I wonder what went through my late father’s mind on this day back in 1991. He was at the premises of the High Court of Malaya in Kuala Lumpur where I was being admitted to the Malaysian Bar. I wonder if he knew what was going through my mind and I don’t remember if I concerned myself with what was going through his mind on that day. I do now, today, all these years later.
I was a selfish young(er) man then. Much more than I am today. The selfish bit, especially, not just the youth bit. I should have thought more about what my parents’ states of minds were, much more than how much I was thinking about myself. Sure, I was broke, annoyed, in a hurry and generally just wanted to move on ahead. I did not like the immediate prospects that my parents presented me – they too, were broke and I believe, unhappy.
I was driving an early 70s Ford Escort that didn’t have air conditioning. I had bought myself a cheap suit for the occasion at the High Court. I was wearing brand new Bata shoes that cost, probably, around RM20. That was the last of my ringgit horde, having also spent a chunk on the robe and other expenses that accompanied the High Court event. I was then also too broke to attend the tea ceremony of a younger cousin’s wedding – I could not spare the “red packet” that would have been an obligatory presentation of an elder person, had I attended the ceremony. This cousin’s son will be married in January and Tress and I will be attending the wedding. I will remember what happened in late 1991, for a very long time. I would remain poor for the next year or so, for a number of reasons…
With all that, I guess I had good reasons to not be thinking about what my parents were thinking about, on 20 December 1991. Had I ignored those “reasons”, I might have found some soothing comforts that would continue to salve me today. Who knows. I wish I thought about them more.
It was a very nice weekend of catching up with old friends. On Friday night, we caught up with YC, someone we (particularly I), have known since I was a teenager. YC and I were both in the youth fellowship group of our local church in Klang. She went on to be a paediatric and married another doctor – a thoracic specialist, I believe. They have 2 children here in Melbourne so they visit pretty regularly. Once I was on a same flight as her husband and I gave him a ride from the airport to their children’s home in Caulfield. YC messaged me earlier on Friday arvo and I asked her to join Tress and I in our favourite local in Donvale. We caught up well and she shared her journey with us – her son has been facing challenges in his Masters’ course in Monash Uni and it has been quite a bumpy ride. They recently moved to Bentleigh East and when we gave her a ride home, we stopped by their new place, just on Warrigal Road.
On Saturday, we had a leisurely morning – sleeping in a little bit before taking the little fellow on a leisurely and a bit extended walk. Back from the walk, we drove as the crow flies, for Tress to pick up a toy for Abby. Tress recently joined a FB group where people offered up stuff that are no longer needed and the little toy that looked like a cockpit of a car, appears to be a wonderful toy. We then came back, and Tress did the vacuuming, giving the house a much needed cleaning. I tidied up the lawns – mowed, trimmed and swept, and then we went to lunch at Brendon Park before getting ready for another catch up with old friends in the city. King Ing and his family (his wife Lucy, and two adult children) had gone to Tassie for his daughter’s graduation. She finished medical school in Uni Tasmania and they came over to Melbourne for a short holiday. We hadn’t met them since we left uni in Sydney back in the late 80s’ so it has been over 30 years… they live and work in Singapore and we had a wonderful catch up, also taking in the Christmas decor that has lit up the city. We hadn’t been into the city for a while and it was certainly buzzing and it did feel like downtown Melbourne was already celebrating Christmas.
Yesterday at St Alf’s it was the third Sunday of Advent. Ben Clements, the new minister that replaced Mike McNamara, gave a wonderful sermon about the coming King. The text was on Manasseh, the king who turned badly against God and it contrasted with the faithful King that is Jesus. Ross had, earlier in the kids’ talk, spoken about Jesus who was born King. He gave a beautiful picture of a King’s bust made up of ice cream lids and it brought home the message well. Jesus was, from the moment he was born, King. He is, now, as Ben brought home so well, the coming King. It was a wonderful service that really heralded the coming true festivity of celebrating Christmas. It was terrific. Ben was a bit emotional at the end of his sermon and I think I get that. The songs we sang after, filled me with emotions too. I kept them in check of course, as always (often)…
After St Alf’s we headed to Donvale again, to have our final lunch for the year at our favourite joint. We bumped into Jason and Mel there, and Jason came to our table for a quick chat to say hello. Jason remarked that I looked “not myself” a few Fridays ago (!) when we caught up for dinner. I thought that was very strange, that he should have waited several weeks to tell me that when he could have asked me about it that night itself when we caught up. We had also met after that, together with Gerry and Jesslyn and he didn’t mention it that time either, so it was a very strange thing to say, after all these weeks. Part of me said maybe I was “not myself” because I had felt that catching up with him had felt underwhelming in recent times. I don’t believe he respects us/me, from the numerous signs and signals that he emits over the course of time, but these signals have sort of just washed past me like water off a duck’s back. They didn’t bother me much, and I still treasure our friendship, but I did feel the way I did – underwhelmed (maybe it’s the lack of generosity, maybe it’s the keeping and distribution of old unflattering pictures despite my requests, maybe it’s the annoying re gifting of kitsch that we get from them, maybe it’s… I don’t know…)
After lunch, we came home and as it was a gloriously sunny day, so I decided to oil the deck. I had bought the stuff for the job weeks ago, but it had been raining most weekends so I hadn’t had a chance for the job, until yesterday. So we “cleared the deck” of the furniture, plants and barbeque sets, hosed and scrubbed the flooring timber, and then applied the 2 coats of decking paint. Some 3 hours later, the deck looks far healthier and livelier. I’m just glad that this job, which had been sitting at the back of my mind for a little while, was finally done. Pity we’re not doing Christmas at our home…
As I rested my tired body last night, I thought of Ben’s sermon and that wonderful Advent service again. I am taught, again, that He is King. I need to live as though that is what matters. Again and for the umpteenth time, I wonder what is it I need to do in response. Come, Lord Jesus…
Summer is finally here, but no one would have thought it has arrived. It was more cold than warm on Friday, and i t bucketed down on Saturday, with the skies dark and gloomy. So, the “green” week of cleaning up the gardens etc., was written off and we did odds and bits instead. Tress went to a local post office to pick up a parcel, and then we went and did some grocery shopping before going to lunch. In the arvo, I did the week’s cook, noting that Sunday would clear up the skies and we decided I’d clean up the greens then.
On Sunday, at St Alfs, the mood was a bit about Peter’s resignation. He has been the senior minister/vicar for over 24 years. He has been the vicar for as long as we have been there. It was the first day of Advent and on the stage stood a stand that had a bouquet of flowers with 4 tall candles around it, signalling it was 4 weeks before Christmas. One was lit, marking the first Sunday of Advent. We also spoke with Siew, John’s wife, who told us about events leading to John’s retirement. He had been with Scriptures Union for 12 years.
First Sunday of Advent
After St Alf’s and our usual lunch at Donvale, we went back, let the boys out, and then headed to Bunnings to get a small trestle table. The plan is to use it for the Weber GA for the barbie we’d be having with our dog-owner friends from the off lead dog park across from our home. We’ve been having that each year and this year, due to a number of reasons, we decided to have a barbie amongst a smaller group.
After Bunnings, we headed home and I started on the work around the house – trimmed the James Sterling, edged and mowed the lawns, cleared some weeds on the edge of our front lawns neighbouring the eastern side and generally gave the whole outside a good tidying up. Tress too got busy clearing that corner where the lemon tree sits, getting rid of thorny branches. We finished well past 6pm but it still felt very nice because the sun was well up and the day has been gorgeous. I proceeded to put some stakes to provide a truss for the young tomatoes we had put in 2-3 weeks ago, and appear to be growing well. Again, finger crossed.
Later that night, the older boy was sitting at the far end of the couch I was on, and as he got up to scratch himself, fell off the couch onto the rug. He then convulsed, went into a fit, and started to foam at his mouth. We calmed him down, put a towel under him and caressed him. After about 20 minutes, he settled down and tried to stand up on his own but his legs were obviously very weak. He went to sleep and later as we took him into the bedroom, he stood up again to walk in circles, so I took him out and waited for him to do his business – he struggled to stay on his feet and after a little while, I took him back in and he then settled down to sleep. Tress and I have been thinking if this is the beginning of his end. It’s the second time in 3-4 weeks he has had an “episode”. Our senior furry friend is still ever lovable and for now, I’m just grateful that he sleeps in his bed next to me in my home office.
On Friday night, we had had dinner with Jason and Mel. We had booked a local Thai for just the 2 of us but then Jason messaged us and we changed it to a 4 person night out. Jason and Mel had been on a long break – visiting their daughter in Hong Kong, visiting extended family in Malaysia, dropping by Singapore and having a tour in Turkey. So the catch up was very good, having not seen them for a while. They continue to hover between 2 churches, having “recently” moved away from the one that meets in a shopping centre in Doncaster towards City Life. It sounded like they are still straddling both churches. For us, we’ve been in St Alfs for over 10 years now, and even with Peter leaving next year, we’re likely to remain here. Ross did a “Kids Talk” which focused on the theme of us doing ordinary things, living ordinary lives, that allow God to tell his extraordinary story. This morning too, Tim Keller’s podcast talked about Martha and Mary. Mary did an “ordinary” thing of simply sitting at Jesus’ feet and that was the more precious action. Chugging along in our “ordinary lives” has been what I have said to myself is what we are about. Restless as I often am, maybe that (Ross’s message and Mary’s choice) is a lesson I need to nail down.
Ante 