t has been a little crazy at work this week. While it has been interesting and challenging, I have not had this much work since left KL. For the first time, I have had to battle deadlines. Of course, a lot of it has to do with the fact that I still leave office relatively early – between 6.30 and 7 on most days. I think I put undue pressure on myself in terms of getting home early. I keep telling myself I want to hit the sack no later than 10.30, preferably by 10, That means if I don’t get out of the office by 7, I wont have a comfortable 1.5 hours each night, which is just about enough to give me a half-hour legs up with a glass of wine to unwind and get ready to sleep. I usually need about an hour for dinner and cleaning up, washing up my gym gear, making lunches, packing away my stuff and maybe catch half hour or so of reading my email and read 1 or 2 of my favourite websites. If only I don’t wake up at 5 in the morning, the pressure would be eased, I think. The schedule would all just have a little more room. But then that would just let me leave office a little later each day and make me a little lazier to get to the gym in the morning. I don’t know. I think I’d stick to my present regime, unless I am absolutely required to put in more hours to finish my work.
Actually, things have been going okay at work. This is an extract of an email my boss sent around (late) last night:
“All, I also want to let you know that (the MD’s) first comment to me during our monthly 1-1 meeting today was that he thinks that you are all doing an excellent job. He discussed my performance as well but actually spoke about each of you individually and made the point that as a department we are going ‘really well’, which I understood during the conversation to mean very effective and cohesive. His view was formed based on the very positive feedback he received from the business – (the MD) said he went out and asked for feedback about the service each of us provides. That reflects well on me, and for that I would like to say thanks.
Looking forward to receiving your KPIs, so you each have proof of just how hard you are working. “
Maybe that was just a psychological ploy to push us harder and set some really high KPIs. I don’t know. If I play along, would it be suicidal and/or counter-productive? I don’t want to have to play the game of career versus God and family again, having left all that behind in KL. On the other hand, if I play it down, the boss may think I’m not getting with the program and setting too low targets for myself? I am after all, on contract and do I want to give them a reason to look at someone from HK for a long term placement here, or do I want them to like me well enough to say – Ian’s it? I am the incumbent here, and how much should I leverage on that?
Really though, I do like this place. The people here are gracious (mostly), nice (mostly), hardworking (almost always) and smart (mostly). I have not had any major faux pas so far (I think) and save for some old habits and residual Malaysian flavour, have fitted in reasonably well (again, I think).
I know, the lessons of end 06/early 07 suggests I should focus on God and just get on with it. I know my present work is not the be-all and end-all stuff. Yet, work has always been important. Important enough to make me miserable if I don’t have any, or if it doesn’t satisfy. I need to turn on a different switch and let God be the satisfier of my soul instead, and turn the focus around to see God as the object of my life – not work, not satisfying my soul even. Just to pursue God and his purpose as the be-all and end-all. If he provides work while I’m at it, then so be it. Maybe with that, I’d actually be able to work better. Not for its own sake, but as His tailored version, for me, of the “here am I, send me” bit.
Ante 