Category: Personal Thoughts

Doggies tail tucked (just)


I had a lazy Sunday arvo yesterday. Tress and I had wanted to go watch the Hawks play the Doggies at The Etihad but after a busy Saturday, we decided to watch it on tele and do some chores at home.

But what a match it was. The Doggies have been playing “sexy footy” in the opening 2 rounds and were the form team. The 3-peaters had climbed back off a poor start to Dangerfield infested Cats in the opening round, to win convincingly in round 2, against the West Coast in a repeat of last year’s Grand Final. So it was a mouth watering clash between a slick, speedy contender in red hot form and a colossus of the modern game.

We had walked the little fellow after a big lunch at the Shangri-la Inn, where we had bumped into some old friends – Leng, Linda and Brian. We took him on a long slow walk, catching glimpses of a soccer game between 2 local African looking teams along the way, before coming home just before first bounce at 3.20pm.

The contest proved worthy of the pre match hypes. The Hawks surged early on, leading 32 points at one stage but on half time, the lead was cut down to just 1 point. Then in the third quarter, the Doggies blitzed through to a 19 point lead. I said to Tress sometimes they were so quick it was breathtaking. Like true champions they are however, the mighty Hawks fought for every ball and somehow, Mcevoy managed to fight for a ball, got it to Burgoyne who punted straight down the corridor inside the 50 for Sicily – Ice Man – to make his now signature vertical leap for a mark, 90 seconds before the final siren. Bob Murphy – the very likeable Doggies skipper had twisted his knee (now suspected ruptured ACL) – in trying to context that mark. As he was carried off looking very much in pain, Ice Man kicked the winning goal from 45m – and then held on to a final mark seconds before the end.

Earlier that arvo at the Bellerive Oval in Tassie, the Kangas had just managed to escape with a 5 point victory against the Dees. The Dees had a last chance for a snap goal seconds before the final siren, but the kick went behind.

All that drama… I had been engaged in a facebook Malaysian forum a week ago, trying to ward off suggestions that members in that forum condoned racism. Apparently we hadn’t demonstrated the sort of angst some expected, against adverse experiences of some in the Aboriginal community. These experiences – it was suggested – showed systemic racism and any inaction by members of the forum were hypocritical as criticisms against (often racist) policies of Malaysia were often rife. Those discussions turned at some point into issues of embracing local life. I wondered why no one ever broached the subject of footy and I wondered if most Malaysians still watched soccer, even if the A League was of far inferior standards to the European leagues, which many still stay up at 2/3 am to watch.

Maybe it was because United had fizzled away into a has been. Maybe the 3-o thrashing by Spurs overnight contributed to my dwindling passion for soccer. But I still watch games – via EPL on Demand on Foxtel – just not live ones, because it has become near impossible to stay up late for these games and still go to work the next day with a clear head. I had started following AFL a lot more closely some years ago, when Sir Alex was still ruling the EPL roost. Back in 2008, Ronaldo and Co had just steered United to the great European arenas, when I watched with utter delight, Crawford bellowing “that’s what I’m talking about” into the microphone during the medal ceremony, after defeating the Cats in the 2008 Grand Final. So while United was at the pinnacle, I had started switching codes. It’s probably due to context. It’s much easier to follow games when it’s on Friday night, Sat arvo, Sunday arvo etc… and easier to access when it’s at the G, as opposed to the Nou Camp in Barcelona…

So why Malaysians who have been here for the longest time still watch soccer more then AFL, will remain an interesting question for me and I wonder if I’d ask the question on that forum some time soon…

Dealing with issues


I said to Tress yesterday, I’m having to work at how I’d deal with same sex couples. Inevitably, some will have me cross their paths as they will mine. This is what I’d do…

  • I will invite a same sex couple to my home for dinner, coffee, drinks (whatever) as I would any other couple.
  • I will have fellowship with a same sex couple in church, in a home group, and in any other church or church related meetings – as I would with any other couple.
  • I will socialise with a same sex couple as I would with any other couple.
  • I will attend a social event organised by a same sex couple – whether in their home or in another venue – as I would that organised by any other couple. What I haven’t worked out however is whether I would attend that event if it’s a wedding or wedding anniversary of that couple as I’m not sure I’d celebrate that union.

That’ll be a start. Seems like a no brainer but I have had to work through those statements to reach a landing…

 

Good Samaritan/Refugee Aid


I recently read a comment that the Good Samaritan helped the (robbery and assault) victim and thereafter, let him go on his way. That Good Samaritan did not proceed to get that victim to go into his home.

I often said to Tress that if someone truly desires to help refugees, he should go to the numerous refugee camps (such as in Africa). It is not to demand Governments open its borders, allowing people smugglers to develop their business.

If the situation arises, I’d probably help someone whose paths I cross, where I see that person needs help. It’s much harder – and a much bigger leap – to demand my government opens up its border as a – the – way to help refugees.

A debate which appears interesting, and which I hope to follow later tonight/this weekend: https://www.munkdebates.com/debates/Global-Refugee-Crisis

A morning chat


There was a bit of that opening scene of “Four Weddings and A Funeral” at home this morning. Tress and I both forgot to set our alarms and when I woke and saw the clock said “6.33” I said (not fuck) “Oh My God” and jumped out of bed. Tress parroted the “Oh My God” (not fuck) bit and jumped out of bed too. We each said “Oh My God” a couple of times more before quickly going through the motions.

On a workday, I’m up at 5.10. Tress gets up about 5.45. So 6.33 is somewhat an overslept morning and I skipped my push ups and readings. Tress rushed through her routines and we were out the door 7.03, instead of our usual 6.33.

Thankfully it was the school holidays and also an RDO for the tradies so the roads were clear. I got in around 7.40. While not overly late, the frazzled start meant I felt I was running behind. And so when a colleague walked into my room for a chat, I tried not to show I was a little bit twitchy.

K said to me straight away, that his 18 year old son was suspected of having cancer. That chat very soon became a 25 minute conversation…

K had 3 children from a previous marriage. The 18 year old is his second. He lives with K 2 days a week, as does the third, a 15 year old. The eldest is 20 and he occasionally drops in to see K. K said he first noticed his 18 year old had a growth on the left side of his face, a few weeks ago. It has now grown considerably and last week a biopsy was done. The results are out on Thursday and it is very obviously something that has been on K’s mind a lot.

When K’s wife left him, they had shared custody of the 3 children. He had them for the weekend. He said his friend told him he was stitched up, having the kids on the weekend. But he was working full time, and still is. Because his weekend was with his children, he could not find another partner, he said. So he got himself a mail bride, from Vietnam. He’s very happy now, he says, as far as having a life partner is concerned.

He’s been to Vietnam to see his in laws many times since. His Vietnamese in laws also visit them here. 2 of them are here now, staying with him. I asked if he was the only one working. He chuckled and said yes. He has 2 children from his present marriage. His wife works when she can find it. She hasn’t found anything in weeks.

He’s a senior engineer in my workplace, but he cares for 7-9 persons.

I asked more about his 18 year old. He then said that wasn’t the first cancer scare. His 5 year old daughter had cancer too, when she was 6 months old.

I told him about my friend Steven, who was at our home for dinner on Sunday night. Steven was from Klang too. He too, had cancer. I told K about Steven so he could perhaps be hopeful. I told K about a very full life Steven now has. Steven works hard, and has a wonderful wife and 4 great kids. One of them is training to be a doctor in WA. The other 3 were at our home on Sunday night too and they’re great kids. His wife is a warm, funny and lovely person. At our home on Sunday night, she told stories which made us laugh till we cried. Jason and Mel looked embarrassed but they had a good laugh too. Steven’s life now appears to be very full, and normal.

K nodded when I said that while the immediate future looked challenging, life can assume a great deal of normalcy after some time.

I offered to pray for his 18 year old and he said thanks.

We talked some more about how life is so unlike in days past. I said to him when we first came to Melbourne in 2004 and I looked for a school for Kiddo, enrolment forms in schools hit me between the eye. Spaces for details for “father” and “mother” were replaced with “Partner 1” and “Partner 2”. I said to him I wonder how much more complicated it must be today, when society is on the brink of recognising same sex marriage and gender neutrality.

He told me about some of his ex colleagues who were contemplating suicide and infanticide, because family has become highly stressful. Paternity suits, shared custody, alleged inequality of care and resource demands, are breaking down individual and collective lives. I said to him I wonder if the Family Law Act – no fault divorce – hailed by many when Lionel Murphy first waved them through in 1975 now still looks like a good idea.

I wonder if K thought about this before, but as we talked some more about how he would go about sending his son to the doctor on Thursday and how this week would pan out, I said to him again I would pray for his son.

He said his wife is superstitious. I said I can be too. I told him how my blue Swatch was no good any more – it didn’t help the Hawks when Tress and I watched them torn apart by Dangerfield and the Cats at the G yesterday. I said we laughed about the watch and he laughed. He accepted I was superstitious but no longer am.

I said I would pray for his son.

He appeared to be a little bit consoled. Could be he needed someone to talk to. Could be he thought prayers could certainly do it. Next time I need to be able to say to him it wasn’t about the prayers. It’s about God. It’s about Jesus.

I was even later to start my work but it was a very good morning conversation with K.

Nosey


Not long after I finished my reading this morning, I noticed a nose bleed. The left nostril was oozing and dripping rapidly and I really cannot remember the last time this happened to me. It was another cool morning but not at all cold in any confronting degree.

I guess being in very unfamiliar territory creates stress. I cannot remember the last time a conundrum confronts and contorts so confusingly.

The world I live in now twists and turns in Teutonic terms.

Spend to care, nary a thought for resource scarcity.

Demand open doors, neutralise the good by importing what would  be incapable of creating or maintaining the good which attracts in the first place.

Gender dysphoria is not a condition to be treated. Surgical solution is to be preferred.

Tear down and rebuild. Fill the spaces with built environment so more can come and tear down even more. Tear down trees and fill spaces.

Conjugal marriages denormalised, to be replaced with genderless partnerships and import glued on parts to create families. Conjugal marriages to produce offsprings is a model to be sneered at or better yet – to be confined to bins of history.

And more.

I have been confused. I no longer know what to think, expect or measure. Changes come, from everywhere and all the time. Accepted norms – regardless of inherent reasoning, coherence and logic – are constantly reviewed, revised and reframed and not necessarily for the sake of progress. Change because that is what the world today expects, not because what is has become bad or the new is better.

Yet, some – many – changes are for the better.

Men no longer treat women badly. Children are respected. Knowledge, science and learning have all taken huge leaps at accelerated paces.

I don’t always or readily recognise what change is for the better and what change is simply a discarding of the old.

I stemmed the nose bleed relatively quickly. I’m not sure I know how to deal with the other thing.

 

Palm Sunday weekend


As we were driving in to work this morning, I said to Tress I slept really well last night. She said she did too. Maybe it was the afternoon spent outdoors, working on peripheral stuff around the house under a beautiful blue sky that glowed all the more after a few days’ rain and cold winds.

At lunch at Madam K’s earlier, we bumped into Jason and Mel and so stayed at the little eatery a bit longer than we usually did. It was good chatting as always. We got home just before 1pm and went straight outside after a change of clothes. I thought the ground would have softened after the rain and so decided to dig along the edges of the front lawn to put some edging screens in, to keep the soil and mulch in as much as possible. I sometimes think the the pavements in front of our house look messier than our neighbours’ because soil and other ground covers were constantly spilling down the slightly sloped ground.

Tress got busy with loads of weeding and pulling out dead wood as I worked on the edgings and the little black jedi was wandering through our neighbours’ front gardens but we stayed outdoor all afternoon. I continued with the side lawn edgings, swept the front, trimmed some hedges on Sharon’s side of the fence and also applied some weed killers behind the shed – the overgrown stuff that had bothered Tress for a while now.

Tress had meanwhile moved indoors and did a load of ironing while watching the Grand Prix on tv. I finished up, had a shower and a beer, and watched the race for a bit before fixing breakfast and lunch for the next day and then joined Tress who had gone out to take LBJ for a walk through around the oval.

Work made sleep easy. Sleep is easy when you’ve worked hard. But now we feel we don’t have enough sleep – maybe its the long commute requiring an early start. Tress works incredibly hard during the week. On Friday as we were driving home after a long week, she asked me how to hotspot her phone for her to connect the laptop to the internet. She then worked on some spreadsheet and sent it off to someone. My mind was already on my couch with a glass of red in my hand…

On Saturday morning we had a lazy breakfast at home, then drove to Deepdene to see my dentist. It’s incredible how much dental work costs. I’d never be able to get all the recommended work done – it’d set me back more than a year’s living costs!

On Palm Sunday in church the next day, Ross, Nicole and the team put on a really good “all age” service. The triumphant entry into Jerusalem was the main text/story and they cleverly weaved that into a message of who we think Jesus is and how that squares up with what He did and the sort of Kingdom He came to realize. Very NT Wright sort of message, and what an effective way to deliver that to all ages.

Maybe it’s the hard work in the gardens later that arvo, maybe it was the peace that came with having received that Palm Sunday message, maybe it was simply being part of everyday life…I slept really well last night…

John Lennon, Service and all that


Tress remarked to someone on Saturday night that I craved catching up with people, having been starved of company all those months in Canberra.

She was right of course.

We were with the Hipos and Jason and Mel again on Friday night. Gerry wanted us to go to this new ramen and dumpling place in Vermont South and after that we went to the Hipos’ home for drinks. When we left around 9.30pm, we were both so tired – it had been another long week at work for the both of us and for me, it was great just catching up with old friends again and we were going to also meet up with Alex and his family the following night.

On Sat morning after sleeping in and breakfast at home, we went shopping. We got some pork ribs which we marinated with lots of garlic, the rub mix Mic and ET had got from the Yarra Valley, Chinese wine and sugar. I then went to my back neighbour’s backyard to trim the pittosporum which had grown on that side to a size that was going to play havoc with the fence. It was a messy backyard, with loads of uncontrolled growth so all I could do was get rid of the large bunches so that no chunky bits was compromising the fence. After over an hour I went and worked on our own lawns and backyard and kept at it till just on 4pm. Tress had done the laundry and ironing and earlier, had also gone to Madam K’s to pick up lunch – we had on the deck – it was a very good break for me.

Garden done I started to roast the ribs. The gas ran out and thankfully the spare bottle I had in the shed was full and the cooking finally got done just after 6.30 and we went to Alex and Li Har’s home a bit after 7. Tress particularly enjoyed the evening – probably because the drinking was more controlled and the group was smaller.

Alex had confided with me that night. It had been a tough 2015 for him too. It was mainly financial concerns and he and Li Har had also contemplated the option of returning to Malaysia. He’s found work with a Malaysian developer however and so that’s tiding things over for him.

I guess we all have our struggles. I thought 2015 had been such a strange and challenging year for me but spending time with different people often produce that sort of outcome – where you find your struggles are not isolated and while unique, is not an uncommon experience. I guess that is just another way to say and experience how fallen man strives to right wrongs.

Sunday at church Peter taught well (as he often does) on Romans 3. Bad news in Romans 1:18-3:20 bookended by the Good News of Romans 1:1-17 and 3:21-31. We’re all no where near good enough but we’re all saved in Christ.

Late yesterday arvo as Tress and I walked Little Black Jedi, I said to her I’d really want this to be a preparatory year of sorts. At the end of this year, I hope to be very clear minded about the sort of ministry to serve in. I’m not sure I want to remain a passive member of St Alf’s beyond 2016. I need to serve. It’s waiting again I guess, to see where/how the Lord wants me to serve in St Alf’s. Maybe He wants me to wait, just so the desire to serve goes beyond the selfish (I need to serve) to the selfless (Who needs to be served).

As I was roasting the ribs on Saturday, I caught on TV, Dreyfuss in his role as Glenn Holland in “Mr. Holland’s Opus” was doing a beautiful rendition John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy. ” “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans” was a line I remembered well when I first watched that movie – it made me buy the soundtrack. The CD is still sitting in a cupboard here somewhere – I made sure I brought it with us when we left Malaysia.

While I wait on Him – making plans to serve Him – life happens. Offer myself as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is my true and proper worship/service. For now – 2016 – sure, but probably beyond too. Perfection is a series of little things done right… who said that?

 

Still Safe?


I first came across the Safe Schools Coalition several weeks ago. I went into their website one day during lunch hour. While I must say I learned a lot reading some of the material on that site, I wasn’t sure I’d leave those matters in the hands of schools, if I was a parent to school going children.

I’m glad my child is now an adult. I need not be apprehensive about having my child taught sexuality on terms set out in the Safe Schools website. I have however, so many friends and relatives who still have (or would have) school going children, who would be subject to the those matters.

So I started sharing stuff on social media, and wondered how parents felt. This weekend I started to get an idea of how others thought and felt.

Last Thursday night at the church small group meeting at the Maury’s home, someone suggested the material per se wasn’t problematic but left in the hands of teachers who do not subscribe to Biblical teachings and who like to think of themselves as progressives, it could easily be used to teach sexuality in terms that would be highly uncomfortable to me. Someone remarked that is probably how someone who is not a Christian, would feel about religious education. To someone like me who still think there is a right and wrong – based not on my own standards but on the Bible’s – that is not a bad thing. I believe Christian education is good for mankind. I believe teaching sexuality on terms set out in the Safe School coalition site would not be good for mankind. So there…

Friday night we caught up with the Hipos and Chews at the newish Peppers on Fire restaurant on Mahoney’s Road. We thought it was new as I only noticed it last week but Jesslyn told us it had been opened for several months now. We had some very good Sri Lankan food there and talked, touching briefly on the Safe Schools matter.

At church yesterday, Mike McNamara said Lyle Shelton of the Australian Christian Lobby will be on Q&A tonight and asked for prayers for Lyle (boy is he going to need them). Mike also mentioned Safe Schools and thought Lyle would no doubt touch on that tonight.

Finally yesterday arvo after church Tress and I went and visited Carrie and Jonathan in their new home in Mulgrave, only a stone’s throw from Waverley Park/Hawthorn HQ. There we also met Joshua and Lu Fong and again we also touched on Safe Schools – we talked more because between those 2 couples they’ve 5 school going children. They all said they were not at all comfortable with what Safe Schools was doing.

Yesterday and this morning John Howard was reported to have voiced his concerns over Safe Schools. I’m glad that got a lot of airwaves and column inches. Malcolm Turnbull would not have provided that sort of voice and Abbott was always going to be lost in the messaging, not because he was incompetent or incapable but the bias and hatred against him is so ingrained in so many levels of community that his voice would always be drowned by howls of hatred against what in many minds, he represents.

And so it was a good weekend – many catch ups with friends and getting comfort that many still care and want to voice their concerns over things I care about.

Today Kiddo and Mic come down from Canberra to spend a week with Tress and I. I look forward to seeing them again, and to talk, eat and spend time with them.

 

Week Wheel


We spent Saturday arvo out in Maribyrnong. It took us well over an hour to crawl through the inner city tram tracked roads to get there, but it was worth it as we spent the arvo with Ruth and Jonathan and 6 chek and 6 chim. Oh and little Micah of course.

Tress and I had stopped at a butcher in Box Hill the night before and we were thrilled they still had a couple of racks of ribs as we had wanted to do a roast pork ribs for the lunch with Ruth & Co. It was just past 6pm so we got the ribs and some fruit for Tress to do a fruit salad and then went home and walked the little fellow before settling down to a glass of vino. Tress had a big lunch so didn’t want dinner so I made a little bruschetta thing with toasted bread, little cherry tomatoes and smoked salmon – all left over pieces in the fridge – and top with a generous drizzle of olive oil. I then marinated the ribs and kept it away in the fridge.

Saturday morning we roasted the ribs, Tress pottered around in the garden, I did a quick vacuum and when the roast was done we cleaned up, packed the food (roast, fruit, Chinese New Year love letters, wine) and joined the traffic crawl.

The last time we caught up in a similar fashion was back in May last year, when Micah had his full moon. 6 chek had spoken about his impending China trip with a lot of enthusiasm then. He was going to spend a few months in Fuzhou to do mission work. He was going to teach the scriptures and 6 chim was going to help him and also teach English. He sounded excited and even asked if me to consider coming along.

On Saturday though, he sounded less excited. I think he has now seen more and that made him think how people can work better there. He lived simply, did not eat well and saw heavy workload heaped on the local church minister. He was totally self funded too. He has been invited back but sounded less sure about going this time.

The arvo went past really quickly and we left just before 5.

Church the next day was good – Peter talked about the state of human depravity and touched on the gay marriage issue a bit, all in the context of Romans 1:18ff. I’m still wondering about how to serve and a presentation by Kids Hope Foundation participants was very good but it needed people to do work during school hours. Maybe continue to just be there on Sundays, small groups and Men’s breakfast for now, and see where the Lord leads.

After lunch at Madam K’s we went to Westfield Doncaster for a bit of shopping before returning home to watch “Salmon on the Yemen”.

It was another weekend before another week of grind at the wheel. The challenge would be to continue to be challenged, week after week of normal grind.

“Power”


It was a Chinese New Year weekend – it was the eve on Sunday and we had a nice little get together dinner at Gerry and Jesslyn’s newly renovated home. I had done a ribs barbie and Tress and made a fruit platter and there was plenty of food so it made for a very slow Monday at work the next day.

The weekend had been an ordinary one. The usual run of now familiar again activities was broken only by a nice breakfast at a cafe on Jolimont Street on the other side of Springvale. We had been there once before a couple of years or so earlier. After breakfast we went home, did some gardening (me) and laundry (Tress), got the food for Sunday, made some soups for the week, before settling down for an old movie – “Narrow Margins” starring Gene Hackman and Anne Archer. It was an old fashioned “thriller” played out mostly on a train ride up the east coast of Canada.

Church the next day started a Romans 1-7 series and it again got me thinking about what is it about the “life transformation” message of the gospel I’ve been missing out on. A piece on the gospel coalition site yesterday prompted that same question. Will it simply be about talking to others about Jesus and the gospel? I dont recall the last time I did that and I guess that should be disturbing.

I hope I dont lose this thread…

We watched bits of a program on TV last night. It was a documentary of the Anita Cobby killing and I said to Tress I recall sitting in a court in Sydney, trying to follow a murder trial for the first (and only) time in Australia, not long after commencing my law studies in UNSW. My Criminal Law lecturer had strongly encouraged us to attend the trial and so I dutifully went. I have to say I remember so very little now, even with the detailed re-telling of the events in the show last night.

30 year anniversary notwithstanding – the Cobby murder happened in February 1986 – I wonder how much of this has been prompted by the success of shows like “Making a Murderer” on Netflix. Tress and I had been transfixed for several nights by that show. I had been skeptical and found out that the producers (Moira Demos and Co) had not been totally open, and (according to the Wisconsin AG dept) key information have been kept from viewers. It was good TV nonetheless and I wonder if I ought to feel lousy for watching it simply for the entertainment value.

I have no doubt the whole Cobby murder trial had “entertainment value”, horrible as it may sound. The interviews, flashbacks, footage and re-enactments – while staples for documentaries, have all been given fresh focus by Making a Murderer and was so worthwhile as a venture for TV program makers. And we were happy consumers, until of course, we immerse ourselves in some other activities … such as telling others about Jesus?