It was another normal (read: grinding) week and so come Friday night. Tress and I looked for a joint to go away for a Friday dinner to welcome the weekend, as we normally do (albeit more at home for that recently). We ended up in a ramen place in The Glen, where we sat at a bar of sorts. The food was good, and there was a constant queue at the entrance so the place was buzzing, as are most establishments in that mall anyway. We then did a bit of a walkabout and bought some milk and smoked salmon for brekky the next morning.

On Saturday morning, we slept in a little bit, took the little one for a longish walk, where we stopped at a cafe on Hawthorn Road to take away a coffee. It was a busy place and that coffee took some 15 mins but the staff were friendly and the coffee was very good. We were only taking a (more or less) leisurely walk anyway…

The whole of Mahoney Reserve, with the 3 public ovals and 1 semi private soccer pitch, were full that morning, as some form of kids’ soccer carnival was going on. Traffic on Mahoney’s Road was very congested as we walked home. Back home, we started on our usual chores – I mowed the lawns and swept and tidied up the outside while Tress vacuumed the house. I also trimmed (quite aggressively) the lemon tree, removing as much of the “bulby” sickly looking branches as I could. We then went to Brandon Park for lunch and did some grocery shopping. We then came home, walked the little guy again, and then went to Heathmont (all 3 of us) to pick up a used coffee grinder I picked up from FB marketplace.

On Sunday at St Alf’s Ben C continued the new Lent series. A new person lead the corporate prayer. Devi D did it beautifully – the prayers were relevant, touching and beautifully put together. She has been contributing heaps to life at St Alf’s and whenever I see someone like that, I wondered what I have to do to do more. There must be something that is hindering a deeper and more engaging involvement, but I’m not sure I’m ready to find out what that might be and what I need to do about it. Maybe it’s intended by Him that I should just bid “my” time. For now, at least.

After St Alf’s we went to Donvale for lunch, as we do. We then came home, and Nic dropped by with some very delicious looking pastries that she picked up from the city, where she had been with her beau. She then told us she’s not sure if she will continue going into the city for church, because she could not get involved in other activities as she lives and work this side of town (east, closer to us) and trekking into the city other than on a weekend can be taxing. She could not stay long as there were errands and chores she had to do; after she left, we continued the cooking and then did a bit more grocery shopping at the FHC, also stopping for a coffee and helping ourselves to a piece of the lovely pastries Nic brought us.

Tress then went and saw someone at the Peter James, while I finished up the cooking, packed the week’s lunches in the freezer and cleaned up. I then took the little fella to the oval, sat around and chatted with the regulars there, before Tress eventually joined us and we then came back to wind down the weekend.

As we sat watching a Taylor Swift doco, my mind turned to the weeks ahead. Kiddo and Mic would be heading to Sydney later today for the concert, we’d be heading up there for Abby’s birthday in a little over 2 weeks, and after Easter, Tress would be heading for Klang. It’d be a busy next couple of months. Again, we’re busy and blessed.

The second half of last week ramped up a bit for both Tress and I, and we found ourselves a touch busier than usual.

On Wednesday, we both had our volunteer meetings. The Boards of both LinC and Steer often meet on Wednesday nights and last week, both ours happened at the same time. Thankfully hers ended a bit earlier than mine, which went on till well past 8pm. On Thursday, the St Alf’s home group met again at the Longs’ home and so we didn’t get back till about 10pm. On Friday, we caught up with Jason and Mel for dinner. This time, we went to the Box Hill RSL, which was quite nice so Tress and I thought we could go back some time. As usual, catching up with Jason and Mel entailed conversations about our children and church etc. We came home reasonably early (about 9pm) so that was good.

On Saturday, after taking the little Padawan for his weekend walk, we went to the Farmers’ home in Box Hill South. There was a morning tea catch up to chat about the work of a couple of staff workers with AFES, in Swinburne and Monash Universities. We discussed the broad remit of what the group (of about 9 of us, with 1 apology) would do to support the work that goes on in those two campuses and it was a good morning.

After that meeting, Tress and I went to lunch at our favourite joint in Donvale, after which we went and did some grocery shopping. We stopped for a coffee which was a very good respite. That night, we finally found some time to put up our feet with no other scheduled program to attend to. I marinated some chicken we had bought, in preparation for a little soiree the next day however, so the busy-ness hasn’t completely ebbed.

On Sunday, St Alf’s felt a touch busier than normal. Maybe people have mostly returned from their holidays, or maybe we had a reasonably good sleep the night before so I was more attuned to what’s happening around me. I have felt that in recent months, that has been true for me (more attuned to my surroundings) and that could be because I have given up alcohol. I think generally, I feel better so I hope I don’t return to some form of regular consumption. The occasional tipple may still be in the works but I hope there will be very few of those, and far between.

After St Alf’s we again went to our usual lunch spot in Donvale, after which we went home for some food preps. I took a snooze on the couch however, before the cooking frenzy began – just a quick 15 minute visit to la-la land. I cooked the week’s lunches, and then cooked the chook wings (“drummetes?”) on the Weber GA, and made a (satay-like) sauce from the marinate. Tress had gone to visit an ex-colleague at Peter James’ rehab hospital just down the road on Mahoney’s so I was king of the kitchen for nearly the whole arvo. The week’s lunches promptly got cooked and packed away in the freezer (and fridge), and then those wings smelled delicious as I put them on a plate to take to Alex and Li Har’s home. We caught up for an early dinner there. Alex cooked up a storm with his usual noodle dishes, and Li Har did a couple of very decent (Hakka styled) pork stew and a pork curry. Jason and Mel brought some “lor bak” and “kuih ketayap” (my favourite Malaysian desert) and the Hiis brought some yee-sang. The party started with the customary “loh hee”, for which I just stood nearby. I am beginning to have a poke at taking some firm steps in dissociating myself from these practices that are loaded with superstitions/emphasis on wealth and health. It’s such a fun thing to do however, and the salad is delicious so I guess that is why most just go along with it. It’s no biggie – just a little something that had been whispering in some corner of my mind which I thought I’d respond to.

We left Alex and Li Har’s soon after 8pm, and came back and played with the little one for a bit (and fed him his dinner) before retiring to bed. Waking up to another United win was a nice little oomph to push me for my Monday-morning-start-of-the-week-and-therefore-sluggish-run. I’m grateful for a busy week and blessings in abundance.

“Tua Kor” literally means “Big Aunt”. Her name is Swee Lian, and she is the eldest of my grandparents’ children. She now has dementia, and lives in ah aged care home in PJ, Malaysia. Her children appear to be clearing up stuff from her home in Klang. Cindy, her youngest, sent a couple of pictures yesterday. They’re pictures of an “aerogram” letter I sent “Tua Kor” and her late husband, Dr. Lian, some 40 years ago!

It was the Lunar New Year on Saturday. It’s the “year of the dragon”, which means my brother turns 60 and a couple of my uncles turn 72. A few of my cousins turn either 36 or 48 (probably more 36 than 48), but there lies the best part of the Chinese zodiac – it’s utilitarian feature of letting one know how old one is, almost instantaneously…

It’s not often we get a LNY falling on a Saturday or Sunday, so when it does, we make the most of it. Melbourne has more and more Chinese calling it home now, but it hasn’t quite reached a level where the LNY is a public holiday. So when it falls on a weekday, we don’t do anything.

Other than having it fall on a Saturday, this year also saw Nicole, my niece, settling in Melbourne so Tress and I made an occasion of it and invited her, Ruth and family and a few of Nic’s colleagues and friends over. Tress and I cooked on Saturday, and served a few classic LNY dishes – a braised pork and mushroom dish, which we adorned with some abalones, a whole fish, a soup and a side dish of veg, along with a couple of store bought dishes (a roast duck and a salt baked chook). All in, it was quite a feast and when the guests have all left, Tress and I spent a fair bit of time packing away the leftovers for our lunches this week. This, after those colleagues of Nic’s have packed some to go too. They’re all young single adults who work long hours (they’re all doctors) so home cooked food is always welcomed, I suppose. Ruth, Jon and Micah trekked from Woodend and only left close to 10pm, which meant they only got home close to midnight, so that was an effort to catch up, which I appreciated very much. It is always good to see them.

Tress and I stayed up late that night, as we cleaned and tidied the house, putting away the numerous loads of dishes etc., and battled with the dishwasher – the 16+ year old moaning machine that is increasingly temperamental. We went to bed way past midnight and with it being a warm night, we also had some mozzies for company, which made it a restless one.

On Sunday at St Alf’s we said farewell to Ross, the children and family minister. He had been on staff for 9 years and has done a wonderful job and it was a very emotional goodbye. It was a hot day, and we came home for some leftover foods (thus continuing another LNY tradition) before Tress went and visited an ex-colleague of hers at the Peter James rehab centre down the road from our home. Kym had been unwell since Nov last year but Tress only found out about a week ago, and she’d been to see her a couple of times. It sounded like Kym’s kids appreciated that very much, as they only lost their dad not too long ago and to have their mum now succumb to a serious illness is such a terrible blow to these young folks.

We went to bed relatively early, having turned on the air conditioning to deal with another warm night. Summer is in its last rounds but the heat appears to be just cranking up. It’d be 37 deg today and will be in the high 30’s tomorrow as well. Thankfully, I slept like a baby last night… hopefully the “year of the dragon” wouldn’t be too restless…

Our niece, Sim’s daughter, is now in Melbourne. Nic will live and work here, at least for a little while – perhaps the next couple of years and hopefully much longer after that. It’s just a wonderful feeling to have a close family member based much closer to us now. So, on Friday night, we caught up for dinner with her and Jon, her beau. We went to the Red House in Scoresby, after which we came home for a bit of a chat before they left for home, which is now a mere 20+ minutes away. We’d be having them over again in a few days, for a Chinese New Year thing.

On Saturday, Tress and I walked the little fella, before attending to some house chores. We had a fair bit to do and limited time too, as there was to be a family catch up in Wonga Park later that arvo. So Tress vacuumed and cleaned the house while I mowed, trimmed and cleared some undergrowth, and tidied up the nature strip. We finished just before 1pm, and hurriedly cleaned up and made our way to the family party. Tress’ aunt and her family bought a sprawling property a couple of years ago. They invited the family over for a pre-Chinese New Year soiree and it was lovely. We caught up with all the aunties, uncles and cousins, etc.. It was particularly good to see Adam again. We left at about 4.30pm, as the little fella had been registering his anxieties and protests on the Furbo… we got back and took him to the oval (his favourite place) for a run around with his friends.

On Sunday, after St Alf’s we reacquainted ourselves with our favourite Sunday lunch spot at Donvale, where we also bumped into Jason and Mel. Jason later came over and intimated that he missed our Friday night catch ups. Later, I sent him a picture of our dinner with Nic and Jon, I guess to say that was what we did that kept us from a Friday night catch up. We had also been in and out of town recently, so maybe we can catch up again before too long. After lunch, we went to The Glen to meet Auntie Pin, who was to deliver some CNY cookies we had ordered from her. She was meant to bring them to the Sat arvo soiree but with Adam, his carer and wheelchair, the vehicle ran out of space. She also recounted to us, further medical episodes that Adam went through before Christmas. My heart ached when I listened to her telling us the incidents. Auntie Pin has been tremendously strong for her family; she remains a positive and lovely human being.

While at the Glen, I went to an ATM and got my card swallowed up by the machine. I rang the bank immediately and after the usual lengthy wait time, the person who attended to my call turned out to be very helpful. Hopefully I get a replacement card soon, as the increasing bank fees for card usage has meant many retailers and hospitality outlets have gone back to a cash preferred mode of transacting. It was a hot day (hottest day so far this summer) so we bumped into many friends and acquaintances at the Glen, who no doubt were seeking refuge from the heat.

We came home after a few hours, and started cooking the week’s lunches, We hadn’t done that for a few weeks and at Red House on Friday night, we had picked up some char siew, and I made some fried rice with it. We should be set for the week.

A routine of sorts has returned. It had been a great weekend of catching up with people we love to spend time with, and doing stuff we enjoy – stuff that fills our days while we’re at what John Lennon might have said “busy making other plans” (cue “Beautiful Boy”).

It was our first weekend without the older fella. I had said to Tress that of the 16+ years we’ve lived in our present home, LBJ had been with us for over 15 years. So, the home was going to feel a tad different without him around. His pitter-patter footsteps, particularly in his younger days. His distinct smell. His presence permeated our home, which we continue to live in, without his shadow ghosting in and out every now and then. I continue to miss him.

On Friday night, Tress and I had a steak night at home. I got us a couple of steaks, which I cooked on the Weber GA. That smoky flavour added to the juicy and tasty experience and coupled with the thoughts that we weren’t splurging on an expensive restaurant meal, the TGIF dinner was particularly sweet. On Saturday, we took the younger fella on the usual weekend walk – a tad extended – after which we went to pick up some groceries to trial a Chinese New Year dish. Nicole and her cohort will be in Melbourne in about a week or so, and we’ve asked her to come over for a meal, along with the folks from Woodend, whom we haven’t seen for a while. So we had to think about what to prepare and decided to trial a dish or two on Saturday.

We went to a place in Knox for lunch – somewhere we hadn’t been before – before going to pick up the groceries, and then to just spend time resting. It was a nice quiet and restful Saturday, for a change.

On Sunday, at St Alf’s, we saw that Joyce was playing the piano. She was newish and we had attended her wedding in September last year. It was wonderful to see her getting into the thick of things at St Alf’s. It made me think further about what 2024 would look like for me at St Alf’s. I felt conflicted – on the one hand I thought I wanted to do more but on the other hand, I am quite contented to just drift along. I know that’s probably less than ideal but I get this sense that something needs to happen with me internally before the service thing happends. I don’t know what, so I’d probably just sit it out and “be a Mary” a tad longer. After St Alf’s we went to our usual Donvale place for lunch, and then we went home. We then took the little fella to the oval for a runaround before I started to cook the dish we had thought about for CNY – a pork rib dish that is braised with Chinese spiced sauce. It turned out ok, albeit saltier than we would have liked. Tress went for a hairdresser appointment and while waiting for the dish to cook in a slow cooker pot, I walked the younger fella again, this time across the oval to the soccer field to take in a youth soccer game. That little guy ran around the “3rd oval” while I watched bits of the game, before I took him home to attend to the cooking. When Tress got back, and after I was done with the cleaning up etc., we went to the oval again, where the little guy had yet another walk.

I wonder if these extra walks and attention to the little guy is a way of me compensating for the loss of LBJ.

It’s harder than I thought. Maybe I’ve become soft with age. More likely however, he’s been a special companion for a little while. He rode shotgun with me, up and down the Hume, when I worked in Canberra. We explored the paths and trails in the hood together, occasionally over a long trek. We journeyed much together.

I miss him already. Heaps. I feel much sadness.

Goodbye, Scruff.

An Evening Walk

Today, we say goodbye to Scruffi, aka LBJ. You’ve journeyed more with me than any other furry friend I have ever had.

Fare thee well…

Fare thee well! thus disunited,
Torn from every nearer tie.
Seared in heart, and lone, and blighted,
More than this I scarce can die.

We had been away from just before Christmas Eve and only came back middle last week. So, the house has been unattended and it shows. The house is dusty with cobwebs in a number of corners and crevices and the lawns are overgrown, with leaves, twigs and debris of all kind building up on the driveway and everywhere. So Tress and I spent most of Saturday cleaning up.

Before the cleanup however, we went to a local Chinese restaurant on Friday night for a quick dinner, after I had taken LBJ to the vet (more of that later, see below). After dinner, we went back, and binged on an Amazon Prime series till midnight. So we slept in a little bit on Saturday before taking the younger one for a walk and then headed back for the cleanup. I needed some stuff from Bunnings however, and when I went in there, I indulged in the classic Bunnings snag on a slice of white bread…

After hours of cleaning up, Tress ducked out to get some takeaway lunch from our favourite Saturday spot at Brandon Park, and we had a very late lunch (well past 3pm). The house felt clean and fresh as we finally put our feet up, after cleaning ourselves up and walking the little fellow at the oval, later that night. Our thoughts soon turned to LBJ again.

As soon as we had put our feet up, LBJ left his bed and promptly went into another fit. These seizure have become more frequent. It happened twice last week which was why I took him to the vet last Friday. Dr Jason thinks there’s a tumour that is causing the neurological messing around that has caused the seizures. That he has been walking in circles with a cocked head, were typical symptoms. We discussed options, including end of life care. I got back and talked to Tress, and thought if he went into another seizure anytime soon, we’d give it a serious thought. That was Friday night. That Saturday night seizure told us something. Late that night, he got up, had another of his accidental wee and then cried and whined before I cradled and caressed him back to sleep.

I am ringing Dr Jason’s office shortly to ask for an appointment…