It was our first weekend without the older fella. I had said to Tress that of the 16+ years we’ve lived in our present home, LBJ had been with us for over 15 years. So, the home was going to feel a tad different without him around. His pitter-patter footsteps, particularly in his younger days. His distinct smell. His presence permeated our home, which we continue to live in, without his shadow ghosting in and out every now and then. I continue to miss him.

On Friday night, Tress and I had a steak night at home. I got us a couple of steaks, which I cooked on the Weber GA. That smoky flavour added to the juicy and tasty experience and coupled with the thoughts that we weren’t splurging on an expensive restaurant meal, the TGIF dinner was particularly sweet. On Saturday, we took the younger fella on the usual weekend walk – a tad extended – after which we went to pick up some groceries to trial a Chinese New Year dish. Nicole and her cohort will be in Melbourne in about a week or so, and we’ve asked her to come over for a meal, along with the folks from Woodend, whom we haven’t seen for a while. So we had to think about what to prepare and decided to trial a dish or two on Saturday.

We went to a place in Knox for lunch – somewhere we hadn’t been before – before going to pick up the groceries, and then to just spend time resting. It was a nice quiet and restful Saturday, for a change.

On Sunday, at St Alf’s, we saw that Joyce was playing the piano. She was newish and we had attended her wedding in September last year. It was wonderful to see her getting into the thick of things at St Alf’s. It made me think further about what 2024 would look like for me at St Alf’s. I felt conflicted – on the one hand I thought I wanted to do more but on the other hand, I am quite contented to just drift along. I know that’s probably less than ideal but I get this sense that something needs to happen with me internally before the service thing happends. I don’t know what, so I’d probably just sit it out and “be a Mary” a tad longer. After St Alf’s we went to our usual Donvale place for lunch, and then we went home. We then took the little fella to the oval for a runaround before I started to cook the dish we had thought about for CNY – a pork rib dish that is braised with Chinese spiced sauce. It turned out ok, albeit saltier than we would have liked. Tress went for a hairdresser appointment and while waiting for the dish to cook in a slow cooker pot, I walked the younger fella again, this time across the oval to the soccer field to take in a youth soccer game. That little guy ran around the “3rd oval” while I watched bits of the game, before I took him home to attend to the cooking. When Tress got back, and after I was done with the cleaning up etc., we went to the oval again, where the little guy had yet another walk.

I wonder if these extra walks and attention to the little guy is a way of me compensating for the loss of LBJ.