A third of another year has passed. I am increasingly jaded, especially with my work. Motivation levels are at very low ebbs. Satisfaction with work has also given way to boredom and a lack of sense of achievement. I often wondered if I could spend my days doing something which is of even greater significance. Maybe it is just the restless or lazy nature that is trying to take over.

Or maybe it is a genuine sense of tiredness. Last night as I got on the train home and opened up my book, I fell asleep before the train got to the next stop, which is probably a couple of minutes away. I didn’t wake up till after the second last stop, which was about 25-30 minutes later. I just felt drained. I don’t know the cause – whether boredom and being jaded brings about tiredness or was it simply because I had been up since about 4.30am and my weekend really only started about Sunday 3pm.

On Friday night after crawling out of here just before 6pm, I headed home and had some people over for drinks and chats. A young couple was expecting their first baby anytime now and we thought we’d give them a final relaxing evening before the storms hit. So we were busy entertaining till about 10.30pm. I picked kiddo from church, got home and went to bed probably just before midnight.

Sat morning we were up around 6am, pottered around the house and then sent kiddo to church again for band practice around 8.30am. We then went for coffee, went to the dry cleaners, shopped for groceries and were heading home to do some house cleaning and other housekeeping chores when we got a call from the church chairperson about something which worried him and annoyed me. So we dropped my dry cleaning and shopping off at home and headed off to meet this chairperson and his wife.

By the time we finished thrashing out a few things it was time to pick kiddo up. It was about noon so we sent her for lunch, and she wanted to look around to upgrade our home broadband subscription. When that was all done it was nearly time to head off for the church board meeting at 2pm. The rest of the day was gone and at night we had promised Alex my mate we would drop in at his place. When I got home after the meeting it was a relief that the dog has been bathed and looked and smelled really good. Tress had cleaned him up so well, as well as done a whole truckload of housework. All I had to do was to cook kiddo a grilled lamb cutlets dinner, had a bite ourselves and with Tress we headed off to Alex’s.

When we got home it was time for bed and the next morning we were up again around 6am and because kiddo was playing in the band we headed off to church early. I had promised to have lunch with a couple of young adults so by the time that was done and we got home it was just a bit after 3pm. I took the dog out to the park and that was really good because for the first time in that weekend I had some time to clear my mind. I was thinking I really wanted to get on with doing something else other than to continue with this grind in my present job. Walking around in the footy oval while the dog ran around with other dogs, I could think really clearly. It is what I really want – to do something different.

That thought didn’t start the week well with me because I was just thinking about that constantly. My mind is not really focused now but until something concrete shows up I will continue to try finding contentment here. The work remains challenging if I don’t allow my state of mind to cloud matters. As interesting or challenging as it remains, with the way time passes so quickly, I really ought to look at doing that “something different” very quickly, but what?