“Tua Kor” literally means “Big Aunt”. Her name is Swee Lian, and she is the eldest of my grandparents’ children. She now has dementia, and lives in ah aged care home in PJ, Malaysia. Her children appear to be clearing up stuff from her home in Klang. Cindy, her youngest, sent a couple of pictures yesterday. They’re pictures of an “aerogram” letter I sent “Tua Kor” and her late husband, Dr. Lian, some 40 years ago!
It was the Lunar New Year on Saturday. It’s the “year of the dragon”, which means my brother turns 60 and a couple of my uncles turn 72. A few of my cousins turn either 36 or 48 (probably more 36 than 48), but there lies the best part of the Chinese zodiac – it’s utilitarian feature of letting one know how old one is, almost instantaneously…
It’s not often we get a LNY falling on a Saturday or Sunday, so when it does, we make the most of it. Melbourne has more and more Chinese calling it home now, but it hasn’t quite reached a level where the LNY is a public holiday. So when it falls on a weekday, we don’t do anything.
Other than having it fall on a Saturday, this year also saw Nicole, my niece, settling in Melbourne so Tress and I made an occasion of it and invited her, Ruth and family and a few of Nic’s colleagues and friends over. Tress and I cooked on Saturday, and served a few classic LNY dishes – a braised pork and mushroom dish, which we adorned with some abalones, a whole fish, a soup and a side dish of veg, along with a couple of store bought dishes (a roast duck and a salt baked chook). All in, it was quite a feast and when the guests have all left, Tress and I spent a fair bit of time packing away the leftovers for our lunches this week. This, after those colleagues of Nic’s have packed some to go too. They’re all young single adults who work long hours (they’re all doctors) so home cooked food is always welcomed, I suppose. Ruth, Jon and Micah trekked from Woodend and only left close to 10pm, which meant they only got home close to midnight, so that was an effort to catch up, which I appreciated very much. It is always good to see them.
Tress and I stayed up late that night, as we cleaned and tidied the house, putting away the numerous loads of dishes etc., and battled with the dishwasher – the 16+ year old moaning machine that is increasingly temperamental. We went to bed way past midnight and with it being a warm night, we also had some mozzies for company, which made it a restless one.
On Sunday at St Alf’s we said farewell to Ross, the children and family minister. He had been on staff for 9 years and has done a wonderful job and it was a very emotional goodbye. It was a hot day, and we came home for some leftover foods (thus continuing another LNY tradition) before Tress went and visited an ex-colleague of hers at the Peter James rehab centre down the road from our home. Kym had been unwell since Nov last year but Tress only found out about a week ago, and she’d been to see her a couple of times. It sounded like Kym’s kids appreciated that very much, as they only lost their dad not too long ago and to have their mum now succumb to a serious illness is such a terrible blow to these young folks.
We went to bed relatively early, having turned on the air conditioning to deal with another warm night. Summer is in its last rounds but the heat appears to be just cranking up. It’d be 37 deg today and will be in the high 30’s tomorrow as well. Thankfully, I slept like a baby last night… hopefully the “year of the dragon” wouldn’t be too restless…
Our niece, Sim’s daughter, is now in Melbourne. Nic will live and work here, at least for a little while – perhaps the next couple of years and hopefully much longer after that. It’s just a wonderful feeling to have a close family member based much closer to us now. So, on Friday night, we caught up for dinner with her and Jon, her beau. We went to the Red House in Scoresby, after which we came home for a bit of a chat before they left for home, which is now a mere 20+ minutes away. We’d be having them over again in a few days, for a Chinese New Year thing.
On Saturday, Tress and I walked the little fella, before attending to some house chores. We had a fair bit to do and limited time too, as there was to be a family catch up in Wonga Park later that arvo. So Tress vacuumed and cleaned the house while I mowed, trimmed and cleared some undergrowth, and tidied up the nature strip. We finished just before 1pm, and hurriedly cleaned up and made our way to the family party. Tress’ aunt and her family bought a sprawling property a couple of years ago. They invited the family over for a pre-Chinese New Year soiree and it was lovely. We caught up with all the aunties, uncles and cousins, etc.. It was particularly good to see Adam again. We left at about 4.30pm, as the little fella had been registering his anxieties and protests on the Furbo… we got back and took him to the oval (his favourite place) for a run around with his friends.
On Sunday, after St Alf’s we reacquainted ourselves with our favourite Sunday lunch spot at Donvale, where we also bumped into Jason and Mel. Jason later came over and intimated that he missed our Friday night catch ups. Later, I sent him a picture of our dinner with Nic and Jon, I guess to say that was what we did that kept us from a Friday night catch up. We had also been in and out of town recently, so maybe we can catch up again before too long. After lunch, we went to The Glen to meet Auntie Pin, who was to deliver some CNY cookies we had ordered from her. She was meant to bring them to the Sat arvo soiree but with Adam, his carer and wheelchair, the vehicle ran out of space. She also recounted to us, further medical episodes that Adam went through before Christmas. My heart ached when I listened to her telling us the incidents. Auntie Pin has been tremendously strong for her family; she remains a positive and lovely human being.
While at the Glen, I went to an ATM and got my card swallowed up by the machine. I rang the bank immediately and after the usual lengthy wait time, the person who attended to my call turned out to be very helpful. Hopefully I get a replacement card soon, as the increasing bank fees for card usage has meant many retailers and hospitality outlets have gone back to a cash preferred mode of transacting. It was a hot day (hottest day so far this summer) so we bumped into many friends and acquaintances at the Glen, who no doubt were seeking refuge from the heat.
We came home after a few hours, and started cooking the week’s lunches, We hadn’t done that for a few weeks and at Red House on Friday night, we had picked up some char siew, and I made some fried rice with it. We should be set for the week.
A routine of sorts has returned. It had been a great weekend of catching up with people we love to spend time with, and doing stuff we enjoy – stuff that fills our days while we’re at what John Lennon might have said “busy making other plans” (cue “Beautiful Boy”).
26 Jan is a public holiday – Australia Day, contentious as it has been in recent years, remains the official day where we remember the origin of modern Australia. Tress and I took a day off on the 25th, and we went up to Canberra.
We left the little guy with Heather at about 9.30am, and drove to Tullamarine to catch the flight up to see Kiddo, Mic and little Abby. We arrived just after 2pm, went to lunch at the old parliament house, after which we stayed there for Abby to play in a warm and homey playroom there. That night, Kiddo cooked a barbie dinner for us.
The next day, we went to the arboretum. It was a cloudy day but there was some wind about and kids and adults alike were flying colourful kites when we arrived. The National Arboretum has become a beautiful place. Back when Kiddo first went to Canberra for ANU, it had just started to be planted. 11-12 years hence, it has become an attraction that for me, is a must visit for folks visiting Canberra. It is probably the best thing Julia Gillard did for Canberra. We walked around, soaked in the almost carnival like busy atmosphere, and then had lunch at the cafe. Later that arvo, we went to Belconnen after Mic took a wrong turn – we had wanted to go into the Canberra Centre in the city. That wrong turn turned out to be fortuitous (serendipitous?) for me, as the Myer store there had a great deal for Levis jeans and I picked up a black pair that I think I can use for work. Being at my present workplace after 2+ years has watered down my work garb. I now dress much more casually, probably also as a post covid thing. Still, wearing blue jeans may be a tad too casual so I thought a black pair would be a safe compromise. Tress, Kiddo and Mic also all picked up stuff at Belconnen (it’s a Westfield mall). That night, Mic cooked us dinner – a congee that we all enjoyed, not least little Abby.
On Saturday, we caught up with Mic’s parents. They had asked to meet when they found out we were visiting, and we had waited to line something up as we wanted to fit into whatever Kiddo and Mic were planning. We met at the club at Woden – the Chinese restaurant that has become a convenient meeting place for this catch up. I tried to be social and by and large, enjoyed the occasion, but I must say I often feel uncomfortable in their presence. Maybe one day I will distil why this is. Later that night, we caught the ladies tennis final of the Australian Open, where a certain Ms Zheng from China, played and lost to a Belarusian. Zheng is the first finalist since Li Na, and we tried to barrack for her but her opponent was far too strong.
On Sunday, we attended Kido and Mic’s church at the Namadji School. Southside Bible Church is a conservative church, and we have attended there numerous time – every time we’re in Canberra. We left later that arvo. Kiddo, Mic and little Abby came with us to the airport. We got home just before 6pm, after picking up the little guy from Heather’s. It has been a wonderful trip. Seeing Abby grow up and her parents continuing to work hard and do well in being wonderful parents, has been so very rewarding. It made me sleep so well last night, with a “body battery” measurement of a perfect 100% this morning. I am in a good place right at this moment.
It was our first weekend without the older fella. I had said to Tress that of the 16+ years we’ve lived in our present home, LBJ had been with us for over 15 years. So, the home was going to feel a tad different without him around. His pitter-patter footsteps, particularly in his younger days. His distinct smell. His presence permeated our home, which we continue to live in, without his shadow ghosting in and out every now and then. I continue to miss him.
On Friday night, Tress and I had a steak night at home. I got us a couple of steaks, which I cooked on the Weber GA. That smoky flavour added to the juicy and tasty experience and coupled with the thoughts that we weren’t splurging on an expensive restaurant meal, the TGIF dinner was particularly sweet. On Saturday, we took the younger fella on the usual weekend walk – a tad extended – after which we went to pick up some groceries to trial a Chinese New Year dish. Nicole and her cohort will be in Melbourne in about a week or so, and we’ve asked her to come over for a meal, along with the folks from Woodend, whom we haven’t seen for a while. So we had to think about what to prepare and decided to trial a dish or two on Saturday.
We went to a place in Knox for lunch – somewhere we hadn’t been before – before going to pick up the groceries, and then to just spend time resting. It was a nice quiet and restful Saturday, for a change.
On Sunday, at St Alf’s, we saw that Joyce was playing the piano. She was newish and we had attended her wedding in September last year. It was wonderful to see her getting into the thick of things at St Alf’s. It made me think further about what 2024 would look like for me at St Alf’s. I felt conflicted – on the one hand I thought I wanted to do more but on the other hand, I am quite contented to just drift along. I know that’s probably less than ideal but I get this sense that something needs to happen with me internally before the service thing happends. I don’t know what, so I’d probably just sit it out and “be a Mary” a tad longer. After St Alf’s we went to our usual Donvale place for lunch, and then we went home. We then took the little fella to the oval for a runaround before I started to cook the dish we had thought about for CNY – a pork rib dish that is braised with Chinese spiced sauce. It turned out ok, albeit saltier than we would have liked. Tress went for a hairdresser appointment and while waiting for the dish to cook in a slow cooker pot, I walked the younger fella again, this time across the oval to the soccer field to take in a youth soccer game. That little guy ran around the “3rd oval” while I watched bits of the game, before I took him home to attend to the cooking. When Tress got back, and after I was done with the cleaning up etc., we went to the oval again, where the little guy had yet another walk.
I wonder if these extra walks and attention to the little guy is a way of me compensating for the loss of LBJ.
It’s harder than I thought. Maybe I’ve become soft with age. More likely however, he’s been a special companion for a little while. He rode shotgun with me, up and down the Hume, when I worked in Canberra. We explored the paths and trails in the hood together, occasionally over a long trek. We journeyed much together.
I miss him already. Heaps. I feel much sadness.
Goodbye, Scruff.
Today, we say goodbye to Scruffi, aka LBJ. You’ve journeyed more with me than any other furry friend I have ever had.
Fare thee well…
Fare thee well! thus disunited,
Torn from every nearer tie.
Seared in heart, and lone, and blighted,
More than this I scarce can die.
We had been away from just before Christmas Eve and only came back middle last week. So, the house has been unattended and it shows. The house is dusty with cobwebs in a number of corners and crevices and the lawns are overgrown, with leaves, twigs and debris of all kind building up on the driveway and everywhere. So Tress and I spent most of Saturday cleaning up.
Before the cleanup however, we went to a local Chinese restaurant on Friday night for a quick dinner, after I had taken LBJ to the vet (more of that later, see below). After dinner, we went back, and binged on an Amazon Prime series till midnight. So we slept in a little bit on Saturday before taking the younger one for a walk and then headed back for the cleanup. I needed some stuff from Bunnings however, and when I went in there, I indulged in the classic Bunnings snag on a slice of white bread…
After hours of cleaning up, Tress ducked out to get some takeaway lunch from our favourite Saturday spot at Brandon Park, and we had a very late lunch (well past 3pm). The house felt clean and fresh as we finally put our feet up, after cleaning ourselves up and walking the little fellow at the oval, later that night. Our thoughts soon turned to LBJ again.
As soon as we had put our feet up, LBJ left his bed and promptly went into another fit. These seizure have become more frequent. It happened twice last week which was why I took him to the vet last Friday. Dr Jason thinks there’s a tumour that is causing the neurological messing around that has caused the seizures. That he has been walking in circles with a cocked head, were typical symptoms. We discussed options, including end of life care. I got back and talked to Tress, and thought if he went into another seizure anytime soon, we’d give it a serious thought. That was Friday night. That Saturday night seizure told us something. Late that night, he got up, had another of his accidental wee and then cried and whined before I cradled and caressed him back to sleep.
I am ringing Dr Jason’s office shortly to ask for an appointment…
Tress and I returned from Canberra on the 1st of Jan. We went back to work for a couple of days, and then flew out to Perth. Ryan, the eldest of Andrew (my cousin) and Jasmine, was to marry Hannah. Andrew and his family have lived in Perth for a very long time. Ryan and Hannah met in London when they were both working there. I was in awe when I found out that Hannah, who was from Brissie, had wanted the wedding to be in Perth so that Ryan’s grandparents (Jasmine’s folks) could be there for the occasion. Like Andrew said in his father of the groom speech, the bride was a gem and we’re all glad Ryan didn’t stuff it up and the beautiful couple tied the knot.
The wedding was in an Anglican church in Dalkeith (St Lawrence), which was as the crow flies from the Air B and B place we stayed in Nedlands. Andrew and his family’s home is also in Nedlands, so everyone was just a few minutes away. We were all close to the beautiful Matilda Bay off the Swan River, so Tress and I started each day with a walk along the shores of the Bay. On the second day, we discovered a bakery up the road which was very good, so on the last few days, we finished our walk by stopping there for a coffee and a bite. It was idyllic and we threw caution to the wind as far as extra kilos were concerned, as we enjoyed the offerings from the kitchen of that bakery.
Other than Andrew, Jasmine and Ryan along with Haydn and Kirstyn (Andrew and Jasmine’s other kids), we also caught up with my uncle Tom and auntie Pauline, my cousins Pai Li, Carol, and HW, SL and Chris (Pai Li’s and Carol’s husbands) as well as Emily, our niece (or sorts – she’s the eldest of Liza and Sam). Hannah’s family flew in from Brissie, Sydney, Wollongong etc., so the occasion had people from Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong, UK, and all over Oz., congregating in the capital city of WA.
It was a wonderful visit for Tress and I. We also caught up with Andrew Chan and Dot his wife, along with their 2 boys, at a dinner with Carol and Chris. They were people we knew from church back in Klang (“KCMC”), and Carol is a cousin of mine. We heard the beautiful miracles that were the stories of those 2 boys, as well as the providential assurances that accompanied Andrew and Dot’s journey from Melbourne to Perth.
Other than the catch up’s Tress and I also got to visit Rottnest Island and see those beautiful quokkas, and played tourists in WA. A small part of me wondered if Kiddo, Mic and little Abby might one day make Perth their home. I think Tress and I would relocate to join them there at the drop of a hat.
We finished work for the year, on Friday 22 December. The next day, Tress and I drove up to Canberra. We were to spend little Abigail’s first Christmas there.
On Christmas Eve, we attended the service at Southside Bible Church, which Kiddo and Mic have been attending for a little while. They left Crossroads to be ready for their new lives and they have settled well at SBC, warts and all. After the service, we went to lunch with the Koh’s where we caught up with Desmond and SL, along with a few of Mic’s sibblngs.
On Christmas Day, I did the usual turkey. The Kohs turned up to join along and promptly took over the occasion. Tress and I were just outnumbered, and I was very happy to just soak up the atmosphere of a large family over a Christmas lunch.
Mic and Kiddo got us a Skylight smart photo frame. It’s one of those newfangled apparatus where it doesn’t just hold digital photos for display, but with an app, one can upload photos from afar, to be displayed on the frame that sits on a shelf anywhere in the world. Obviously, it is meant to hold and display photos of little Abigail and the frame now takes pride of place on a corner shelf in our lounge room.
A couple of days later, we – all 5 of us along with our doggies – packed our bags and drove to the coast. We had booked a property at Burrill Lake, as the crow flies from Ulladulla. It is a beautiful home, with loads of spacious areas. I particularly like the very large deck that sits atop stilts, surrounded by tall gum trees which meant the fauna was fantastic. Right through the 4-5 days we were there, we heard kookaburras cackling incessantly, to accompany the cacophony of other callings from birds, insects and other creatures. Unfortunately it rained half the time we were there, but when the sun came out, it was beautiful. We walked to the lake nearby, to the beaches a touch further out, and drove to Ulladulla, Mollymook and Milton little towns that were hugged by the beautiful NSW south coast. Little Abigail had her first beach outing at Burrill Beach, when the sun appeared on the second day to light up a glorious morning.
We also ate out a lot. The cafes and restaurants in Burrill Lake, Ulladulla, Mollymook and Milton were all very good and we indulged ourselves. The large deck at the property we stayed in, with the beautiful surroundings and fresh airy conditions, were only used the first day, when Mich got us some fish and chips soon after we arrived. I spent each morning reading there, but we didn’t make full use of it otherwise.
We returned to Canberra and went out for dinner on New Year’s Eve at a Japanese restaurant in Canberra city. Little Abigail caught a fever but did not complain too much. She’s just a lovely, tranquil and engaging little thing. Tress really took to her and all that attention was returned in spades and Little Abigail had loads of fun with her grandma.
We left Canberra on New Year’s Day, after a breakfast at a cafe near their home. We got back to Melbourne late arvo, unpacked, set up the fancy photo frame and I then took the little fellow to the oval for a bit of a run around. He was a bit subdued however, and wanted to come back to be with Tress. Later that evening, we put up feet up in the lounge room, caught up with photos etc., and felt immense gratitude for the wonderful Christmas and New Year’s that we had with Kiddo, Mic and Little Abigail.
Ante 