Good behaviour often disappears or takes on an unimportant role, when it comes to dealings on the internet. When we deal with a person in person, we tend to be more conscious about good behaviour. We greet each other properly, we smile, ask questions to ascertain what has been going on in the other person’s life and how they have been travelling along. If we are meeting for a specific reason, after exchanging those pleasantries we talk in a civil way, about the issues we were meeting to discuss. We then part by wishing each other well and exchange some vague statements about meeting again.

Faced with a computer screen, a keyboard and a mouse however, it is easier to dispense with those niceties. We are less reserved about being abrupt, rude and dispensing with civil behaviour. We are more prone to letting our mood dictate how we behave. I’m sure some psychologists or social scientists somewhere have made the necessary research and published their findings on why this is so. It’s not difficult however to imagine why that may be so.

I imagine internet dealings – and I mean by this, simple email exchanges, making online journal/blog entries, commenting on articles and entries, chatting on forums and online communities, social networking and even short messages (SMS), although I understand SMS is not an internet medium. I imagine dealings through the internet in fact require more, not less, civil behaviour. You need to be nicer on the internet, not more rude and abrupt.

The reason for this is simple. For one, it is a more open medium. When 2 persons have coffee and chat, at worst you have the 1-2 tables near you eavesdropping on you and you’d have maybe up to half a dozen people observing you and you’d have to be on your best behaviour to avoid sounding like an uncouth mongrel. Even if one was rude in that meeting and word of that bad behaviour spreads, it would only spread in a limited circle.

On the internet however, an email can be forwarded and make its way around the world very quickly. The infamous sandwich thief in a law firm in London CBD became notorious all over the world within a couple of days. Likewise, the lawyer who behaved badly towards his PA via email and the young investment bank intern who was the embodiment of a spoilt brat in an invitation sent in an email, all graced the pantheon of rude people through the medium of the internet, very quickly. It is a very public medium and deceptively so because it is easy for the originator of a rude piece to think it was just between the computer screen, the keyboard, the mouse and the recipient. It was in fact visible to the world at large.

The other reason is of course, the “paper” trail. When you are rude to your companion in a café, you could easily deny it afterwards. The 1-2 tables around you would soon forget or couldn’t be bothered. Very soon, it is forgotten. Your companion may spread the word of your rudeness but the exact version of what actually transpired would thin out every time it is shared with the next person. There is no smoking gun or bloody trails to forever remind you of how badly you behaved. On the internet however, there is no such luck. It is often a case of shooting oneself in the foot because the evidence that is created by the rude person himself or herself is likely to be found in many computers and can always be traced or retrieved. It is written material that can easily constitute a record of events. All you need is computer forensic to prove the writer (computer) and the date and you pretty much nail it. From the perspective of evidence, you’d be much better off being rude in person rather than on the internet. Unless of course, you either do not mind being or appearing to be rude and you do not mind continuing to be perceived as rude.

Which is why, I had in the past, shied away from blogs which could only appear interesting if it is rude and crass. Never mind that it is popular – if the price of popularity on the web is crass language and rude write ups, then it is too high a price. Maybe I’m a prude. But then again maybe I’m not. I sincerely think rudeness and crassness, when used sparingly and discriminately, can be funny, given the right context. However if there is no basis, context or cause for it and if it is the persistent theme that gives it the attractiveness, it should be tossed out in a hurry. Likewise for comments.