Honesty and candour mark a mature relationship. I’m grateful for at least a couple of relationships where these characteristics have become apparent. There is however, an older relationship which I find it difficult test if it has lost that level of maturity.

On Saturday morning, we woke up at our usual 7-nish time. It was a bit of a waste because Melbourne was true to form and turned the time of year on its head. One week out before summer, the temperature dipped to single digit the night before and stayed that way for most of the day. It rained heavily too.

After getting my hazelnut coffee beans ground and percolated and pouring in a whipped steamy hot soy milk, I settled down to a leisurely quiet time. When that was done I started on some Board minutes for the church board. Closer to 8, I went to my barber. I didn’t want to waste time on a day with so much to do so I thought I’d get in just as he was opening and avoid any waiting.

After the haircut I stopped at the dry cleaners before going home to finish up the minutes and getting them printed. Tress had helped with the final edits and we both then drove to Box Hill to pick up my new pair of glasses.

I couldn’t put it off any longer and had to own up to my need for bifocals. Thankfully, technology has long erased the embarrassment that comes with obvious bifocals and multifocal lenses mean this phase of one’s ageing process is better hidden. We picked up my glasses, went back home and picked kiddo up and headed to Mulgrave.

A former partner of the Malaysian law firm I was in was in town for a short holiday. We had teed up a brunch to catch up. They (he and his wife) were living in Mulgrave, just a stone throw from the Hawks’ home. We caught up and talked about current Malaysian issues, including of course, the state and practice of law. Unexpectedly, the yum-cha at the New Royal Garden was a little disappointing this time around. The warmer and more cheerful service which was in abundance when we went there for dinner recently was manifestly absent.

After brunch we dropped my former partner off at the Glen where he was to meet someone. We wandered around for a bit and I then dropped Tress and Kiddo at the Century Walk. Tress and won a couple of movie tickets at work and they decided how Jimmy was going to find a quantum of solace. Apparently he is now closer to Bourne than Bond. I however, had to head off for the Board.

So while Tress and Kiddo toughed it out in the cinema, I attended a Board meeting in church. That went on till just after 4pm. Just as I was driving out of the church parking lot Tress sent me a text message. I called and said to meet at the bottle shop on the pretext that I needed to pick up a bottle for the pizza dinner at Simon and Margaret’s later that night.

We got home just after 5pm and I caught about half an hour of the Test match with our antipodeans neighbours. It has been a disaster of a match from the batting perspective. The 4 innings had a high score of 254 and NZ couldn’t get past 200 in both its innings. M Clark and Katich top scored in respective innings but relative newcomer speedster Johnson won MOTM. It wasn’t a memorable match by any means however so when it was time to head off for the final matter of the day, I was not unhappy to go.

Simon and Margaret live near Chadstone and many have raged on about the pizza joint just up the road from their home. We’d talked about it for a few months now and the previous Sunday, Simon said he was going to plan something. The email came late on in the week but we were more than happy to accept. I brought along a bottle (Pitchfork 2005 cab merlot, I think) and Tress also brought a little prezzie for Margaret – a baking dish Margaret had talked about buying some time ago.

The pizzas were great, as were the soup (pumpkin), salad and desert (poached pear with strawberry sauce and Venetian ice-cream. The best bit however, was the conversations which took place. The Chews were there and among the 3 couples, we talked well into the night, leaving close to 12.30am.

We had a break-up lunch, again at New Royal Garden the next day. The friend from Kew again drove and so we had to drive him home after. When we left his home it was just before 4 so we had to head back to Burwood in a hurry, to pick up my dry cleaning.  At lunch, Tress had taken a call to go over to another home for dinner, so after the dry cleaner’s we headed off to pick up some groceries to cook something.

So between reaching home at about 5pm and leaving again at 6.45pm, I cooked a couple of dishes, made the chicken for lunch the next day and basically put off the idea that the weekend was for some rest. I was using up the last few hours of a weekend cooking for a dinner I didn’t feel like going to.

At dinner however, we talked and in as much as I had been reluctant to be there, these were good mates of ours so I enjoyed the conversations. They, like the ones the night before, were honest, open, and were driven by our desire for everyone else to get on better with their respective lives.

Each of those conversations which took place on Saturday and Sunday nights emanated from someone who have been wrestling with some issues. We all knew of those issues and although we (Tress and I) didn’t always have the details, we always knew that the main characters have been carrying those matters on their weary shoulders for a long time. We freely dispensed our views for we were with good friends but we also shared their weights and have been wanting to do various things to help them alleviate the burdens. The candour, honesty and sincerity made for a very fulfilling exchange and though of course we didn’t solve anything, I sincerely hope the sessions provided the affected persons with an outlet which hopefully facilitated a fresh and renewed charge to deal with those matters.

On the other hand, I feel I wasn’t able to engage my mate from my previous firm on the same level. We have not worked together or for almost 5 years now. I have also had minimal contact with him the past 2-3 years, so it was only natural I guess, that we couldn’t connect the same way. I hope however, that he does okay. He looked tired (don’t all working lawyers, huh?). Work no doubt places a lot of weight on one’s mind. On the other hand, not having a vocation or any work to wake up to places a different sort of stress on a person. Seeking the sweet spot of balance is a perpetual endeavour.

A mate of mine is financially very well off. He has amassed a little fortune from Malaysia and has little or no need to do any work. Yet, every time we see him he doesn’t look fulfilled. He looks a little restless even. Maybe it has to do with his constant complaints about someone in Malaysia who owes him a large sum of money. I think however that it is his sense of not having a vocation which has caused his restlessness. He appears to find it hard to settle on a peaceful equilibrium. Compare that with another friend of ours, who is not as well off. He and his wife both work hard, have 3 children who are at ages most damaging to parents’ kitty and have only settled on a purchasing a home recently. They appear however, to be more at peace and happier. I attribute to that to work. A man is meant to work. Someone who consistently doesn’t wake up to a pre-determined set of activities and tasks soon lose a certain personal bearing, which leads to all sorts of consequences.

Anyway, this piece is more about communications and relationships and how openness and maturity lead to such immense meaning and satisfaction.

Blood at work

I recently went to the blood bank. It was the second time. The first time was a bit unnerving. The second time was just as bad, especially since they said I couldn’t donate this time, due to a low haemoglobin count. In any case, somehow knowing what to expect doesn’t seem to do any good in this instance. The experience didn’t seem to help.

There has been some wrestling going on between heads of departments in my workplace. I guess it was a bit of sword waving. No blood letting – yet. The company recently entered into a major agreement with a biggish entity and this agreement represents a significant investment with significant returns.

However, another biggish client who is an ordinary course of business client hasn’t been too happy with this new relationship. This client is about to absorb this other entity and has recently spoken to the company’s main contact person about reviewing that relationship. Potential conflicts of interests galore on the surface. In reality interests may be consistently aligned across the board, at least for the short term. Contractually however, the company is obligated in ways which require client communication to be managed in a different way.

So what does the Legal department do in a situation like this? Pretty easy answer, but the consequences and the implications are complex. If not handled properly, it could mean dire consequences, including loss of jobs. It wouldn’t be just a consequence of shutting down a section of operations but also that the major agreement was entered into in the face of adverse numbers or factors. It wouldn’t be pretty.

The whole thing is a bit political. Characters seeking to look after number 1 will act in ways which aren’t wise from the corporate perspective. The numbers which are immediately available aren’t the only numbers involved and a conflicted person would either not see, refuse to see or refuse to be affected by them. It is often difficult to deal with such characters. It often ends in blood letting. No matter how often one goes through it, one never gets used to it. It doesn’t become easier. It’s a bit like a visit to the blood bank.

Royal Trinity

 

A cousin flew in from Perth on business mid week. We caught up, together with another cousin and his parents, over dinner at the New Royal Garden restaurant. The somewhat hefty bill was hijacked by the Western Australian relative. I love WA hospitality. I had thought that as “hosts”, I’d pick up the tab. It was great to have family catch up this way.

An ex partner (of the legal practice) is in town for a short holiday. I caught up with him and his wife for drinks on Monday night and will be seeing them again for brunch on Saturday. I have booked the New Royal Garden for that.

This Sunday, the home group I belong to wants to hold a break-up meal. New Royal Garden is a favourite restaurant of a member in that group. So guess where we will be going?

Three visits to the same restaurant in one week suggests the restaurant must be really good or we don’t know many other places. New Royal Garden restaurant is on the south-west corner of Blackburn Road and High Street Road, in Mount Waverley. It is probably the closest Chinese restaurant to us which serves decent food. In fact it is quite good. A couple of joints nearer our home are to be avoided as much as possible. The “Treasure” on Springvale is pretty good but it is also rather more expensive.

Kiddo’s Saturday class is at the Mount Waverley Secondary College. As it turned out therefore, that restaurant is also a convenient one when we need to drop her off her for class. 3 strikes in a week.

 

Time flown by – Muir 04

 

This time 4 years ago, I had just signed a lease for our first home in Melbourne. I remember looking at the house and thought it would suit, given its proximity to the Mount Waverley Primary School. We had decided on that school for kiddo and had enrolled her for Year 6 when we settled into that home.

18 Muir Street, Mount Waverley was an old house. It was however clean and well maintained. The kitchen was recently renovated and it was bright and very clean. It had a few disadvantages. The carpet was gaudy (but clean), the over was electric (including the burners) and it did not have any storage – no garage or shed. Other than that it was perfect for us.

It had 3 bedrooms. The one in the front was very big. The middle one was average sized and the one right at the back was probably an add-on. It had newer carpet and had a tiny ensuite. That became the master bedroom. Kiddo decided (via pictures I sent via the internet) she wanted the front room. We converted the dining room into a study and the family meals area became our dining.

With the lease secured, I had gone about purchasing necessities. I spent several days assembling beds, tables and shelves and got appliances installed. In total I spent something like 3 weeks full-on doing up the place, after which I packed up and went back to Malaysia to get Tress and kiddo. Time has really flown by.

 

 

This weekend Tress and I drove out to Kew on Friday night, Saturday noon and today again around 3pm. Friday night a friend of ours who should be behind the sterring wheel ( he has a disability) somehow drove himself to our home. I drove him back later that night in his car, and Tress followed with our Nissan.

Yesterday noon, after dropping kiddo off for her class, we decided to kill the 1 hour by driving to Hawthorn for my boss’ auction sale of her home.

Today, the friend who drove to our home on Friday night needed a ride again after church. We went for lunch with him and a couple of other families, after which we drove him home. We took the opportunity to visit Ikea in Richmond after that.

Somehow I think we’d continue the Kew drives for a while yet. No worries.

It’s Remembrance Day but my work has been threatening to swamp me over

Work

I have been desperately trying to catch up with work. It is a rapidly mounting heap. 2 days away, rising early to log on to clear some work each day, and trying to do something on the weekend, hasnt done much to reduce the backlog. The business must be frustrated. I know it is. We are a team of 3 lawyers trying to do work meant for 5 probably. For now, at least.

I’m glad therefore, that someone will be starting on Monday. I have better feelings about this one than the previous person. I think this person has a better chance of working out. I hope so.

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Year-end program

A couple of days ago Tress and I wondered what we could and should do this summer. Kiddo toyed with the idea of returning to Malaysia – alone – for a holiday. I’m convinced she can manage it, up to a point. I am concerned about the risks at the KLIA end, when she arrives. There are simply too many dodgy monkeys there and if for some reason there’s a gap between when she arrives and whoever is meant to pick her up shows up, I’d go beserk. Anyway, that thought has subsided for now. The latest thinking is maybe Sydney, during the second half of Jan 09.

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Kiddo stuff

She has a recital Thursday night, in her school. Then it’s the music/piano exams on Friday. Meantime, she has been busy with a raft of things – schoolwork, youth stuff in church and basically just parking herself in front of the PC looking very engaged. She’s dived in totally with an English piece she has had to do, on the Dead Poets’ Society yet again. There’s also been the usual maths and science stuff, which I find myself being able to help her less and less now, and I dont think it has anything to do with age.  What a bummer.

Ageing…

Speaking of age – we went to the optometrist over the weekend. After challenging me to relax when she was jabbing a cylinde in the direction of my eyes, our optometrist friend gave the expected bad news. I am now required to have long sighted lenses on top of my shortsighted one. Multifocals. For now at least, that sounds like a terribl insult. An almighty slap in the wrinkled face.  Not to mention the prohibitive costs too. The medical insurance would cover less than half, so there goes another hole in the pockets.

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I dont know therefore, why I work as hard (at least I think I do) as I have been working. The ageing process is unlikely to abate soon – I should be spending my time on other stuff…

Obama – what a phenomenon.  Some right wing Christian groups, even here in Australia, would not be happy.

I’m in Sydney today, for a 2 day conference. Arrived last night, on a very delayed Qantas flight. I keep wondering why we pay premium prices for consistently delayed flights. I think we should opt for Virgin Blue as a first preference instead.