I wonder what went through my late father’s mind on this day back in 1991. He was at the premises of the High Court of Malaya in Kuala Lumpur where I was being admitted to the Malaysian Bar. I wonder if he knew what was going through my mind and I don’t remember if I concerned myself with what was going through his mind on that day. I do now, today, all these years later.
I was a selfish young(er) man then. Much more than I am today. The selfish bit, especially, not just the youth bit. I should have thought more about what my parents’ states of minds were, much more than how much I was thinking about myself. Sure, I was broke, annoyed, in a hurry and generally just wanted to move on ahead. I did not like the immediate prospects that my parents presented me – they too, were broke and I believe, unhappy.
I was driving an early 70s Ford Escort that didn’t have air conditioning. I had bought myself a cheap suit for the occasion at the High Court. I was wearing brand new Bata shoes that cost, probably, around RM20. That was the last of my ringgit horde, having also spent a chunk on the robe and other expenses that accompanied the High Court event. I was then also too broke to attend the tea ceremony of a younger cousin’s wedding – I could not spare the “red packet” that would have been an obligatory presentation of an elder person, had I attended the ceremony. This cousin’s son will be married in January and Tress and I will be attending the wedding. I will remember what happened in late 1991, for a very long time. I would remain poor for the next year or so, for a number of reasons…
With all that, I guess I had good reasons to not be thinking about what my parents were thinking about, on 20 December 1991. Had I ignored those “reasons”, I might have found some soothing comforts that would continue to salve me today. Who knows. I wish I thought about them more.
It was a very nice weekend of catching up with old friends. On Friday night, we caught up with YC, someone we (particularly I), have known since I was a teenager. YC and I were both in the youth fellowship group of our local church in Klang. She went on to be a paediatric and married another doctor – a thoracic specialist, I believe. They have 2 children here in Melbourne so they visit pretty regularly. Once I was on a same flight as her husband and I gave him a ride from the airport to their children’s home in Caulfield. YC messaged me earlier on Friday arvo and I asked her to join Tress and I in our favourite local in Donvale. We caught up well and she shared her journey with us – her son has been facing challenges in his Masters’ course in Monash Uni and it has been quite a bumpy ride. They recently moved to Bentleigh East and when we gave her a ride home, we stopped by their new place, just on Warrigal Road.
On Saturday, we had a leisurely morning – sleeping in a little bit before taking the little fellow on a leisurely and a bit extended walk. Back from the walk, we drove as the crow flies, for Tress to pick up a toy for Abby. Tress recently joined a FB group where people offered up stuff that are no longer needed and the little toy that looked like a cockpit of a car, appears to be a wonderful toy. We then came back, and Tress did the vacuuming, giving the house a much needed cleaning. I tidied up the lawns – mowed, trimmed and swept, and then we went to lunch at Brendon Park before getting ready for another catch up with old friends in the city. King Ing and his family (his wife Lucy, and two adult children) had gone to Tassie for his daughter’s graduation. She finished medical school in Uni Tasmania and they came over to Melbourne for a short holiday. We hadn’t met them since we left uni in Sydney back in the late 80s’ so it has been over 30 years… they live and work in Singapore and we had a wonderful catch up, also taking in the Christmas decor that has lit up the city. We hadn’t been into the city for a while and it was certainly buzzing and it did feel like downtown Melbourne was already celebrating Christmas.
Yesterday at St Alf’s it was the third Sunday of Advent. Ben Clements, the new minister that replaced Mike McNamara, gave a wonderful sermon about the coming King. The text was on Manasseh, the king who turned badly against God and it contrasted with the faithful King that is Jesus. Ross had, earlier in the kids’ talk, spoken about Jesus who was born King. He gave a beautiful picture of a King’s bust made up of ice cream lids and it brought home the message well. Jesus was, from the moment he was born, King. He is, now, as Ben brought home so well, the coming King. It was a wonderful service that really heralded the coming true festivity of celebrating Christmas. It was terrific. Ben was a bit emotional at the end of his sermon and I think I get that. The songs we sang after, filled me with emotions too. I kept them in check of course, as always (often)…
After St Alf’s we headed to Donvale again, to have our final lunch for the year at our favourite joint. We bumped into Jason and Mel there, and Jason came to our table for a quick chat to say hello. Jason remarked that I looked “not myself” a few Fridays ago (!) when we caught up for dinner. I thought that was very strange, that he should have waited several weeks to tell me that when he could have asked me about it that night itself when we caught up. We had also met after that, together with Gerry and Jesslyn and he didn’t mention it that time either, so it was a very strange thing to say, after all these weeks. Part of me said maybe I was “not myself” because I had felt that catching up with him had felt underwhelming in recent times. I don’t believe he respects us/me, from the numerous signs and signals that he emits over the course of time, but these signals have sort of just washed past me like water off a duck’s back. They didn’t bother me much, and I still treasure our friendship, but I did feel the way I did – underwhelmed (maybe it’s the lack of generosity, maybe it’s the keeping and distribution of old unflattering pictures despite my requests, maybe it’s the annoying re gifting of kitsch that we get from them, maybe it’s… I don’t know…)
After lunch, we came home and as it was a gloriously sunny day, so I decided to oil the deck. I had bought the stuff for the job weeks ago, but it had been raining most weekends so I hadn’t had a chance for the job, until yesterday. So we “cleared the deck” of the furniture, plants and barbeque sets, hosed and scrubbed the flooring timber, and then applied the 2 coats of decking paint. Some 3 hours later, the deck looks far healthier and livelier. I’m just glad that this job, which had been sitting at the back of my mind for a little while, was finally done. Pity we’re not doing Christmas at our home…
As I rested my tired body last night, I thought of Ben’s sermon and that wonderful Advent service again. I am taught, again, that He is King. I need to live as though that is what matters. Again and for the umpteenth time, I wonder what is it I need to do in response. Come, Lord Jesus…
Summer is finally here, but no one would have thought it has arrived. It was more cold than warm on Friday, and i t bucketed down on Saturday, with the skies dark and gloomy. So, the “green” week of cleaning up the gardens etc., was written off and we did odds and bits instead. Tress went to a local post office to pick up a parcel, and then we went and did some grocery shopping before going to lunch. In the arvo, I did the week’s cook, noting that Sunday would clear up the skies and we decided I’d clean up the greens then.
On Sunday, at St Alfs, the mood was a bit about Peter’s resignation. He has been the senior minister/vicar for over 24 years. He has been the vicar for as long as we have been there. It was the first day of Advent and on the stage stood a stand that had a bouquet of flowers with 4 tall candles around it, signalling it was 4 weeks before Christmas. One was lit, marking the first Sunday of Advent. We also spoke with Siew, John’s wife, who told us about events leading to John’s retirement. He had been with Scriptures Union for 12 years.
First Sunday of Advent
After St Alf’s and our usual lunch at Donvale, we went back, let the boys out, and then headed to Bunnings to get a small trestle table. The plan is to use it for the Weber GA for the barbie we’d be having with our dog-owner friends from the off lead dog park across from our home. We’ve been having that each year and this year, due to a number of reasons, we decided to have a barbie amongst a smaller group.
After Bunnings, we headed home and I started on the work around the house – trimmed the James Sterling, edged and mowed the lawns, cleared some weeds on the edge of our front lawns neighbouring the eastern side and generally gave the whole outside a good tidying up. Tress too got busy clearing that corner where the lemon tree sits, getting rid of thorny branches. We finished well past 6pm but it still felt very nice because the sun was well up and the day has been gorgeous. I proceeded to put some stakes to provide a truss for the young tomatoes we had put in 2-3 weeks ago, and appear to be growing well. Again, finger crossed.
Later that night, the older boy was sitting at the far end of the couch I was on, and as he got up to scratch himself, fell off the couch onto the rug. He then convulsed, went into a fit, and started to foam at his mouth. We calmed him down, put a towel under him and caressed him. After about 20 minutes, he settled down and tried to stand up on his own but his legs were obviously very weak. He went to sleep and later as we took him into the bedroom, he stood up again to walk in circles, so I took him out and waited for him to do his business – he struggled to stay on his feet and after a little while, I took him back in and he then settled down to sleep. Tress and I have been thinking if this is the beginning of his end. It’s the second time in 3-4 weeks he has had an “episode”. Our senior furry friend is still ever lovable and for now, I’m just grateful that he sleeps in his bed next to me in my home office.
On Friday night, we had had dinner with Jason and Mel. We had booked a local Thai for just the 2 of us but then Jason messaged us and we changed it to a 4 person night out. Jason and Mel had been on a long break – visiting their daughter in Hong Kong, visiting extended family in Malaysia, dropping by Singapore and having a tour in Turkey. So the catch up was very good, having not seen them for a while. They continue to hover between 2 churches, having “recently” moved away from the one that meets in a shopping centre in Doncaster towards City Life. It sounded like they are still straddling both churches. For us, we’ve been in St Alfs for over 10 years now, and even with Peter leaving next year, we’re likely to remain here. Ross did a “Kids Talk” which focused on the theme of us doing ordinary things, living ordinary lives, that allow God to tell his extraordinary story. This morning too, Tim Keller’s podcast talked about Martha and Mary. Mary did an “ordinary” thing of simply sitting at Jesus’ feet and that was the more precious action. Chugging along in our “ordinary lives” has been what I have said to myself is what we are about. Restless as I often am, maybe that (Ross’s message and Mary’s choice) is a lesson I need to nail down.
Tress and I used to look forward to our Friday night dinners at a local joint. It’s our “TGIF” time to wind down and start the weekend. Lately however, we haven’t really found a place we like so we’ve been just cooking at home a bit more. I’m not sure how much this has to do with my self imposed no-alcohol lifestyle; maybe the increasingly pricey offerings of the nicer places also has something to do with the more “stay at home” celebrations.
So last Friday night, we cooked a couple of little lobster tails that I picked up from a local Aldi store a few days earlier. Lynn, our friend from the dog park, had told us about it – she had bought 6 packets (of 2 tails each) for her family Christmas lunch. We threw in a couple of veges and cooked it all on the Weber Q. It was a nice stay-at-home TGIF.
Saturday morning, we did our usual thing of a lazy brekky at home and an extended walk for the little fellow, and then Tress had a hairdresser appointment. I ducked out to Bunnings to get ready to oil the deck. The weather forecast however, had predicted rain so while I was all geared up, I didn’t get to start on the task, which has to wait for a little bit. I did also however, pick up a new yard broom and pan set, along with a chilli plant which I introduced to the other inhabitants of our little vege patch. Fingers crossed they would all flourish.
Around midday, we took the older boy to Heather, another friend from the dog park, who is also a dog sitter and groomer, for a good scrub. Little LBJ has been very disoriented lately. He’s 15 now and his feet are starting to weaken too. This, along with his other ailments and woes. Yesterday, as we walked at the dog park, we chatted with both Heather and Lynn and Heather thought we should start to think about sending LBJ away – she thinks his (LBJ’s) quality of life has deteriorated very badly. I agree, his quality of life hasn’t been so flash, but every time I carry him, I can sense his affection and his wanting to be near us. He is very much pushing on and I don’t think I can, at this point in time, contemplate sending him off just yet.
Yesterday at St Alf’s after the usual service, there was the annual AGM. Numerous nominations for roles in the council and a committee came in so there as a voting process, and the candidates/nominees introduced themselves that included brief descriptions of their backgrounds. They all sounded so impressive. A prominent retired doctor. a very prominent lawyer, accountants, scientists, seasoned missionaries and CEOs of missions organisations – they all stack up to suggest St Alf’s is loaded with talent. My vote however, went to those I thought would be channels of God’s own work. God doesn’t need worldly talents or qualifications. He is far better than all that and it is who He is and His work that matters. I hope that works. There was also an “invest for the future” thing where we were asked to contribute to some capital/building works and beefing up of ministries over the next few years. I thought we’d do our share and the report of Bill the treasurer appears to be very positive.
After St Alf’s, Tress and I drove down towards Syndal for lunch. It had been raining the whole morning and that busy stretch of shops on Blackburn Road just before Syndal station, saw a car turn into a parking lot quite suddenly. The car behind it applied the emergency brake and we were right behind it so I too, did likewise and stopped in time. The car behind me however, did not and collided into our rear. The damage is minimal so I wasn’t too fussed, although the pain of engaging with the insurer company and their panel of repair folks beckons, which pained me.
We continue to enjoy the streams of pictures and video clips that came our way from up north. Abby continues to grow so well and each clip just warms my heart and makes me look forward to the next time we can be with them/her again. At the moment, that’s just under 4 weeks. Yesterday, I mentioned to Mike, another dog park friend of ours, that it’s only 4 weeks to Christmas. That startled me but yes, I have been counting down. Sure, I love Christmas but the countdown was more about framing time around when we’d be with our Canberran family again. It’s less than 4 weeks now… not quite an Advent like event I know, but I am very much looking forward to it all the same.
It was another weekend of greens tidying. So while Tress gave the house a good vacuuming, I wend outside and did the lawns, trimmed the camellias and tidied up the outside generally. All through that, my foot ached with a swell/inflammation that has plagued me each time I’ve had my B12 injections in recent months. Hopefully the one I had about a week and a half ago would be the last and my foot would be free from this pain.
It was also a weekend of clearing up some stuff for a hard waste collection we booked. The main thing to go was the last remaining piece of an old sofa we bought when we first moved to Melbourne. That piece has been retained solely for the doggies, as they sit and look into the parkland/oval across the road. With the new piece Tress picked up last week, that old tattered piece now sits on the nature strip, along with some other odds and ends, including a couple of very old stereo sets and speakers.
Well other than discarding old stuff, I also planted some new seedlings. We picked up some tomato (beef steaks no less) and chilli seedlings on Saturday morning from a local seller just off Blackburn Road, and planed them into the veg plot we had prepped a couple of weeks back, with compost and ridding of weeds etc. Fingers crossed the plants would flourish.
With the house freshly cleaned and some old furniture out the door, the house felt a touch fresh. It’s the end of spring now, and while it is still cool most days, we’ve had stretches of warm days to remind us summer’s just around the corner. I can’t wait for it to come, as it’d mean we’d be closer to when we can go up and see Kiddo, Abby and Mic again. Seeing them always makes me feel fresh and renewed, even when my foot is plagued with post B12 pains.
When I was in uni back in some Jurassic age, one of the weekly events I looked forward to the most was the Campus Bible Study. Phillip Jensen, the UNSW Chaplain then, was a terrific teacher. His weekly lessons provided me with such a foundational instruction that I believe much of what I understand today can be traced back to those lessons. I believe I still have folders of handouts where I scribbled tiny notes to fill out each week’s edition.
Nearly 30 years hence, I had a chance – literally a front row seat opportunity – to listen to what campus ministry can mean for uni students. On Saturday arvo, Tress and I drove up to Hawthorn and met some folks in a park. We chatted with some people, and then took a walk to Swinburne Uni. We were there to have a taste of what the AFES ministry – one we have been coming alongside a fellow St Alf member for a little while – looks like. Lauren and Amy took us through what they did, and then Lauren lead a bunch of current and ex students in sharing about their experience of campus ministry.
I am a believer in campus ministry again. It has been such a long hiatus and even though I know it is important work (that was why we have decided to support it), that knowledge is more head knowledge than anything else. Saturday provided some very meaningful new dimensions and I believe this will be a meaningful ministry to invest more effort and resource into. I hope that works out.
Earlier that morning, after walking the little guys, Tress and I came home and worked on the gardens. I got some compost out of the compost bin, and prepped the little vege patch. We don’t know yet what we’d put in this year but that patch is now prepped and ready for new plants to go in. Tress had also bought a second hand single sofa seat to replace the tattered double-seater that the dogs have used as their day beds and lookout points for many years. It was one of the first pieces of furniture I picked up when we moved into our Mount Waverley rental nearly 20 years ago now. That piece now sits in the deck, waiting for a hard rubbish collection in the next 10 days or do. The “new” single seater now looks better in that spot the tattered piece used to be. It looks inviting for us humans to also go and sit and look out into the parklands across the road. Tress did well with this buy.
On Sunday, a new minister got commissioned. Mike had left fro a while now and we hadn’t had a replacement until now. Ben Clements and his lovely young family were introduced and I hope things work out just as well as Mike and his family did.
Over the weekend. Kiddo and Mic sent pics and video clips of Abby and Nicole and Jon. Nicole and Jon are visiting in Canberra and it looked like little Abby has taken to them really well. It is so rewarding to see that little girl warming up to, and engaging with people who, in my mind and not so long ago, were little people themselves. We also received a draft family tree together with a simple write up of my late grandfather’s stories, that were sent by Liza my cousin, to the wider family WhatsApp group. Abby, Nic and Jon, that family tree and write-up, all provided a context as well as an anchor, to create a joy that is very satisfying. I need to also engage with AFES/campus ministry work to add another dimension to that joy.
Tress and I dropped the little guys at Heather’s on Saturday morning, and then headed to Tullamarine. We’d booked ourselves into a Rex flight up to Canberra, having decided to leave the furry friends and the car behind. We parked at the T4 car park, which was full and we had to park all the way up on the uncovered top floor. Once we got into the terminal, we got ourselves a quick bite of lunch and then boarded the flight, en route to see little Abby and her parents again.
We got in a bit after 1.30pm, and it was wonderful to see all of them again. Little Abby look as beautiful and sweet as we remember her, and her parents look sleep deprived… It took a little while for the sweetie to warm up to us, and I was very contented to just “speak” to her on that first day of being reacquainted, without any attempts for any physical contact.
The next four days were a bliss. Spending loads of time with people you care about a lot, and seeing a little infant grow into a 7 1/2 months little wonder, brought loads of smiles. We did lots of eating, lots of walking, and just being around them constantly. I thoroughly enjoyed and cherished this trip.
I’d been reading again, albeit on the kindle, and I have to thank Michael Gawenda for that. His book that came out just before Hamas attacked Israel on 7 Oct, was such a timely read for me that I quickly finished it and I’m now enjoying his work on the biography of Mark Leibler, the prominent Melbourne lawyer that leads Arnold Bloch Leibler (“ABL”). Some years ago (while in Superpartners, I think) I heard someone describe that firm as a rottweiler, cementing its reputation as an aggressive practice that I had heard about before. I also heard about it being a Jewish firm that served wealthy Jewish businessmen in Melbourne. So to read Michael Gawenda writing about this, and the protagonists roles in the Jewish community in Melbourne as well as Australia generally, has been a gripping ride.
We got back yesterday arvo around 4pm, and headed straight to Heather’s to pick up the boys. Last night as I played with the little furry fellow, I found myself missing little Abby. It’d be a a few weeks before we see her again. That’ll be another treat. Somehow, visiting Abby, Kiddo and Mic while reading about ABL and the Jewish community Down Under, has proven a yummy mix…
Ante 