Apparently the tennis last night went on forever. I wonder if it was Novak’s strategy to cement his place in Melbourne and overcome the love otherwise reserved for Rafa, Federer or anyone local. In any case, I’m glad (in a way) the matches we watched on Friday night didn’t go quite as long. We watched Berdych beat an Austrian (Melzer) in straight sets and then sat through the painful spectacle of seeing Stosur and a young bloke called Saville, being thumped by Mirza, who appeared to be a popular Indian, and Bryan – her very likeable American partner. Thankfully it ended quickly too so we were home by about 11.30pm.

We slept in a little bit on Sat then went to the Station Street Café in Nunawading. It was then the usual rounds of dry cleaners and grocery. Other than to Forest Hill Chase for our usual fruits and veg shop, we drove up Canterbury Road to the Asian grocery shop, where I wanted to check out their stock of pork ribs. They didn’t have any so I just got chicken and Tress got her salmon from there too. We were going to cook for a dinner at Jason and Mel’s that night.

Back home after all the chores and errands, Kiddo waited for her mates who were coming to the house. Tress and I did some work in the garden – we had planned to get rid of a large plant in front of our bedroom window. It was one of 3 New Zealand flax, which was crowding out the little space outside our window and we wanted to add something smaller with more colour.

Near the end of the job I realised we needed a good hoe to get rid of the stumpy bits and the roots. We didn’t have one so it had to wait. We then got ready for a 2pm appointment with some friends for coffee at their home.

Jonathan and Carrie moved to Melbourne from Malaysia early last year and we met and got to know them a little bit as they lived just a few streets near our home. They bought a new place towards the end of last year and had moved in, so we visited them on Sat arvo. They also invited a couple of other families so there we all were – migrants from Malaysia and Singapore all getting to know each other. It’s our ninth year here in Melbourne and spending the arvo with these relatively new comers (ranging from 1-3+ years) made us think about our earlier years here.

We left close to 4pm, and started cooking when we got home. Jason and Mel as usual, had a large group there. There were about 5families there and everyone sat down to a good meal and lusty conversations.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t meet again the next day in church – we went to another church as usual, and while the rawness may have rounded off a little, it was still a sore point to head to another – new – church on Sunday mornings. The pain lingers on.

I had wanted to give the browning lawn a bit of watering on Sunday morning but an injured bird on the lawn forced an unplanned visit to the RSPCA to drop that bird off. We then headed to Edge Church again and then went to Madam Kwong’s at Box Hill for lunch and stopped by Bunnings on the way home, to get the hoe I needed to finish off the job. We got rid of the plant altogether, and then whiled away the rest of the day – including giving Scruffi a couple of walks, first with Tress and I and then with Kiddo.

I’ve just read the below article from the Christianity Today website, and it really is an issue that would not go away anytime soon…

Is there more to it than simply saying it is a sin and like all other sins, we love the sinner but do not stop calling it a sin, or take extensive steps to help the sinners continue to sin?

I need to understand the basis of all these views a lot better…

Hope for the Gay Undergrad

More and more groups connected with Christian colleges openly reach out to students with same-sex attractions.

Allison J. Althoff

When Jordan enrolled in Wheaton College in Illinois, he wouldn’t admit to himself that he was attracted to other men. Raised in a conservative Baptist church and a student at a conservative Christian college, Jordan (who asked that his real name not be used) hesitated to identify with the gay community, which he perceived as flamboyant and sex-obsessed. He attempted to ignore what was in opposition to his Christian beliefs.

"I would sit in Wheaton’s prayer chapel, staring at the cross, and beg God to please just let me be attracted to girls," Jordan said. "I used to pray for it every day: ‘Heal me!’?"

Jordan waited for a chapel series at college, a sermon at the Anglican church he attended, or a fateful meeting with that one person who would change his orientation. "I just thought I’d naturally be attracted to a girl and get married—everyone says that’s what happens," he said.

When that didn’t happen, Jordan was faced with the dilemma of addressing his same-sex attraction as a student at a school that prohibits any sexual activity outside of heterosexual marriage. Jordan and others like him point to the recent experience of Wesley Hill, a Wheaton alum, professor at Trinity School for Ministry in Ambridge, Pennsylvania, and author of Washed and Waiting, as one example of a gay Christian’s choice to live in celibacy to address same-sex attraction.

‘Celibacy is a hard choice, and if churches are not willing to hold it up as an honorable pursuit and support it with practices of friendship and hospitality, I’m not sure it will seem viable to many sexual minorities.’—Wesley Hill, authorLeaders at Christian colleges and universities around the country told Christianity Today their schools are rethinking the way they address the needs of these students on campus. Recently, Wheaton’s administration provided forums for dialogue about human sexuality and encouraged students to be more open about their experience. "I’m very hopeful for the current climate at Wheaton," said dean of student care Melanie Humphreys. "There is always someone wrestling with this. But they need to feel a sense of community—this issue won’t be resolved at arm’s length."

Students from several Christian colleges who spoke with CT said behavioral codes, which often forbid homosexual behavior in addition to alcohol and tobacco consumption, sex outside of marriage, and erotic dancing, inhibit their ability to be open about their sexual struggles or experiences. They fear disciplinary probation and being ostracized by peers.

"When I enrolled as a freshman, I would never have said I was gay," Jordan said. "I wanted to keep it quiet for fear of my guy friends being freaked out by me. You hear gay jokes around campus and you’re afraid if you come out people will look at you differently."

Jordan often felt lonely during his four years at Wheaton, but insisted his experience was positive overall, especially after he made the decision to reveal his struggles with gay porn and same-sex attraction to his discipleship group and some professors, administrators, and close friends.

"When I first came out to my small group, they laid hands on me, prayed for me, thanked me for confessing deep, dark things, and said they’d be there to support me as I struggled through it," Jordan said.

Two months after graduation, he was faced with the challenge of coming out to his parents. "When those words came out of his mouth, I truly felt like I’d been gut punched," said Jordan’s mom. But Jordan’s family reassured him of their love, and turned to prayer to deal with their conflicted feelings.

Not all such stories end this way. Some students with same-sex attractions align with pro-gay student and alumni organizations. Others have left the faith altogether. In a few extreme cases, students have taken their own lives. All in all, dealing with same-sex attractions is a lonely road for many Christian students, and Christian colleges are trying to become places where these students don’t have to struggle alone.

Identity Reconsidered

The debate over homosexuality on campus is being recast by new research on sexual identity, which goes beyond a person’s hetero- or homosexual behavior and orientation.

Understanding sexual identity is a continual process with many stops and starts regardless of a person’s religious convictions, according to William Struthers, author of Wired for Intimacy and a research psychologist and professor at Wheaton. He said that the traditional labels (such as gay or straight) concerning sexual orientation are outdated and inaccurate. "Human sexuality is a lot more complex than four or five letters."

For celibate singles, affirmation from a church community is crucial to their well-being.He continued, "We’re being forced to think more deeply about what role sexuality plays in life. All of these categories we thought were hard and fast really aren’t. There’s a nature to it. There’s a nurture to it. It’s how the brain develops." His research has focused on sexual arousal, addiction, and pornography. "Sexuality is about a lot more than just who you want to have your orgasms with," Struthers said.

He said churches would benefit from the experience of people like Jordan. They choose to forego their own sexual desires through celibacy because they see something beyond themselves. To Struthers, this is a sacrificial display of loyalty to Christ.

But as a student, Jordan found himself in the minority of his peers with same-sex attraction. According to Jordan, many individuals who took part in a same-sex attracted small group during his senior year expressed desire to pursue same-sex relationships upon graduation. Many join liberal congregations that affirm gay orientation. Others may leave church altogether.

"If I could redo my life and like women that would be great, but I’m happy I’m gay," Jordan said. "God might change me, and I’m fine with that, but the experiences and conversations I’ve had have drawn me close to God and revealed him to me in awesome ways."

The prospects for change of sexual orientation remain extremely controversial. At the pastoral level, Mario Bergner, founder and director of Redeemed Lives Ministries, is a deep believer in the ability of gay individuals to change.

Bergner encourages students to identify themselves as individuals before God, apart from their sexual desires. Bergner said, "I see them as a person first, and as a Christian, if that’s how they self-identify." As a young adult, Bergner actively pursued a gay lifestyle before participating in pastoral care and therapy groups that enabled him in time to enter into heterosexual marriage. "The embracing of celibacy is a legitimate Christian option, but then again, so is embracing a dynamic process of sanctification," Bergner said.

Still, this is not the choice of some students, and when it isn’t, colleges still try to reach out. Brent Persun, a 2011 Cedarville University graduate, is one example. Shortly after enrolling at Cedarville, Persun found himself in the dean’s office during his freshman year to discuss his same-sex attractions.

Persun said, "Sex in general was not often talked about in my church or family, let alone homosexuality, so I hid it for as long as possible." After his parents discovered him accessing gay porn on his computer as a teen, he began attending sessions designed to change his orientation. He continued this treatment while at Cedarville.

"The dean knew that I struggled with same-sex attraction, but this was mostly contingent on the fact that I was struggling and trying to change," Persun said. "I still appreciate my time at Cedarville for the education I received and the friends I made."

When CedarvilleOut, a pro-gay alumni organization, hosted an off-campus meeting during his junior year, Persun met with founder and 1984 Cedarville grad David Olsen to discuss the integration of faith and homosexuality.

After the meeting, Persun decided to embrace a homosexual identity. Persun now lives an openly gay lifestyle and also is a member of Old South Church in Boston.

Olsen said, "Initially, I said if I could make one life better it would be worth it. Now, it’s done more than I ever thought it would." CedarvilleOut has not collaborated directly with Cedarville University, but hosts off-campus events, such as the one Persun attended.

Cedarville’s vice president of student life Carl Ruby said the institution maintains a healthy dialogue with CedarvilleOut. "I was assigned to be Dave Olsen’s mentor back when we were students together at Cedarville in the early 1980s," Ruby said. "We have major differences of opinion about what we believe the Bible says about this topic, but I consider him a friend. We have tried to model what civil conversation looks like."

Expanding Dialogue

Christian college administrators have found that small group meetings and campus-wide forums about same-sex attraction are overcoming the reluctance of students to openly discuss sexuality and sexual behavior.

In 2006, Calvin College began hosting a sexuality series that includes events, speakers, and book clubs to help students better understand topics affecting homosexual and heterosexual students. According to Calvin’s 2008 Statement on Homosexuality and Community Life, homo-sexual orientation is not inherently sinful, but sexual behavior belongs within the bounds of heterosexual marriage.

Calvin communications director Tim Ellens said gay students are able to be honest about their sexuality while being accountable to the code of conduct. "Calvin teaches incoming freshmen to be loving, open, and kind about gay people," junior Joel Betts said. "I’m friends with people who are gay, and it’s not a big deal at all."

Same-sex attracted students at several Christian institutions have attempted to start on-campus organizations with varying degrees of success. Seattle Pacific University’s Haven is an "unofficial club" organized by students. It hosts weekly meetings on campus to encourage honest conversations about sexuality while holding to the school’s "Lifestyle Expectations" regarding sex outside of heterosexual marriage.

"Haven is recognized by the university administration, but not as a recognized student club through the student government system," vice president of student life Jeff Jordan said.

"Haven has applied a couple of times for official club status through student government, but they have not attained that status. So administration has said, if indeed what’s important is having a safe place on campus for conversation, and you’re willing to work with university administration, whether that be through me, which is how it was for many years, or through an umbrella organization, then we’ll work with you on this."

According to faculty advisor Kevin Neuhouser, the meetings function as support for same-sex attracted students on campus as well as a forum that hosts speakers who address human sexuality. "There are gay students on every Christian campus," Neuhouser said. "What’s fundamental to respecting and caring for them is providing them a place they can feel safe. The main concern is the student, not the orientation."

In California, some student organizations, like the Biola Queer Underground, advocate for acceptance of same-sex practice and provide anonymity for their members.

"As an lgbtq student, you have to be constantly aware of how others perceive you, even off-campus," an anonymous Biola Queer Underground representative said. "It’s a sad reality that students could very well turn in students to administration for discipline or expulsion."

Biola’s dean of students, Danny Paschall, said there is a difference between students identifying as homosexual and those acting on their attraction. The community seeks to come alongside same-sex attracted students, not ostracize them.

Paschall said in a statement, "When a student approaches us and communicates that he or she is struggling with same-sex behavior or sexual identity, we aim to offer a safe environment that promotes openness, dialogue, and care. If students are engaging in same-sex behavior and are not taking into account their commitment to Biola’s community standards, then we will have a conversation about their status as a student."

Freedom from Fear

In the same vein, Wheaton’s Humphreys insists her institution is striving to become a safe space for students.

"Our policies are truly restorative," Humphreys said. "If we have a student wrestling with sexuality, we’re not going to kick them out—we’re going to bring them closer to help them think through how they understand it." This year, Wheaton’s student government has endorsed a student-led, confidential community group for those who experience same-sex attraction.

For celibate singles, affirmation from a church community is crucial to their well-being.

Author Wesley Hill told CT, "Celibacy is a hard choice, and if churches are not willing to hold it up as an honorable pursuit and support it with practices of friendship and hospitality, I’m not sure it will seem viable to many sexual minorities."

He added, "The congregations that give me hope are ones where I see married people and single people, older people and younger people, all sharing meals and ministries and small groups together."

Allison J. Althoff is associate online editor at Today’s Christian Woman. Follow her on Twitter (@ajalthoff).Additional research by CT news intern Bryn Sandberg.

We’ve been living in Melbourne since 2004. Melbourne hosts the only tennis grand slam tournament this side of the equator and these days, all of the top players in the world make the effort to participate, unlike many years ago when the top players skip this tournament to have an extended holiday over the Christmas and New Year period.

And so this has become a significant and sought after tournament. And yet, although it is more or less at our doorstep, we’ve never attended any matches – other than an early round match I attended back in the summer of 2005 with the law firm I was with then. So this year, I got the family to agree to go watch some of this world class tennis.

I now have on my phone, 3 tickets for a night match starting 7pm tonight. It’s the 3rd round singles matches and I’m looking forward to it. We’ll remember Australian Open 2013 the better for it…

Conveniently, we were in NZ the first couple of Sundays of the New Year. While Tress did ask if we should look for a church to attend on the second Sunday, when we were at Christchurch, there was only one other occasion when the issue of church attendance (here in Melbourne) came up. Now that we’re back to (more or less) regular routines, I have again thought about what to do with church.

A church we have attended a few times is still in its holiday program. The other, we felt required more cultural realignment and demographically, is more suited to people with young families. Someone like us – two Gen X adults with a non-resident adult child – would likely not slip in easily, although as Kiddo pointed out, that would not be a major factor mostly.

So I wonder where we’d end up this and the next few Sundays. A voice inside me somewhere is saying, just sleep in and go to the beach. Years of spending Sundays in corporate worship however, make that hard. No doubt all it’d take is a few weeks of succumbing and I’d be less disinclined to be hedonistic about it all but hopefully, this Sunday would not be that Sunday when I do succumb.

But where do we go to stay away off that no doubt slippery slope?

The aforesaid holidaying church is no different to the two million or so churches in the neighbourhoods of the eastern suburbs here in Melbourne in that it keeps a skeletal existence at home base while its members trot around from Bangkok to Barbados or from Madrid to Miami, with an unmuted display of the present strength of the AUD. (Or it could be from Byron Bay to Merimbula, in which case the might of the AUD hits the holidaymaker). Often, the minister (or Senior Pastor) isn’t excluded from the gallivanting tribes. Somehow, the flocks need less tending in January of each year. Thankfully, I am not in the business of providing such care nor am I any longer involved in providing support to those who do.

So until January disappears along with the late sunsets and February sees us wake from our long siestas, we can’t be sure what we see is what we get, in the churches we are assessing. “Get” not as in receiving, but as in the church as it stands, to let us know what we are in for. Very likely, these local groups in full flight from the end of February onwards, can look and feel significantly different from the muted January versions.

Maybe it is an opportunity to skirt around the edges without indication of commitment. Time to wait can be a luxury I have yet to learn to appreciate.

Melbourne looks so dry now. I came back from work early yesterday arvo, and a bit later took the little fellow out for a walk. It was very warm and I thought he looked less excited and enthusiastic than his normal self. Perhaps he too was readjusting to coming home after staying with another family for the 2 weeks we were away.

There are 4 sports fields near our home. The one directly across the road is the one we normally bring him to and use mostly because it is a fenced in oval and he could run freely without us having to keep too close a watch on him. He’s alright for the most part to be left alone but occasionally he like to come up to kids and play with them and we have known parents who don’t like that.

Further ahead, there is another field but it is fenced in and gated and is sort of a private area. The Nunawading Soccer Club (I think) uses it. To its right is another oval, which is an open area and further to the right is the last field and social soccer and cricket happen there.

Each of those four fields looked dry and very brown. I guess that week of very hot conditions has taken its toll. After traversing two of the four fields yesterday, LBJ and I walked a few more blocks around the neighbourhood and most lawns looked really brown and dried out. In fact compared to these homes, our lawn – which I had thought looked terrible for being so dry and lifeless – looked healthy and not quite dried out.

Not too long ago I remarked to Tress it was wonderful to see the luscious greens of the ovals and playing fields across out home. They’ve all turned for the worse, or so it seems. I hope the wetter conditions return soon.

When we were all keyed up and excited to leave for NZ on 1/1, the slight delay (30mins) was enough to provide a little sigh but little did we know, that it was a miniscule prelude to the incredibly long delay we were to encounter on our journey home, on 14/1. Sandwiched in between these faux pas however, was a wonderful holiday. Tress, Kiddo and I were immensely blessed to immerse ourselves in the beauty of NZ, and to experience this display as a family.

We got in at Auckland, went up to Mount Eden with an ex-colleague of Tress’ now working in Auckland, and then made our way towards Waitomo (the caves) and then to Mata Mata where we took in the magic of Hobbiton and The Shire. After that we headed towards Rotorua and took in the scenes and experience of the hot springs and geysers before driving to Wellington.

From Wellington we took the inter-islander to Picton, drove to Blenheim in the Marlborough region to enjoy the famous NZ Sauvignon Blanc, and then drove to the east coast town of Kaikoura. From there we pushed down to Christchurch and then to Twizel and relived the Pelennor Fields experiences. Then it was Mount Cook and the Tasman Glacier before moving more southward to Queenstown for a few days.

From Queenstown the plan was to then go to the West Cost and see Fox Glacier but at Lake Hawea, we were told some roads had been washed out and that part of the west coast we were heading had become inaccessible. So we turned around and headed to Dunedin instead, after which it was back to Christchurch and back to Melbourne.

The whole trip was unforgettable for its beauty, majesty, purity and invigorating nature. The 10+ hours delay by Virgin Airlines at Christchurch only dampened the experience very slightly, such was the magnificence of Aotearoa.

I hope to return soon, as do Tress and Kiddo I’m sure.

We’re starting 2013 with a trip to Hobbitland… Once we get off Tullamarine..

We’ve lost another voice in cricket. First it was on Peter Roebuck on radio, now it’s Tony Greig on TV. It’s almost like the situation on field – losing Punters and now Mike Hussey, leaves a gap which would take a long time to fill. 

The banters between Tony Greig and Bill Lawry will now have to be replaced. I hope Mark Taylor, Ian Healy, Michael Slater and the remainder of the Nine commentary team pick up where Greig (and Roebuck) left off, and continue to deliver entertaining and informative fillers.

I loved the below column by Jonathan Agnew from the BBC:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/20864548

An immense and competitive character, he was also someone who stood up for what he believed was right and was not afraid to take people on.

He did not set out to offend people but could court controversy on and off the field of play.

The clash with West Indies batsmen Alvin Kallicharran  in 1974 stands out. For those unfamiliar with what happened, it was similar to the incident involving Ian Bell when England played India in 2011.

At the end of day two of the first Test between England and West Indies in Port of Spain, non-striker Kallicharran, who was unbeaten on 142, began to walk off after the final ball was bowled, assuming time had been called and it was close of play.

However, Tony, seeing Kallicharran out of his ground, had other ideas. He threw down the stumps at the non-striker’s end, prompting uproar in the crowd when Kallicharran was given out.

After protracted discussion, Kallicharran, like Bell, was reinstated.

Tony was involved in more controversy in 1976, when he said he would make Clive Lloyd’s West Indies side “grovel” during their three-Test series in England.

Tony knew at the time he had made a mistake, but his words were seized upon amid suggestions of racist undertones.

Tony Greig’s career

• Major teams: England, Border, Eastern Province, Sussex
• Tests: 58
• ODIs: 22
• Test runs: 3,599 (average 40.43)
• Test wickets: 141 (average 32.20)
• Scored 16,600 runs (average 31.19) and took 856 wickets (average 28.85) in 350 first-class matches

I was there at The Oval that summer as a 16-year-old boy when, in the wake of England’s 3-0 defeat by a team that included the likes of Andy Roberts, Viv Richards and Michael Holding, Tony dropped to his knees in mocking reference to his own comments. A lot of West Indians loved him for that. Tony was certainly a showman.

Many people also remember Greig for his association with World Series Cricket in the late 1970s.

Media mogul Kerry Packer wanted to stage floodlit cricket and promised more money for the game, his Channel Nine station offering up to 10 times what the Australian Broadcasting Corporation paid to screen matches at the time.

The Australian Cricket Board kept saying “no”, but Tony, who was England captain at the time, led a rebel breakaway.

The decision to join Packer’s set-up was seen as the ultimate betrayal. Indeed, the infamous episode tore cricket apart for a while.

I remember going to a Professional Cricketers’ Association meeting at Edgbaston at the time. It was a very heated meeting, but it soon became clear that generations would benefit from the additional money being created by the sudden hike in the cost of television broadcasting rights.

Channel Nine helped revolutionise cricket, marketing the game in a way it never had been before. It should not be forgotten that Tony had a huge part to play in that.

Greig was a genuine all-rounder

When he came to deliver his Cowdrey Lecture at Lord’s  in June this year, Tony’s brother-in-law, MCC president Phillip Hodson, pointed out that the first draft contained no reference to the World Series Cricket furore, a subject on which a lot of the MCC still felt very strongly.

But Tony did not duck the issue when it came for him to speak and had cleared the air with many disgruntled MCC members by the end of the lecture. Albeit grudgingly in some cases, most people eventually accepted that Packer’s revolution had to happen.

The only person he did not get the chance to make peace with was traditionalist and cricket writer EW “Jim” Swanton, who died in 2000. I know Tony was very upset he was unable to do that.

A proud South African who qualified to play for England through his Scottish parents, Tony was a huge man to have on your side and someone you would run through a brick wall for, because you knew he would do the same for you.

People also forget he was one of the best all-rounders England ever had, averaging 40 with the bat at a time when that was far less common than currently. He was also a very useful bowler, with either his medium pace or his off-cutters, and a fearless close fielder.

He was always on the go in life, too: looking for ways to improve cricket whether on the field or off. Who can forget the sight of him wheeling out the weather maps and all those other innovations during his time as a commentator with Channel Nine?

I remember coming back from holiday in Dubai to a message from Tony booming out of my answer machine. “Hi Aggers! I’m down to do the final in Sharjah but I’m in Australia for a wedding so I’ve told them you’ll do the commentary!” I had only just returned from there but because Tony had asked me, I went back out.

He was a bit like our own Test Match Special commentator Henry Blofeld – there was always something going on whenever he was around.

And whether playing or commentating, Tony viewed every ball of a cricket match as an event.

Jonathan Agnew was talking to BBC Sport’s Jamie Lillywhite

Related articles

• Tony Greig changed cricket forever (thesun.co.uk)
• Tony Greig: charismatic, gifted cricketer and the ideal foil for Packer | Vic Marks (guardian.co.uk)
• Former England cricketer Tony Greig dies (sports.ndtv.com)
• Greig da ‘Whom one Hates to Hate’ (ramanan50.wordpress.com)
• Tony Greig (telegraph.co.uk)
• Former England captain Greig dies – reports (thehimalayantimes.com)
• Former England cricket captain Tony Greig dies (thehindu.com)
• Stars mourn a giant of modern cricket (smh.com.au)
• ‘Visionary’ remembered (smh.com.au)
• Tony Greig, former England cricket captain and commentator, dies from heart attack (vancouverdesi.com)

On dealing with mistakes, regrets and forgiveness…

Another article by Phillip Jensen

————-

Regrets: Do You Have A Few?

A regular article written by Phillip Jensen in his role as Dean of Sydney at St Andrew’s Cathedral.

Originally Published:

23rd March 2012

Two iconic singers of the twentieth century were born a fortnight apart in December 1915. One was American, the other French. Both had lives not only of fame and fortune, but also of notoriety and infamy.

They sang of their lives in two famous songs of the 1960’s. Each was an anthem, speaking of their life and struggles. Both songs became international favourites, sung by many other artists, but always associated with the original two singers. Both were songs dealing with regrets by denial.

One of course was the famous American, Frank Sinatra and his anthem “My Way”. His friend, Paul Anka, wrote the song intentionally for him. It captured the way Sinatra talked and the way in which he lived. It spoke of his regrets as “too few to mention” but then continues to struggle with the mistakes of his life – biting off more than he can chew, of tears and of losing. But as the theme of the song makes abundantly clear, the regrets are of no significance because the choices of life were his and his alone. He was not like one of those who kneel; he was a man who speaks his own mind, takes his own blows and does it his own way.

The other was the famous French singer Edith Piaf and her anthem “Non, je ne regrette rien” (“No, I regret nothing”).  Hers was a more defiant song, rejecting in the strongest terms possible any notion of regret, while manifestly “protesting too much”.  The opening verse declares the message.

“No, absolutely nothing

No, I regret nothing

Neither the good that’s been done to me,

Nor the bad: it is all the same!”

From there we are told that she doesn’t “give a damn about the past!” – her shames or her pleasures. And the reason for this abandonment of all her life is the commencement of a fresh start “with you”.  The song doesn’t spell out who this “you” is, and some Christians hope it is God – but there is no indication it is anything more than yet another lover.

So how do we deal with the regrets of our life? Pride ourselves on our achievements and suppress mentioning the failures?  Sweep up the past by forgetting all about it – don’t give it a damn – but sweep it away by rejecting the difference between good and evil?  It’s one thing to forget about the evil done to us but what about the evil we have done to others. What about the suffering of a fallen world? Are we to have no regrets for them either?

It is an insensitive soul that has no regret for sorrows of the world or their part in contributing to them.  But how can we face the pain we have caused others or the things of which we should rightly be ashamed? How do we deal with the sorrows of life that we have to endure?

We can, and should, own up to our errors, repent of our wrongdoing, apologise to those we have harmed and make reparation wherever possible. But even when we have done all this, there can still be a sense of deep regret about our actions. Often we cannot apologise or make any reparation, there is no possibility of putting things right – we just have to live with the consequences.

In the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, there is a major way through our dilemma of regret. For God, who is himself sorrowed by sinfulness, understands our failings. He has put things right for us. He has paid the penalty for all our sins. Paid a price, far in excess of anything we have ever done. Not the price of silver or gold but the price of the precious blood of his Son (1 Peter 1:18f). This payment does not pretend that our failings have not happened, nor pretend that they do not matter, nor remove them to the dustbin of forgotten history. This payment recognizes the seriousness of our sinfulness and deals with it in full.

As Christians become aware of our sins, we turn our grief into godly repentance and find forgiveness in the death of our Lord and Saviour. Having dealt with the past we press on to live the new life that Christ brings us. We are not left in grief without hope. We do not have to dwell in our mistakes or deal with them by denial (2 Corinthians 7:8-11, Philippians 3:12-14).

Christians can be free of regrets not only in our failures but also in life’s missed opportunities. We do not live as if blind fate has dealt us a bad hand. Nor are we simply the victims of other people’s sinfulness. We are the children of our loving Heavenly Father who is working his purposes out for our good, that we may be conformed to the image of his son and so bring glory to him (Romans 8;28-30). Life is not ultimately about us, but about Him, and our life finds its meaning, satisfaction, joy and love in being transformed into the likeness of our crucified and risen Lord. Whatever pain, sorrow or suffering we may experience – and there is much in this world to experience – is not worth comparing to the glory that awaits us (Romans 8:18).  It is all part of his loving preparation for our share in his holiness, yielding “the peaceful fruit of righteousness” (Hebrews 12:10f).

Christians neither wallow in their regrets nor repress their sorrows. We can face our failures of the past knowing that they have been dealt with. Unlike Edith Piaf, we do not negate the difference between good and bad in our attempt to leave the past behind. We also do not minimise the failures of the past, or carry the regret, as Frank Sinatra did. Christ has dealt with all our failures and God is ruling over all the events of our life to bring about his good purposes.

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Tress and I went to a Christmas eve carol service in a church close to home. It was very liturgical but that did not rob the occasion of its meaning and purpose. I wasn’t excited about going but thankfully Tress showed enough interest and determination and I came back glad that we went. We got home just after midnight.

The next morning Tress and I got up and started to get the house tidied up further for lunch. She then took kiddo to LifeGate church. Kiddo had wanted to catch up with old friends. Tress then came home and we went out to a grocery store to pick up a couple of items. We were pleasantly surprised when told, a couple of weeks before, that this store would open on Christmas Day. I guess it isn’t ideal that some people could not spend the day with their families or loved ones at home for Christmas, but when we got  there the boss himself was at the checkout counter so I guess (I hope) that softened the impact somewhat.

We got lunch ready and starting with Gerry and Jesslyn, the other guests started arriving close to 12.30pm. We ate, talked and whiled the arvo away. It was a great way to spend Christmas – being with de facto family.

Yesterday we had the choice of either of two traditional Boxing Day activities for Melbourne – either the Boxing Day Test match at the MCG, or shopping. With two ladies in the house, it was a no brainer. We were up late however, and we had a lazy breakfast at home so it wasn’t until nearly noon that we went shopping. We stopped at the FHC first however, to pick up tickets for “The Hobbit” later that night. Midway through shopping, Tress took a call from an uncle and so after shopping we went over to their home for a late lunch.

We left Uncle Seng’s close to 5, got home, I took LBJ out for a quick walk then headed to the FHC. The Hobbit was very good, although Les Miserables was much better, we thought.

It was back at work this morning and with the train schedule pegged to a weekend mode, getting in was a bit of a hassle but it was very quiet – there is now just about half dozen people in the office so I thought I could safely put this one up…

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