Malaysian politics – now Rais Yatim wants an explanation from the Turkish Ambassador. More show, I guess. The tired old argument of interfering with internal matter is dragged out, yet again. It wont fly. No one lives in an insulated setting anymore. But of course, Malaysian politics move at a different level – mostly gutter level.

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And so it starts again. There is no turning back in a decent and honourable way for this BN government. It has spawned a cancerous breed of corruption and bloody-mindedness which can only be cleansed by a major surgical procedure. This BN government can only recognise brute force or like approach because that is what it is – it is a brutish ogre that has no place for reason. It has lost all sense of what is right, proper or honourable. It doesn’t care that it isn’t right, proper or honourable. In Zimbabwe the world has to now tackle a single person. Mugabe is the disease which must be lobbed off for the country to begin its recuperation process. In Malaysia, there is no one person (they are all too weak and incapable individually) – it is the BN machinery which has to be removed. The whole coalition, chiefly the sick, rotting and contaminating UMNO, must be removed, as cleanly as possible, before the country can harbour any hopes of convalescence.

Despite my misgivings about Anwar and his latest unsavoury manoeuvrings to assent to power, this latest attempt to derail him would have been sad and pathetic if it isn’t so malicious and contemptuous of all things right and decent. It is despicable for its gutter level approach and this time around, fortunately, it is greeted with the sort of contempt it deserves.

Long have I said this but I will say it again. The current state of matters can only have an ugly outcome. It has pushed a generally well behaved and decent population too far off the edge and there can only be sustained reaction now, until BN is crushed and removed.

Anwar has accused the chief police, Musa Hassan (with the title of Inspector General of Police) and the Attorney General, Gani Patail, as the villains in the latest episode. These may very well be the villains in play at the moment but it is a result of the UMNO ogre which has spawned way beyond its control or understanding. Law enforcement agencies and arms are no different to other machineries of the administration – each go about seeking its own agenda, which often simply means the private interests of the person helming that body.

Musa Hassan and Gani Patail have longed been accused of corruption but have been allowed to continue functioning without even a hint of interruption to their exercising their very vast powers. They are only too happy to help Ministers attain their private and individual goals and agenda because that is in line with their practices of securing their private interests. It is like a thief seeking solace by helping others steal. They have been able to reach this level of impunity because their political masters have been playing the same game for decades. At some stage you’d expect these tools of UMNO to say screw it, I’m going to have a piece of the action myself. That stage is at hand now.

This may or may not have been signed off by UMNO senior figures, but it certainly has designs to also benefit them. Their chief agitator and threat is neutralised and attention is shifted away from their individual problems. Dollah Badawl is spared a few moments where attention is not focused on his inaptitude and Najib Razak is given a respite from the Mongolian heat. Win-win for the Dollah-Najib comic act and the Musa-Gani henchmen.

Or maybe there is a grand design to orchestrate the required background for the rulers to step in and call on the army? Would there be conflict between the police and the armed forces at the horizon? The country is thrown into even deeper turmoil. Who cares for the ordinary folks on the streets? BN has long ceased to care for them and the others have thus far failed to be convincing. Their livelihood continues to suffer and those who can, continue to leave in droves. At a dinner with some friends last night, we were told of yet more families who are planning to make the move here. Sometimes it is not a good feeling to be vindicated. I wish I was wrong, for saying all these years that Malaysia is at point break and only unpleasant ends will usher in changes. I wasn’t. We may well be about to witness some serious argy bargy.

It was a busy day at work on Monday. When I got home and settled down, ABC’s Four Corner program was just starting and Tress and I sat down to watch it. The feature story was on a church which has “branches” all over Australia. The main one under the microscope was in Brisbane.
It was under the microscope because a number of ex members have spoken out against it. They have been members for many years. One of them was a member for 27 years. They all left because they thought the elders had way too much control over the members’ lives. They had so much control they were breaking up families – separating children from parents and preventing couples from remaining together.
That church was called the Brisbane Christian Fellowship and the main pastor (elder) is Vic Hall. It has such an innocuous name and Vic Hall sounded like your typical pastor or church elder.
Most of the ex-members who were interviewed traced the early signs of inappropriateness to when the elders started to say they had specific “word” or instructions from God. They heard things from God. Someone asked why it was that God was always speaking to Vic but had never once spoken to that member. I looked at Tress when those members raised this point and she knew what I was thinking of.
I have always had problems with church leaders or pastors who claimed they received specific word from God. How does one ever verify it? The only way to validate it would be to check with the scriptures and if you’re going to have to do that, why wouldn’t you just rely on the scriptures as the first and last instance? Why is that word required from men, except when the word of God required teaching in an expository context say? And, as the member of that Brisbane church said, why is it that God chooses to speak to the same people all the time and never to others? It is all too flaky and not verifiable for me to pay any attention.
Somehow when one is expounding on the scriptures and a message is said to have come from God from that part of the scripture, the spotlight is on God and what He has to say. However when someone claims he has a “word” from God, the spotlight tends to be more on that person as opposed to God. That person becomes a star, whether or not he or she intended it that way. I half suspect that is why that sort of exercise is carried out in the first place – ie some people centred circus atmosphere is created. Somehow God alone as conveyed through the scriptures isn’t enough. I think that is rubbish.
Unfortunately that attracts an aura and somehow creates the impression that there is more credibility. I think instances where God spoke directly to a person as opposed to via the scriptures are very rare and would be for very specific purposes. If someone constantly tells me God spoke to that person on all kinds of things but makes no reference to the scriptures, I’d be very suspicious.
Vic Hall used it to exert control over the members. By constantly asserting that he heard from God, he makes himself a very important person. Obviously this allows him to better control the lives of the members.
I believe church leaders ought to give members as much freedom as possible, so long as that freedom doesn’t involve creating or practising principles or values which are inconsistent with the teachings of the scriptures. On a personal note, I find it a little unsettling that we have chosen to exert control in terms of home group attendance. While there is wisdom in levelling things out and ensuring each group has sufficient resources, this must not be at the expense of members’ fulfilment, which must be of paramount consideration. Last Friday when we had a social night in our home, there were hints that it required elders’ approval. Personally I thought that was very odd. Members should never have to seek approval for that sort of thing – I told Tress that it was a joke and we should just meet regardless of what elders say or think.
This is at odds with my new role in church, as part of the committee of leaders. I’m not an elder though. Nevertheless being a leader will not make me stop saying what I think. Members are free to meet wherever and whenever they wish, as long as such meetings don’t involve activities which are inconsistent with the teachings of the scriptures. For example, last Friday all we did in our home was chat and caught up with each other. The 20+ people who were there consumed a grand total of 3 bottles of wine. I didn’t have to open a fourth. In fact the first bottle was opened the day before and I had had a glass from it. So that was approximately 1 drink per person – safe enough. There was also no activity to go against the scripture – there were no backstabbing, no fights, and certainly no orgies.
Maybe it was just a miscommunication. I have been in this church for over 3.5 years now and I have never sensed any elder or leader trying to control any aspect of any member’s life. The brushes with experiences of receiving “word” are also thinning out and if it is only something in the background and it doesn’t become the modus operandi, I’m not all that bothered. There are more important issues and tasks at hand. I don’t think we are anywhere near the danger of becoming a Brisbane Christian Fellowship, as portrayed in that Four Corners program.
 

Tress and I both took the day off today. It is our anniversary. 16 years ago today, I was nervous and Tress was…probably having her hair done. Stupidly, I allowed myself to go under the same hairdresser’s butchery. That twerp gave me a coiffure I would never forget. For all the wrong reasons. Thankfully he was trained to mess up only men’s hair. Tress’ hair he was much more respectful.

We dropped Kiddo off at the station to go to school, came back and got ready for a tradesman to come and fix our doors and windows. We’re putting up grilles. We’ll have a nice lunch when they’re done, and some church people are coming tonight for drinks. I wonder what sort of day it’ll turn out as I’m sneaking in a meeting to probe that “door” as well.

I am happy where I am now – good work, good colleagues and decent pay. I am however giving some thoughts to what I should really be doing. I want to do something which gives me peace with my Maker. He has opened a door, just a little ajar maybe but it is open. I have a duty to at least take a peek. The rest is up to Him.

Well momentarily, that is. For about an hour and a half on Saturday, I felt like a gardnener. Or a farmer. I was tilling a plot of ground in church, to loosen the earth, smoothen it out and scatter manure soil on it. It was a working bee weekend and a lady had wanted to plant something – she couldnt decide then if it was going to be flowers or vegetables – and a few of us undertook the task of preparing the plot. It was the only thing I knew how to do.

Tress and Kiddo were in church too – cleaning the internal areas. Earlier that morning we had gone to Kew to get Kiddo’s school shoes. By the time we finished in church, sent kiddo to her class at mid day and picked her up after, it was almost 2pm. Then it was home to clean our own home. It was all done just about 4.30pm. After washing up and cooking dinner, we went to pick up a DVD – Last Legion, supposed to be a story about Roman child emperor Romulus and Caesar’s sword which became the Excalibur. Frankly it was a whisker away from a B grade flick. Colin Firth was ridiculous as a Roman general and Ben Kingsley was comical as Ambrosinus who became Merlin. Even the beautiful Aishwarya Rai couldnt save it. In fact she looked ridiculous as well, as a warrior. Not much worse than Xena but only just. What a farce. At least it was a fruitful, satisfying and relaxing day.

Tomorrow, I have to sit in for my boss in a budet and planning session. It’s going to be offsite at Port Melbourne and I am not looking forward to it. There is too much work in office and the 2-day session is going to push my work back badly. Ah well, it is all part of work, part of my very real existence.

I have said for a long time now, that Mahathir is the worst thing to have happened to Malaysia. Not long after the Asian financial crisis, I was astounded when I met young fresh graduates who adored Mahathir. They said “he has made Malaysia what it is today (ie around 2002-3)”. Little did they realise the insight of what they said. Truly, Malaysia is what it is today mostly because of what Mahathir did. Sure he pushed for major structures to be built but were those structures what Malaysia truly needed and could the money have been better spent on other avenues? More importantly, in pushing for his agenda to be implemented, what did he incur in terms of institutional costs? He wrecked the judiciary and civil service as well as government linked enterprises including Petronas. Malaysian judges are now a joke and as a consequence, the legal profession has ben dragged down. Now, a Malaysian lawyer is no longer respected in the Commonwealth, at least not as much as he used to be.

Mahathir’s attempts to look and sound righteous fly against all these revelations. First the Lingam tapes scandal and now the Ian Chin disclosures. Both show him to be the contemptuous and manipulative bully that he is, one who cares not for age old institutions and does not look beyond the long term integrity of frameworks and procedures, only his immediate causes. These were often the wealth of his cronies and family. What a shameless man.

I’m breaking down. I have had 2 colds in less than 4 weeks. I feel cold even when I am walking out of the gym, having just made enough sweat to soak my entire t-shirt barely 20 minutes earlier. I now habitually wear my overcoat and a scarf. It is only the first week of winter. It is still only between 6-9 deg in the morning. It is foggy. It hasn’t however reached 0 yet. So it will get worse. I cannot break down now. I dont want this constant sneezing and nose clogging this early in winter.

I think our house feels cold. Tuesday night I got back a bit late. The fuel tank in our Nissan was low. Tress says to have it filled. However she suggested I went home first because otherwise dinner would turn cold. I agreed. I normally wouldn’t mind cold dinner. I am however, breaking down. I feel cold these days. I want hot dinners. I went home first and had hot just-steamed bok choy, salmon and a few boiled dumplings. All wonderfully hot. When I finished, Gordon Ramsay was starting. But the Nissan needed fuel. So I went back out into the cold. The overcoat had to come off the hanger again. As did the scarf. I even pulled on a beanie when I thought about standing around at the petrol kiosk.

Car filled, I got back to catch Gordon. Watched him in between preparing lunch. That soul food looked much better than the chicken/sprout/cottage cheese sandwich I was making. Logged back on to check some work stuff from the boss. Feeling cold. 2nd glass of very cheap and ordinary red (Somerton Merlot, 87 Vicki Street standard issue, under 5 bucks) didn’t seem to help. I crawled into bed when I finally gave in to the idea of warm comfort under the doona. Doona which has been warming up with the aid of the electric blanket. Even that wasn’t warm enough. I was still cold. So I kept my jumper on. I slept in it. It was not good. It was an old jumper for sure, but the idea of sleeping in my woolen jumper made me feel … not right. But I did. I was cold. I’m breaking down.

I don’t know why that happens. Wear and tear I suppose. It happens to all of us. Even to John McCain, Vietnam heroics and presidential campaign notwithstanding. An ex boss will turn 70 this year. He was very active – taichi, rigorous walks and robust relationship with his wines. He puts in a full day’s work everyday, often late into the night as well. Both his physical and mental fitness pose great challenges to his younger colleagues. Lawyers in their 40s often have poor health – their affinity for money (and thus the work required to generate it ) and booze is a deadly combination. Hard to believe I know but work sometimes takes a life of its own and lawyers take to it independent of the money attached. This doesn’t change anything. The long hours remain, the stress continues and the booze is still required. Many become a physical wreck. They die of either a stroke or cardiovascular disease at a relatively young age. I want to get off this track. I want to live. But I’m breaking down. And feeling cold…

It’s just a few more days before autumn officially ends. It has been a beautiful autumn this year. Tress, kiddo and I have paid special attention to the changing colours of leaves on the many trees near our home. The usual green has turned, first into yellow, then red and then brown before leaving ‘bald” branches altogether for the winter.         

We have noticed this and loved it, since we first got here and this time around, we have been able to pay particular attention and soak it all in. It’s beautiful. The rain too, has been more consistent and we hope that does something to our water levels and the drought problem can be alleviated a little bit.
The falling leaves have been a constant issue for us. The tree just next to our car port is tallish, with small crisp leaves which have fallen incessantly. Kiddo has been raking very well and clearing the driveway and our front lawn. On dry days I use the blower to clear it but it has been wet of late and so kiddo’s work has been great. Walking in to the office every morning is also a constant reminder of what a beautiful time autumn really is. St Kilda Road, all the way from Federation Square to Princess Highway, is lined with large trees – oaks, maple, and a few other varieties which I know nothing about. The pathways outside my office are always piled a few inches thick with fallen maple leaves. Every night when I leave the office someone is working the blower to clear the walkways, only to have them piled up again when I get in the next morning.
Soon the leaves would stop falling. Winter would be upon us.

Already it has started to get a lot colder. We have stopped wandering around in shorts and thongs and have been decked out in our woollen garb. Tress and Kiddo have taken to snuggling up under the blanket in front of the telly. Tress usually drifts off to dreamland before too long – the telly is a wonderful sleep inducing tool, especially lately – there has been a dearth of good programs. Winter usually sees the best telly shows served up. Maybe it has been because of our busyness, especially on weekends. We have not been sitting down to a peaceful night at home on a Saturday, for months now. Maybe that is why we have not picked up a good night’s viewing lately.

I guess that is a good thing. Spending next to no time unwinding at home means we have been spending a lot of time with others. Yet I feel this has tired us considerably, causing me to lose focus in various areas. I am really someone who is a whole lot more comfortable reading a good book or watching a great movie (with a glass of red, of course) than being at a dinner party or such other social events. At these events, I don’t get to think about what’s stimulating my thoughts and senses. Someone says something and it is usually blasé or inconsequential. Seldom does anyone have a refreshing idea. Maybe we are just too nice. There is no attempt to extend the boundary of our relationships. Maybe it is just tiredness. I just need some time to chill out. I have been a bit wound up recently and obviously that hasn’t been good.

It is approaching the middle of the year now. Footy season is half-way, and the football season in Europe has ended. No more early Sunday morning internet result surfing to see how United went the night before. No more looking up to see which team United would be up against in the next round of a cup competition. No more looking up league table positions. United is champion of Europe, as well as domestically. What a glorious season it has been – not quite the holy grail of a treble. Pompey beat us and won the FA Cup competition but if there was one title we had to forego, that would be the one, no question. It’s about time “Arry” (Harry Redknapp) had a medal anyway. I missed Moscow (A mate in Malaysia had secured match tickets but NY office personnel was in town and I was booked for a meeting on the morning of the match! Plus, visa was a hassle) but had a glorious recording. I had to leave for work when the first period of extra time was drawing to a close, and I followed proceedings via sms with a mate in Malaysia. The short “we won” made me let out a little shout, which of course embarrassed kiddo and Tress. When we pulled into the railway station, there was a single parking spot left at the far end of the lot. Kiddo said this was a good omen and in retrospect, that was so true. United won it only at the very end and only just.  It was a great day. I already had my United tie on, notwithstanding that meeting with NY head office blokes first thing that morning. I ended that day with another meeting in the city so left for home earlier than usual. All in all, it really was a very good day.

Well all that’s in the past now. I have decided, since about 2 years ago, to follow the Hawks in the footy for no reason in particular, except they are the ones closest to where we live. So I guess this is what I look forward to on weekends now. I will however, never be a fan of the Hawks in the way I have been with United.

That may be a sad existence – following a football team from half way across the dying earth. Perhaps it is. It is however, a form of escapism which is probably healthier than many other forms of escapism. Making belief, pretending to be someone else in online forums, making up stories – these are arguably worse forms. But I could be wrong. For now however, the falling leaves and changing weather are real. My endless attempts to catch up on work are real. United’s triumphs are real. My experiences with my family and friends are real. Autumn is here and almost gone, and the seasons continues to turn.