made it feel like we were returning from trip of sorts. Our routine has been within a 5-10km radius. That is how settled our lives have become. In turn, that is what makes the Murdoch Children Research Institute escapade feel like such a red pill proposition.

The next morning, as I took the little Padawan for a walk, I felt a bit under the weather. I sneezed constantly and the sniffles kept up and refused to go away. Tress and I were on communion duty but I decided to text Rene who was to conduct the service that morning, and said I wouldn’t be able to proceed. I stayed home while Tress went to St Alf’s. That allowed me to rest a little and I felt a bit better again. The rest of the day returned to the familiar.

We had had a wonderful catch up with A Hooi/U Marloney and Jason/Mel on Friday night too. We hadn’t caught up with then together as a group, for a little while now so that was a bit special. For most of the weekend however, I was thinking about Jeremiah Paul, my “little brother” and MCRI. All involved sharp inflexion points. Like the Red Pill.

Can you help…


I just noted the date of this entry – it was exactly a month ago now.

I went for a first round interview a few weeks ago, and about a week ago. I was told they were going for an internal candidate. I felt a great sense of relief, as that meant I didn’t have to make the decision of going or staying. That decision had been made for me. I thought that was the answer to my/our prayers. I had also confided in an old friend who rang me a few days later, to “advise” me to not proceed. He thought I’d be better off staying where I am. So to be told I’d not proceed with second round interviews was like a burden lifted from my shoulders, personal disappointment notwithstanding.

A few days ago however, AR rang me again. He said the COO had really liked me and had wanted me to go to the second round of interviews. A member of the panel (in the first interview) however, thought I was a bit too introverted for the role. The COO wasn’t too keen with the internal candidate and had asked if I could be included in a second round interview.

So here I am, back where I was about 3 weeks ago. Back in the frame. Back to the dilemma I had written about in that entry.

If you’re reading this and you have some thoughts or advice, please feel free to comment or contact me. I’d really appreciate hearing from you to have a better handle of how to decide.

Always tired…


We were at the oval with our dogs yesterday arvo, when the group we were with let out yawns one after another. It was a humid day, with La Nina ruling the roost in recent weeks/months. Thankfully, the storm didn’t show up till late so we were able to spend the day out and about.

Those yawns tell us something I guess. Many of us feel tired and I have felt tired for months. Low energy levels appear to be the plague that refuses to go away.

It was St Alf’s 60th anniversary yesterday. The service was terrific. Past vicars and other staff members showed up, and told of their times in St Alf’s together with parts of scriptures that helped them reflect those times. Helen Petering the muso, chose a string of songs that represented their respective eras. They evoked an emotion in me that made me nostalgic and I thought of my days in the Klang Chinese Methodist Church. That church (“KCMC”) has a history of over 120 years and had I continued to live in Klang, I would have been in that church for over 50 years. As it were, we’d been in St Alf’s for just under 10 years and it hasn’t felt like we’d been there that long.

After the service, there was to be a barbie lunch but I told Tress that probably meant snags on white bread and some salad. Tress has never taken to snags but I guess the deal breaker was more down to my low energy levels. I was just tired and making conversations with folks in St Alf’s was going to require an energy level that I wasn’t up to. So we headed off after the service and had lunch at our usual place in Donvale.

The day before, had also threatened to be wet so we didn’t make a lot of plans. We walked the little one in the morning – took advantage of the dry weather – and then just pottered around the house before heading off for lunch and grocery shopping. Later that arvo, Tress had her ethereal pursuits and I spent some time cleaning the front windows and the sliding doors, as well as bits and bobs around the house. I then cooked the boys’ food before walking them again and then putting up my feet for the night.

We had gone to a Thai restaurant on Friday night – the Yaring Thai in Mitcham – which was very good. A hole in the wall sort of place, it served the best Thai food in our neck of the woods. The constant stream of customers nipping in for their takeaways, was testament and affirmation of our thoughts about the place. After dinner, we went home to stumble on the Shawshank Redemption on TV. We hadn’t watched this for years so we sat through it, reliving the brilliant Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman characters. SR always brings a smile to my face. The story about hope and perseverance never tires. Maybe that’s what I need to deal with this always-tired feeling.

Warmer, more “at rest”


It has been very wet in recent months. When we drove up to Canberra recently, the landscape was very lush and green. The shrubs, hedges and lawns in our home have also shown rigorous growth. The James Sterling has been growing like they’ve been on the juice. They’ve grown a lot and the foliage has been thick and lush. All this meant I couldn’t put off a full on hedge trimming (and related) job for too long. Thankfully, it was dry on Saturday so we planned to work on the garden to tidy things up.

The boys too, had their grooming session booked in on Saturday so they too got clipped and cleaned up, as I worked on the garden. It took me the whole morning, from just after 9am, to well past 1pm but at the end of it all, it all looked far less messy. The James Sterling, at this moment as I work from my study and look out the window, look far neater. It was a worthwhile effort.

We dropped by The Glen for a quick lunch and did some grocery shopping, before returning to walk the boys. I had felt drained by then, as the morning’s work, coupled with a late night on Friday, had seen my “body battery” plunge. We had indulged ourselves on Friday night – having had a really nice dinner out at Enrik’s we came back and binged on a few episodes of “City on a Hill”. Kevin Bacon is very good value and language aside, the story lines, acting and everything else was very enjoyable. I guess the language just comes with the setting – the grotty context of police work in Boston… Anyway, we watched several episodes and only went to bed near midnight, which is about 2-3 hours past our usual bedtime.

So we went to bed early on Sat night, and it felt like summer is well and truly around the corner, at long last. On Sunday, it was an “all age” service in St Alf’s and Ross and Naomi put on a terrific presentation to capture the essence of Hebrews 1 and present it to the younger audience. It was creative without sacrificing the gist of the text, and had really effective application points too. Peter was back from long service leave, and he made the announcement that Mike was leaving so head up another parish. Mike McNamara has been the minister in the service we attend, since we started at St Alf’s so it was a sad piece of news for us personally.

After St Alf’s we headed to a little Malaysian restaurant in Donvale. It is one of our regular local joints and we bumped into some very old friends – people from Klang. Ronald and Cat, and Andrew Hang and Bee Lye, were together and we chatted to catch up just a little bit. Andrew even paid for our meals so it was a very pleasant occasion 😊.

Later that arvo, I did the usual cooks – for the boys as well as for our own lunches. When that was done, we took the boys to the oval. I was decked out in shorts and a polo and the warm day, the cooks, the catch up with old friends – they all add up to make me feel like I’m in familiar territory, which made me feel warm and fuzzy inside as well. Physically tired but at rest, mentally and emotionally.