Category: Personal Thoughts

Celebrating Little Ezra and those before him


 

The trek

We woke early on Friday and our ride arrived promptly at 5.30am. He was a slow and steady driver – the sort that stretches one’s patience. We needed to be at Tullamarine no later than 6.30am and we arrived with just a few minutes to spare. We made our way quickly to the departure gate but somehow, boarding was only about to start so we ended up being the first in line.

On arrival, we looked for a bus into the city and arrived at the Rundle Mall part of Adelaide CBD just before 9am. We found a little café,  and had a coffee and something to eat. We then thought we’d walk to the Holy Trinity church – the oldest church in Adelaide – but instead of walking towards the west we headed towards the east. The address was one of those which could be either one of two ends of North Terrace and we chose the wrong end.

When we realised our error, we headed back and Tress stopped at the St Peter’s college to ask for directions. An elderly couple very kindly pointed out we were at the opposite end of town and said they would take us there in their car as it would be too far for us to walk back there. What kindness…

We got to the church and saw my uncle Stephen just walking outside near the entrance. We sat down, talked a little bit with him and Ruth and Jonathan, and sat down to get ready for the service.

The service

I have known the songs “Jesus loves me, this I know” and “God is so good” since I was a little boy. Until last Friday however, I had never sang these “children’s” songs in the context of a funeral/memorial service. They were simple songs and I had never expected these songs to cause my eyes to well up.

When Jonathan and Ruth spoke, I was able to know little Ezra a little better. He was loved so much and the short 22 days he lived provided a lot of joy to Jonathan and Ruth as well as to others such as my Uncle Stephen and auntie Paddy, his uncle, Caleb and auntie Cariss and the French family.

The video Jonathan made, showed little Ezra – particularly his last days in the paediatric intensive care unit. We had watched it the day before when Jonathan sent it out via email but I still found myself fighting back tears (and failing). The minister – Chris Joliffe – spoke on Jesus’s “calling out” of Lazarus and said Jesus wept too.

It also became obvious to me how strong Jonathan and Ruth were. They attributed this to their relationship with God. They knew God is all knowing and all loving. They know they needed to continue to abide in His Son because this gave meaning and purpose to everything that happens. With God at our side, there is less urge to know why. If He chooses to reveal the reason, that would be nice but it would not affect their faith in and relationship with Him.

The legacy

It is the sort of knowledge, belief and response that is made possible through years of dependence on and obedience to God. That in turn, is made more possible through legacies bequeathed by both sides of the family – a legacy that has truly been “from faith to faith”.

Graeme and Susan have been missionaries for years and indeed, had returned from Hungary prematurely, from where they continue to serve as missionaries. Graeme gave a short message at the service, which showed where Jonathan’s strength came from.

My Uncle Stephen has been serving God for years in different capacities. I have made entries in this blog about his role in my faith during the our years (my brother and I) as boys in Klang. He in turn, has been a beneficiary of the legacy bequeathed by my late grandfather, whose role I have also made entries on.

And so I came away from this experience convinced of the role of the family in providing younger members with tools to build a stronger relationship with and dependence on God.

After the service we went to Jonathan and Ruth’s home, and spent the afternoon just talking to the family, before returning to Melbourne. It was a long day but one that helped us immensely. We hope it helped Ruth and Jonathan go through this period of waiting on and seeking the Lord as they celebrate and remember little Ezra’s brief but joyous and loving life.  

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Kevin Rudd and Anor


Last night while cuddling up with Tress on the couch and watching tv, we caught the news that Kevin Rudd was retiring.

I wanted to recall my thoughts about this complex man, who was prime minister of Australia for the bulk of our time here. We came to Melbourne in 2004, and Rudd became PM in 2007.

I saw this entry in Nov 2007 which I made but also caught this extract in the same entry:

We’ve been having a family (just the wife/mom and their 10 year old boy) with us for about a week and a half now, and last night when we got home, Theresa and I caught up with her to chat about how she has been doing with all the preparatory work. I feel her fear and her concerns and generally, appreciate her disorientation.

There is so much to do.

I’m disappointed with some of her friends, who helped her find their rental property. Against my advice, they committed to the lease without even seeing the property, when they were still in Malaysia. They relied on their friends to inspect the property and committed to the lease on that basis. It turned out that the property is in shambles. It is dirty and parts of the house are dilapidated, with a backdoor even missing a knob/lock. Their friends have not offered to help her with the fixing or cleaning and generally left her to her own defences. They came around and took her out for dinner last Friday but did little else. I’m sure they have their reasons but I feel that having committed her to a property which required so much work they could have at least asked if they could help. I kept asking myself how these friends could have advised this family to apply for a lease for a property like that. As a result, this family has been extremely slow in getting this place ready and despite having the lease approved and keys collected well before they arrived the house is still not ready and they are still squatting with us.

Maybe I’m being unfair. She’s a nice person and the boy is generally well behaved so they have not been bad guests in any way and are welcomed to remain as long as they need to.

On the other hand, I felt she should do more to quickly settle into her own house and prepare to live this new phase of their lives as early as possible. Postponing this would not help her in any way, except maybe save a few dollars. If this was her motivation for not expediting preparation of her house then it is disappointing and she is being near sighted.

Would I do the same for this family again today? At a drop of a hat. Would I feel the same way thereafter as I do today? As the drop of a hat.

I guess I’m simpler than Kevin Rudd.

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Work… Value…?


We’ve been chasing a client for payment for a few months now. Over a million dollars’ worth of development work has been expended to make their system compliant with a suite of legislative changes. Also, their service agreement is way overdue and they have not committed to a renewal.

So some 3 months ago, my big boss wanted a memo on options. I worked on it, discussed with my boss and submitted it. The big boss discussed options identified with other big bosses and we then drafted a letter seeking payment or meeting. My draft was kicked around and the relationship manager tried all sorts of tricks to keep the letter at bay.

The relationship manager is based in another state, as is that client. They maintain close contact and for a substantial debt that is undocumented in terms of potential dispute, the lack of formal communications was not desirable.

After tossing back and forth for 2-3 months, last week we settled on a letter. The commercial manager was a bit caught up in a cross fire between legal and client relationship management and in seeking not to rock the boat, acceded to the latter’s demands for a softer letter than we at legal would have preferred.

Sadly, the signatory – one that sits near the very top of the echelon – signed both versions of the letter. The dilemma of which version to be sent out (the instructions were that the letter had to be sent by such and such a date) was compounded by a raft of emails circulating amongst that commercial manager, her boss who was on study leave, my boss who had a million other matters on his plate, and that client relationship manager.

I know my boss would have wanted me to stick my head in and hold my own. I did. I said legal had always wanted the first version. That the signatory signed a second version meant an executive decision was taken to allow a second, softer version to go out.

I knew, from the moment that commercial manager came to me late on Friday last week, that this was going to swill with no value-add. I wasn’t going to take another drink from this chalice. If the top man was going to sign a second version of a letter legal had recommended, a decision had been taken to allow something other than the legally recommended version to be sent. Decision taken, move on. And yet, the signal which came back was that the fact of a second letter having been signed did not mean the first version could not still be the one to go out. So why was a second version signed? Who would decide which version is to go out? Isn’t that decision sealed by the signatory ie a second version could go out without batting an eye lid because much labour had gone into the first version anyway?

I understand now why this place has such a high turnover of staff, not least in the legal department. But…I’m here to do my job during the stipulated days and hours. So I will do so… and leave all such dramas to those who like to be part of such things…

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The first certainty


A friend was relating to us yesterday, the sad story of his co-worker being terminally sick. It must be such a confronting matter to deal with. I cannot imagine what a person does, when confronted with the reality of an impending death – and one that is near. If there is luxury of time to absorb the initial shock before emerging to make the most of what time remains, it would indeed be a triumph of sorts, given the circumstances. Absent such luxury, how does one work out priorities and action at this time?

I guess that dilemma, pressing and focused as it is, is simply a microcosm of life generally. 6 months is a lifetime for some. That lifetime is 70, 80 or 90 years for others. Or if you live in a place like Ikarian or Okinawa (I think), perhaps 100. Whatever the number, it is finite. The end comes – sooner or later. For little Ezra that was 22 days. For JFK it was 46 years. My late grandfather (who was 90 when he died, I think) often quoted Psalm 90.

Psalm 90

9 For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh. 10 The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. 11 Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you? 12 So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

We are to acknowledge our mortality so that we may be wiser. Accept death’s reality and one lives wisely. There is a lot to be said and done in response to this pearl, no?

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Little Ezra’s mark…


Tress and I visited a family on Friday night. They’ve been in Melbourne for over year. They have the usual challenges for a relatively new migrant family and we just wanted to make ourselves available as friends and for company. We sat in their kitchen, as we listened to their stories.

The next morning, I woke early and went to St Alf’s for a men’s breakfast talk. Mark Sneddon talked about the challenges of balancing professional, family and personal issues and how his faith and Christians around him helped him deal with those issues. It was a highly personal and thought provoking talk. It invited compassion, understanding and camaraderie as men, to come alongside each other and support each other through life’s often hard journey.

Having visited the new migrant family and talked to them the previous night, listening to Mark really reinforced the reality of life’s many challenges many people have to face. Little did I know how these two encounters were to pale into insignificance in terms of the impact on Tress and I, compared to what lied ahead of us.

Tress and I were working on the garden on Sunday afternoon, and Tress had then gone into the house to do some cooking while I continued working in the garden. When I started cleaning up, I picked up my phone and read a text from my uncle Stephen which left me completely shocked and speechless.

Little Ezra came into the lives of my cousin Ruth and her husband Jonathan in Adelaide on October 18. He was little but otherwise looked healthy and well. His photographs, taken with proud beaming parents holding him in turn, were of the usual angelic beauty of baby pictures. My uncle Stephen and auntie Paddy had then joined them from Malaysia a week or so later and had been staying with them, cooking traditional confinement meals for Ruth which Jonathan also enjoyed. All seemed well and everyone were truly happy.

So it came as a shock when we were told that baby Ezra had passed on. He went to be with the Lord on the morning of 10 November. He was just over 3 weeks old.

For the next few hours, I was numbed, not quite knowing what to think or say. I tried to ring my uncle but someone picked up the phone but did not say anything. I then thought I’d leave them alone for a while, but I still do not know what to say to them. All I wanted was for them to know that they have people who would pray and be at their side if they needed or wanted this. God is all loving and all knowing – we are often asked to relate to our Creator from His purpose, not ours. And yet, often it is our narratives, our experiences, our journey that shape us and put us in a position to relate to Him. How do these two spheres interact? When and how, does His purpose make sense of our individual journeys? CS Lewis’s Screwtape said this:

Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks around upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.

Only He can make us respond that way, and only we can decide to respond that way…

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Roger Scruton


I was reading a newsletter from the Institute of Public Affairs, which carried a promo on the English philosopher Roger Scruton who would be visiting Australia early next year.

I clicked on a couple of links on the newsletter and was immediately sucked in. A link to a you tube “clip” was an hour long and I thought I’d watch a couple of minutes to decide if I’d watch it later. I ended up watching the whole hour. It was an interview in the US in an organisation known as the “Common Sense Society” and the topic of discussion was mainly on moral relativism.

I’m now wondering if I’d seek out his books for reading over the summer months…

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Cup Weekend


 

Tress and I (and LBJ) were at Mornington Peninsula from Sat to yesterday. We stayed in a property a couple of kilometers after Rye. Dreamily named “Limestone”, it’s owned by a couple Graeme and Lyn Hardiman. We had booked “Waves at Tyrone” also owned by the Hardimans but ended up in Limestone at their request.

It was only 300-400m to the beach so we went there on Sat. It was a great spot as it was dog friendly so LBJ could be let loose while Tress and I sat on the beach.

The Chews came up for a visit on Monday, we had lunch at Sorrento and we came back yesterday, after a very relaxing weekend away.

Earlier on Sat morning we had done some work in the garden, including applying some “weed and feed” chemicals and weed killers, as well water and plant some shrubs. After a really nice lunch at Madam Kwong’s we pushed off just after 1pm and got to the property around 2.30. We spent a few hours on the beach, walked a little bit, and then came back home and watched tv, read and just relaxed.

When the Chews visited, we drove to Sorrento and lunched at a joint famous for its vanilla slice. The Moroccan beetroot salad was delicious as well. I first had the vanilla slice from this place back when I workd with David Sharrock in Sharrock Pitman and he organised a weekend team build event in Sorrento. That was more than 8 years ago now…

I’ve just finished re-reading Clive James‘ trilogy autobiography (Unreliable Memoirs, Falling Towards England and May Week was in June). I first read these 25+ years ago and reading them again all those years later has been a differenty albeit familiar experience. Famous Australian artistes hidden as semi fictional characters are far more easily recognisable now. I also have a copy of North Face of Soho on my shelf – which I picked up when we got back from Rey yesterday.

It has been a great year of reading for me. Trips to Malaysia, NZ and Singapore as well as daily commutes on trains gave me plenty of reading hours and my Kindle Paperwhite has been a joy of a reading tool.  At times during our stay in Limestone in Rye, I found the companion of a good book almost as comforting and soothing as being there alone with just my lovely wife.

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LifeGate Ills Continue


A dear brother is hopefully, near a bend in his (and his family‘s) journey out of a difficult situation. He has much to offer and I sincerely hope he would start on that path of serving directly and actively again.

Last week however, he had a visit from 2 members of the LIfegate board. John Burger and Ben Foo are people we’ve been blessed to have known during our time at ICC Church. The account of their visit to Jason’s however, tells me they still have no idea how to sort this mess out.

Tham Fuan, Kheang Te, Lettice Chia and David Chiang have wronged Jason badly. Jason and his family are now hurting and suffering the consequences of their wrong act. To send John and Ben to his home without any sincerity to help Jason and his family, is like playing with  a burn victim’s wound without any idea of how to salve and heal him. To drop in cold and then seek to leave hurriedly wreaks of wanton carelessness with a victim’s emotions and well being.

For as long as they dont do the simple yet difficult thing of acknowledging the wrong, the LifeGate leadership would continue to be mired in such foolishness.  What fools. While I would forgive and seek reconciliation at the drop of a hat, how glad I am now I am no longer in fellowship with such obstinate fools for now. I hope this all end soon.

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Why I blog… :-)


Someone in the office said she was going for a holiday in Hangzhou in China. She said she was told of a phenomenon surrouding the Qian Tang river. I remembered visiting that place to see the “tidal waves” but was also reminded of an entry, like so, in October of 2010:

 

This time last month Tress Kiddo and I were on the highways outside of Hangzhou, in the province of Zhejiang in China. We left the city of Hangzhou early in the morning and was headed to Haining where the Qian Tang river was to undergo a very interesting phenomenon resulting in tidal waves. Thousands of tourists cramp along the banks of the river every year to witness this annual occurrence. It was supposed to be a spectacle and many in our group had made this trip to China mainly to see this. We came for a holiday and spend time with family but to these folks, the Qian Tang river tidal waves was supposed to be the main event.

There was only a small problem however – our bus driver. The little twerp decided to take a short cut and the usual 1½ bus ride ended up taking almost 6 hours and we still couldn’t find the river. It probably would not have taken that long had we surfed on the river to get there. We must have travelled on every inch of the highways circling around the city of Hangzhou and the detours and u-turns meant we saw a great deal of the highways and toll booths of Hangzhou but there was no river in sight.

The poor tourists in the bus were mostly elderly folks – mainly friends of Tress’ parents who were also subject to the merry-go-rounds – which compounded the problem. I know for a fact that with age, the bladder weakens. A stressed and panicky bus driver however, tends not to be aware of elderly passengers’ bladder problems. Some passengers began screaming for the driver to stop, threatening violence if he didn’t. I myself was ready to empty into any container I could lay my hands on.

We finally stopped at a toll plaza. The passengers made age defying sprints to a building next to the toll plaza, practically crying. We soon found out that the building was useless to us. It had only one toilet and there were about 20,000 old folks all critically needing a leak at the same time. The women queued up for the one and only toilet and the men busied themselves creating a dozen new ad hoc ones behind the building. I was one of those standing with our legs apart and swaying away, making sure we were not facing the wind. The initial cries accompanying the release slowly turned into laughter. The humour revealed itself only after the pressure is released, as always. We were more than happy to create our own tidal waves and weren’t the least interested, at least at that moment, in the QianTangRiver.

We gave up the adventure. We also gave up the driver. We made our way around Hangzhou and visited the city’s attractions with the help of another driver. We did get around to seeing the tidal waves the next day (with a different driver) which as a bit of an anti-climax. The story of the previous day however, was already created and it had nothing to do with the famous Qian Tang river or its tidal waves.

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How will it end? Or land?


 

Sometimes it feels like the world is heading towards landing points on all major issues and when the last of the issues still hovering finally find their landings, everyone would turn to look at each other and maybe ask “what now”.

Last weekend there was a speaker in church who suggested ecologically sustainable consumption is a Christian duty. On its face that’s a benign and utterly correct statement. Dig a little and you’d soon find notions of improvements, enhancing values, effective incentives and poverty eradication all challenge the otherwise pristine proposition that ecological sustainability is an overriding objective.

Similarly, the humanity considerations of dealing with the refugee phenomenon appear to require more critical and perhaps coldly objective evaluation when faced with the blurring of boundaries between traditional refugee criteria of fleeing war and persecution and contemporary experience of unapproved migration for social or economic causes.

And then there’s the macro economic issue of big government versus liberalism in the form of personal liberty to pursue economic activities. The recent stoush between Obama and the GOP clearly illustrate this point. On the one hand the issue of an ever increasing government size and the resulting spending (read: deficit) sounds like a bomb that would one day but surely, explode. On the other, tales of the working class poor as a growing demographics in the world’s most powerful country – a country which is supposed to be a beacon of freedom and wealth generation – suggests curtailing government intervention is perhaps not the best way forward. At least not at this moment in time.

Last Sunday, Tress and I turned and chatted to someone we got to know in church recently. He works for a well-known international aid organisation so the issues of food scarcity and changing patterns of consumption were perhaps stuff I thought he would be keenly interested in. We discussed generally the sermon we just heard. I thought there is something to the principle of living as a community of faith, where God’s edict of loving your neighbour as yourself, in the quest to land these issues.

Maybe instead of adopting the trajectory of bipartisan adversarial approach of left versus right, conservatives versus liberals, big government versus individual liberalism and such other contests, the answer lies in the gospel – in the form of living as a community of faith, where God dwells in and among man. Surely there is something to that. Perhaps extrapolate. God has bestowed plenty of creative and cognitive ability to His children. Obedience and industry amongst His people – would that take the world to a better place? Better landing, before the fuel runs out?

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