On the morning of Tuesday 15/4, as Tress and I returned from walking the little guy and settled onto our desks to start the day, we received a message from Ben, Tress’ brother. Dad has gone. We couldn’t believe what we read, as we (Tress) had been exchanging messages with him over the weekend, and there was nothing to suggest anything was wrong. He was healthy, he was his normal self.
He went to bed the night before, woke for a little while a bit after 2am, went back to bed, and went to be with the Lord. He never woke again on this earth, and did not say goodbye to anyone, including his wife. For that, she had a lot to process.
Tress frantically searched for flights and we grabbed what looked like the earliest flights out. We dropped the little guy off at Kiddo and Mic’s, and a bit after 4pm, we were in a taxi to the airport. Kiddo and Mic were meant to be in Sydney over the Easter weekend but had been wrestling with logistics and they graciously agreed to take the little fellow and skipped Sydney. We flew out of Canberra late that same arvo, into Melbourne. Just before midnight, we flew out of Melbourne to get to KL.
We arrived early the next morning. We got into the house just before 8am, and Tress’ mum was distressed. She said he was cruel to her for not having said goodbye. We just let her vent. We did not say anything. Tress stood next to him as he lied in state, mum weeping next to her. I stood behind them both as I looked at him, one of the kindest, most soft spoken man I had ever known. Later that day, I said to her brothers (Ben and Victor) and mum, that Dad only ever “raised” his voice with me once. It was soon after our wedding, and for the first time in years, after calling him “Uncle” for so long. I struggled to call him Dad and he was not happy. He chided me for not calling him Dad with conviction. I deserved it. It was the only time he had ever expressed any sort of impatience or displeasure of any sort with me. I also rarely saw him being anything other than mild mannered, with anyone else. He was the gentlest man.
The wake service that night was packed and it rained heavily towards the end. So, the crowd remained and we caught up with a host of folks.
The next day, we gave him the final send-off. He was laid to rest, not far from where my own Dad rested.
For the next several days, we helped mum with numerous administrative matters. We went to banks, insurance companies and various other establishments to sort out what needed sorting out. We also had the family lawyer come to the house to walk through his Will and probate application process. The family thought we should extend our stay and tried as we did, we could not find flights back that were later than our scheduled ones. It was the Easter/Anzac Day long weekend cum school holidays and folks were probably returning after being away. So we returned per schedule, and came back late last week.
I still see him in my mind, whenever I thought about our trip back. I see him in his shop office at Jalan Taiping, I see him in the dining room at home. I see him on the bar stool in the lounge, and I see him in the kitchen table. I can only imagine how much more Tress and his siblings miss him.
Ante 