Category: Personal Thoughts

Ruse of Engagement


Tress has an offsite meeting at work this morning and planned to get into office early before that and today being my usual day-off gym for me, we decided to come in together early. I got in just after 7am and if I started work I’d probably be itching to leave the office soon after 4pm. So I decided to do some extracurricular work in the form of reading some material and before long my attention drifted towards some articles on The Sydney Institute website.

Soon I drifted onto the correspondence section and zeroed in on some exchanges between Gerard Henderson and Robert Manne. The latter is a chairman of the board for The Monthly and often contributes articles himself. In at least one article, he made some comments about Gerard Henderson who then griped about having no right of reply, with The Monthly having no letter to the editors section. The response was that there was a letter to the editor section exists in the online version of The Monthly but quite rightly, Henderson’s concern may have been I believe, that the print and online editions may have very different audiences and one who reads the print edition – especially a subscriber such as Henderson – would probably expect to be able to have a reply on the print edition.

A subscriber may only read the print edition and may never see responses to what has been written, if the subscriber does not read the online version. Cross medium readership must be a voluntary outcome, not compelled by any reason. Also, there’s always the chance that an online edition runs the risk of “tampering” later. In my (not quite Luddite) mind the print edition would have these readers’ feedbacks well, in print and therefore less subject to issues of veracity or integrity.

Robert Manne did give Henderson some back to be fair and quite a big swing too. He may have copped some beatings in many ways but more than anything else and as always, what I am heartened to see is the rigour of engagement. It’s like watching two footy players from opposing sides jumping, diving, running and jostling, intercepting and tackling to win and use the ball to kick a goal. In many ways the outcome is important only to appreciate the tussle which in itself gives life to an otherwise banal existence. It’s an engagement not to achieve one upmanship or as time fillers but as a corporeal fulfilment to an otherwise 2-dimensioal relationship. By engaging thoroughly to flesh out a contest a relationship takes on new dimensions, even new heights.

When I read earlier today of the carnage that still litters the lives of Jason and Mel I wonder yet again why there is such a lack of engagement to bottom out this debacle that has beset the leadership of LifeGate Church of Christ in Glen Waverley for so long. Why have the leaders there inflicted such damage on another erstwhile leader and thereafter extract themselves of any further engagement so that the injured leader is left to lick his own wounds? It would have beggared belief had this occurred in any other context. That it happened in a church, with the chief protagonist and top attack dog a full time paid senior pastor is incomprehensible. The rest in the pack were all leaders – members of the church board. All ganged up to inflict damage on another brother and fellow leader. How could this have been?

I have asked Jason to walk away – shake the dust off his sandals and head to another pasture. This callous group does not deserve anymore of his time. But relationships are hard to be extricated from. My 8 years in that cauldron took me nearly a year to shake off. My dear friend had 15 years there. It would take him longer for sure but this total lack of engagement from this couldn’t care less group is doing the worst possible thing for my friend. It didn’t start that way of course. Pastor Tham Fuan Yee had given them the impression he was eager to work with them, and had called them “God-sends” but alas, that engagement was a mirage which has turned out to be an absolute desert that parches. I once called Pastor Tham Fuan Yee a curse that kept on cursing. I am inclined to think that continues to be the case.

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Brooding and contemplating


It was a stinking hot day yesterday and we were glad we had the air conditioning put in recently – it worked a treat. Tress and I had a very good barbequed whole snapper with a delicious salad and after that we had watered the plants to soften the impact of the heat when the little black furry ball started chasing birds in our lawn. There’s probably a nest somewhere because as I moved to the front lawn, he darted out towards a bush and then straight through across the road towards the park. I had to chase him down and drag him back before he tore into the poor thing. We took him out to the park and oval later anyway but his interest was firmly fixed on those birds.

Summer means the regular tv programs have stopped and so last night we were half expecting programs like Four Corners to come on at the ABC but a Rick Stein India offering came on instead. It was probably just as good but I was then reminded of Heston Blumenthal being interviewed by Ross and John at 3AW where Heston was asked why Britain produced a disproportionate number of celebrity chefs, with sneered remarks on Nigella Lawson who was recently reported as being a coke user.

I first started enjoying all these cook shows when the Chinese American (or was he Canadian) Martin Yan had his show which was screened in Malaysia on Sunday afternoons. His tag line “if Yan cook so can you” was goofy but catchy and I have playfully used it every now and then while in the kitchen. Then it was that eccentric British Floyd, who was habitually inebriated, sometime overly so even in front of the camera. But he was loads of fun and even though my culinary education wasn’t a key outcome of watching those shows, it gave me some broad/basic ideas of ingredients, styles, methods, etc. Now, there’s a plethora of these chefs on tv and other than news and sports, they continue to form the bulk of my tv watching hours – which is all a bit of a time waster to be honest so it is something I hope would not last beyond this year.

I’m hoping for an incremental involvement in my local church in 2014. We’ve been there since May this year and so we’re into our eight month now. When activities resume in February we’d be closing in towards a year so hopefully we’d be a little more than just a Sunday morning presence.

I wonder what 2014 holds generally. More of the same probably and I hope the art of doing the same thing repeatedly becomes something I acquire and appreciate. It would be a big step for me in many ways. I have to say while I do not dread the things I do, they no longer provide me with the level of excitement or satisfaction they once did. I don’t mind doing it still – for as long as the foreseeable future requires – and much as many people would experience, I too would have to come to terms with the fact that for the most part, life is an uneventful experience. The occasional event that gives an elevated sense of being or experience is precisely that: occasional event.

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Summer is here, building blocks, etc


After Tress and I had a quick dinner on our way home last Friday night, we caught up with Jason and Mel over some chocolaty dessert in the newish choc shop in the Forest Hill Chase shopping centre. Sammi came along and relayed some good news – she has made it through her second year in Uni (really well) and has lined up a summer holiday job in a retail food outlet. We had a laugh over the second piece of news as it was the same retail food brand which had copped some bad press earlier in the day, with serious food hygiene challenges!

We chatted a little bit about a recent meeting Jason and Mel had with a young couple – a couple with whom they had been close, helped and supported for a very long time, before the events earlier this year caused so many issues and turned their lives (Jason and Mel’s) upside down. It appeared what we had said before is slowly proving true i.e., the leader makes the member. With a leader that is superficial in engagement and adopts a “touch and go” attitude members slowly become the same. They make general statements in a passing manner, never stopping to consider the meaning, import and impact of such statements. Often they are meaningless. It’s a sad outcome but these are independent able bodied and healthy adults. If they choose to think and behave like so, it is their prerogative. I suppose it can only prove our decision (to leave) right.

Saturday was 30 November – the date of my dad’s passing. It’s 7 years already. I woke very early for a Saturday, and when I couldn’t go back to sleep, I got up and started our usual weekend activities. After an early and leisurely breakfast and an early drop at the dry cleaners’ (I was the first customer and they had just opened), Tress and I went to the Strawberry Point fruit and veg shop on Canterbury Road again to get our green groceries and get ready for the salad we were bringing to the Hipos’ that night. We then popped into a medical lab to get my blood test done – the doctor had ordered it as a periodic check to gauge the outcome of a year’s consumption of allopurinol.

When we got back around 9.30am, I started pottering around the outside of the house. It has been a while since I got onto the roof of our home, and the gutter clearing activity took me up there again. Just before noon, gutters cleared, Tress and I cleaned up and went to Madam K’s. After lunch we came back and after another coffee, we went back to working on the gardens. The spate of rainy days and warm weather had provided great conditions for the lawn to grow out of control, and the mower was strained by the thick growth. I realised the oil level was low when I checked to ensure the heavy workload wouldn’t blow the mower, so I took a quick trip to Bunnings’ and picked up a few things in addition to the engine oil, came back home and got the rest of the work done.

It was close to 5 and I had just come into the house, and then Kiddo messaged us asking to skype. We did that for the next hour or so, which was great and even when I went away to clean up and Tress nicked off to the shop to pick up some food for the Hipos, we kept the call going. It was just like she was physically in the room with us. I’m just so grateful we have the privilege of access to all these modern communications. We often reminded her during our time it was maybe a couple of dollars for every minute we were on the phone with someone back home in Malaysia. One year back in the 80’s I was at my uncle’s home (Thomas) in Sydney for Christmas and I got a Christmas present from them. I opened the box and there was a slip of paper and nothing else in there. The message on that slip of paper was I get to make a call to Malaysia… I was courteous and kept the call to only a few minutes but a 10 minute call would have cost more than $20…

The dinner at Gerry and Jesslyn’s was very pleasant as always. “Hipos” was the term of endearment they coined for themselves (combination of their surnames). We have known them since their early days in Melbourne more than 5 years ago and their 2 young girls (3½ years and 3 months old) are both like young nieces/wards of ours. Other than just being their friends however we don’t usually have to do a lot of heavy lifting as they such competent, confident and smart young people. Their wherewithal to deal with life’s challenges is fully matched by their warmth and humour at every turn.

On Sunday a missionary couple spoke. They work with the Missionary Aviation Fellowship. They work in the western region of Papua New Guinea, where the development index lies somewhere between the lowest and second lowest countries in the world. The theme of isolation and the issues that presents, was framed with the message of battling Goliath as the metaphor.  Just as God used the most unlikely person in David to deal with “the Philistine”, God can and will use anyone to deal with apparently gigantic issues like isolation in the Papua New Guinea western region.

Sometimes simple messages like this can come across as banal but as in many things, life is often about getting the basics right. Perfection is getting many basic tasks right over and over again, it has been said. Lessons shared by this young, hardworking, compassionate missionary couple would be significant building blocks for their lives and ministry going forward. They simply need to stay focused and faithful and it would in the end, be lives so rich they can joyfully say they have run good races and fought good fights. I sincerely wish I too can lay claim to such deeds when my time comes.

It was the first day of summer and people – young and old, in church and everywhere else – were decked out in shorts and sandals. Tress and I spent the afternoon just pottering around, taking the little black furry fellow on walks and generally just enjoying the very warm day. We put up some minimalist Christmas decorations, and finished the day with some cooking (for the dinners this week) and getting my lunch ready. One more week before Kiddo comes home for a few weeks, and only 4 weeks before the year is over.

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Remembering


7 years ago today, my father went to be with The Lord. Remembering him…

Emmanuel?


  • Little Ezra. Ms SS. Madam Lee. Madam Lim. One little boy and three elderly ladies.
  • 2 elderly men, both tethered on life’s edge and back again. Back again to give thanks to God in a church service.
  • Ms BS. Smart, educated and looked like awarm loving lady, incapacitated by long term illness. Gave thanks to God for others who could live normal lives.
  • Ms YLT. Strong willed lady who willed her family through storms. Husband fought against stage 4 cancer and came out healed. Willed her children through poignant moments of challenges.
  • Mr MS. Smart, successful, educated and warm and loving man who carried his family strongly in support.
  • Ms N and Mr A J. Smart, energetic and sacrificial servants of God. Qualified business people, they headed offshore and have had to deal with wide range of challenges in serving God in obedience.

God has blessed us with a journey that helped us come into connection with such people in the past few weeks. Some closer than others, some more distant. Every one of those people touched us in ways which made us reflect on life, God and our journey on earth. These connections, whether by merely listening to them in a public forum or sitting in their kitchen listening to them, deepened my conviction that engagement and a desire to be there with and for someone is fundamental to ministry.

This is against type for me. I have been one for being by myself – in a corner at home reading a book, listening to a CD or watching a movie has always been a preferred activity for me. Yet this wasn’t what God did. He always wanted to engage with His people – be among them, eat, work, weep, teach and make lives better by being with His people. Jesus died so that God’s people can be with Him in perpetuity.

With about 4 weeks to Christmas, this message of Emmanuel is a timely one perhaps…

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Being there


Cover of "Being There (Deluxe Edition)"
Being There

I had a meeting last Friday arvo from 3pm and when I got back to my desk at 4pm, I couldn’t believe what I saw on the screen – England had crumbled and had lost something like 6 wickets for 9 runs. After checking I had no urgent calls or emails to respond to, I quickly went to the tea room and joined a few other blokes who have been watching the game.

The day ended with Australia well on top so the unpleasant scenes of Australia’s first innings were well and truly erased.

As usual, I was very tired on Friday night and when we met up for dinner at the Enrik café with Jason and Mel, I was just happy to be in a busy but pleasant restaurant so close to home with Tress and some very dear friends. Dinner was very good and we just stayed on and chatted for a bit before leaving.

It was raining on Sat – the weekend forecast had been a wet one – so I couldn’t work on the garden. After the usual dry cleaning run, I said to Tress the wet morning would mean less congestion at the new fruit and veg market on Canterbury Road at Forest Hill (Strawberry Point) so we quickly went over and got our green grocery for the week, and then we drove to Mount Waverley and met Simon, Tress’ hairdresser. A hair cut had been long overdue for me and much as I was sure Simon had barely woken up when he worked on my mop top, I was glad I had it done.

After lunch (at Madam Kwong’s Kitchen of course) and a quick visit to a property auction, we (or I) spent the rest of the arvo just vegging out in front of the telly, watching the cricket. My right Achilles had caused me grief anyway so it was a perfect excuse to just spend a cool and wet Sat arvo doing nothing except watch Michael Clarke and David Warner chalk up satisfying tons.

The rain continued pouring on Sunday. There was an AGM after the service and Tress and I decided to stay for that meeting, to get a soak in of some of the issues the church had faced in the past year. It ended close to 2pm. We went to Madam Kwong’s Kitchen again after that and since it continued to pour, we just decided to go to a shopping place and walked around.

The service was a thanksgiving one and numerous people publicly gave thanks for a whole range of matters. A familiar pattern emerged very quickly – that of life’s many challenges. Often, these challenges require solutions. A way forward to resolve the matter at hand would always bring relief and pave a way towards a brighter future.

What’s become crystal clear however is that other than solution or a way forward, often those facing life’s challenges just need someone at their side. This person need not have any answers – just being there to provide support and perhaps add strength, clarity of mind to deal with the issues or challengers and the assurance that no matter what happens, there is someone who would be there for them. That someone would certainly help countervail any tendency to over-internalise the challenges one faces.

Facing challenges is probably another one of life’s certainty. In recent weeks, we have seen a cancer patient succeeding, heard about another patient failing, seen a young man battling depression, been with a couple who lost their first born infant child, and been touched by other departures of others who have spent considerably more years.

In all of these experiences, the presence of another as they navigate their paths in dealing with the challenges, has always been what’s deeply treasured. Being there for someone matters. Praying for someone is often a throwaway line used in such circumstances and prayers may or may not happen. The Lord may or may not intervene. But as members of the community we find ourselves in, being there for one who is faced with these challenges, is often what we can and ought to do. Sometimes, like Peter Sellers, “Being there” is what matters. I need to think about responding to this more meaningfully.

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Ashes to ashes


First test got under way in Brisbane this morning and Australia has got off to its usual disastrous start.

At tea, we’re 6-153 (Clarke out for 1, Broad on a 5-wicket haul) .

I think we’ve been on a sugar hit of Warne and Co for far too long. The likes of McGrath, Gilchrist, Hayden, Langer, Ponting et all alongside the genius of Warne, were always going to surround Australia with such a coat of invincibility that once removed, the all too frail internals would fray and be oh so ugly.

Of the current crop now, who’d provide some semblance of solidity? Only Clarke has any valid claims to such status and with his always crook back it was always going to be an uphill battle. The only one coming close is perhaps Watto but he too is alwways fragile and succumbs to injuries all too often.

It’s going to be an awfully long summer cricket wise. Sigh…

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ANZ Visa Rewards Program


If you have an ANZ Visa credit card and use the Visa Rewards program to redeem stuff, make sure you check your statement. They charge an annual fee of $42 and every year, I have to ring them to have it waived. It’s a 5 minute call and you’d save $42 but unless one checks statements regularly, that is $42 down the gurgler.

I made that call again a few minutes ago and they waived it again as usual. They said “Ah, you’ve been with us a since 2005, so that’s not a problem”. So why not automatically waive the fee for anyone who have stayed, for say 3 years, or even 5 years?

Banks and their fees – the fees are always negotiable but one always have to ask.

So if you have an ANZ Visa Rewards card, make sure you check your statements and have them waive the fees. It’s easy enough to walk away if they dont.

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Smartphone and changed lives


I was in the men’s room at work a short while ago. All 3 cubicles were occupied. Someone was laughing in one of them. I didnt go in to use the cubicle and was only in there for a couple of minutes or so but the whole time, that guy was laughing.

I guess it had to be a smartphone thing. Pre-smartphone days, if someone was laughing inside a cubicle of a men’s room, you’d think funny.

Smartphones have come a long way in changing lives and behaviours.

In so many ways.

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Asylum seekers and duty of originating countries


Tress and I watched the Four Corners program last night. It was another one of those asylum seekers story. I wondered aloud, not for the first time, why countries are allowed to mismanage themselves so badly and other countries are expected to pick up the pieces or deal with the fallout.

Perhaps that is what Jesus would have wanted western nations to do – to reach out and help people in need. People who have suffered and now want to move away from these sufferings. But is having a softer policy where “all are welcomed here” approach best suited to help?

Perhaps the next time America “interferes” in domestic issues of a foreign country, one can point to asylum seekers issue as a justification? If leaders of say, Somalia, don’t look after their own backyard and their people leave so that the shores of say Australia, are peppered with rickety boats and dead bodies, can’t Australia say to Somalia that unless it does more, it will come into Somalia and fix it for them?

I remember Ryland v Fletcher from my property law lectures well. Can we not design something in the international community along the principle borne out by the rule in Ryland v Fletcher?

Often we have despotic regimes or warped governments whose policies and laws drive their people away. Those who can leave for another country properly do, but others who can’t, have to do it “illegally”. Their destination countries are then faced with the dilemma of balancing the competing interests of protecting their sovereignty and applying humanitarian assistance. On the rule in Ryland v Fletcher these countries can act against those despotic or warped regimes, no?

For sure the judicial ruling of an English court has no legal application in this context but that principle is intuitively correct to a simple mind like mine. If we speak of an obligation to help asylum seekers, surely we can also consider a right to demand action by the originator of the problem.

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