Category: Walking With God

Laughing at Methodists


I was brought up in a Methodist church. So, I’m allowed to laugh at this. An extract:

“We make fun of Methodists for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed, and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like them….If you were to ask an audience in New York City, a relatively Methodistless place, to sing along on the chorus of ‘Michael row your boat ashore’ they would look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear. But if you do this with Methodists, they’d smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! And down the road!”

And this:

‘Methodists believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.”

And this, because I often find myself doing it:

“Methodists will usually follow the official liturgy, and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins….You know you are a Methodist if when you watch Star Wars and they say ‘May the Force be with you,’ you instinctively respond ‘And also with you.’”

This one, because I was reminded that I didnt want to feel guilty:

“Methodists feel guilty if they don’t stay to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.”

Finally:

“You know you are a Methodist when it takes at least ten minutes to say goodbye!”

The last bit isnt always true. Bye.

Prayer of Jabez? Hmmm


The B family worships in our church. S, the daughter, has been working in Adelaide for over a year and this morning, she was in church. She was going to travel overseas for a bit before coming back to Melbourne again so the church had her out in the front this morning, for prayers. J, S’s mom, prayed for her and one of the phrases used was to “expand her territory”. This was an obvious reference to the prayerof Jabez in I Chronicles 4:10, which has become a bit of a trendy thing for believers of the prosperity gospel or variations of it. Bruce Wilkinson’s book of the same title was much trumpted, even in my previous church in Klang and for a while, many in that church openly prayed that prayer and no one batted an eyelid (or opened an eye…)

I have been having trouble with the prosperity gospel for many years now. The obvious examples were Job and Lazarus.The example of Job may be a bit problematic in that he eventually came good and God blessed him in even greater terms than he started out with but what about Lazarus? He died a sick and hungry pauper. There are numerous articles (see for example, this, this or this one) on the problems with this branch of the prosperity gospel and I hope those who promotes this line of teaching read and think a little more about it.

What Now, Choc Cow?


I am so depressed I do not know how to feel. Theresa, as usual, has been the gem of a wife and tried to be a pillar of support. She tried to assure me God cares. All I could think of is, yeah right. For the past, what, 2 years now, I have done little except asking God to provide strength and purpose. I asked for little else. So much so that it took Sunday sermons for me to ask God for more. My mistake. Those speakers were donkeys. God cares? Maybe. He sure has a weird way of showing it though. 2 hours before Sharyl called, Alex Lim, a good friend who is still in Malaysia, called. He said he simply wanted to see how I was doing. We prayed over the phone. I felt good after that. For 2 hours. I still feel like it was a damned sick joke on God’s part. I am now in that part of hell I was in almost 2 years ago, when ANZ called. 2 valleys in 2 years. Troughs in between. Damned deep and filthy ones. God cares? I hate to see what happens when he stops caring.

“So, I commend the enjoyment of life.” (From the Bible – really. Eccl 8:15)