Month: February 2007

Alone Tonight


I have been a little upset with Kiddo. She has been a bit of a slob. Maybe it’s the onset of adolescence. Yesterday, I chided her for her pile of clothes in her bathroom. Today, I told her off for her pile of books where she was sitting. She is becoming a bit of a bohemian. I liked that, but I also worried whether she would be able to take care of herself when she becomes a full-on adult. In my current state however, my worries about her didnt come out too well. It came across more as a grumpy old man with an axe to grind, more so than as a father who is worried about her daughter whom he loves and adores.

She too, got upset and a little while after dinner, she went upstairs to read on her on. I felt bad, but the father in me made her come downstairs to do some work for her coming music exams. Yet, the act of forcing her to do something against her wishes pained even me, so after about half an hour, I went up to her, offered to make her a drink, which she declined. I jumped on a computer, came across a fun test (“Which of the ‘Heroes’ personality are you?” test) and told her about it, as she is a great fan of that show. She got excited, and that gave the both of us an excuse for her to take a break from her work and she too, took that test. She was a Micah (the little kid of that lady who has split personalities everytime she looked into a mirror) and I was a Matt, the cop who could hear people’s thoughts.

The tests eased things a little, she continued with her work and I jumped back on the web and blog surfed. I looked around for more stuff on James Cameron’s latest attempt at notoriety, but found little to add to Ben Witherington’s offerings, so blog surfed on a more fun and light hearted note. I came across these sites.

Thus far, a Vince Peters (who runs a firm out in multi-whoop), Robert James (a CBD firm), Bryant (anor CBD firm) have offered glimpses of hopes. So, I have less excuses to befriend Mac.

Earlier today, Cheng Sian (a 50 something man with grandchildren) from church called to see me about some legal problems he’s been having. He wants to meet in Jell’s Park to discuss this. I think this is weird. Why cant we meet to talk about this over coffee in some cafe, or even in his or my home? Why Jell’s Park?!!! Again, I feel like a gay making a rendezvous for some illicit sex, so I think I’m gonna call him tomorrow and cancel this wretched thing. I’d leave it to him to figure out how weird this is and that this was the reason I wont be discussing his legal problems. Man!!!

Right now, Kiddo has gone to bed, wifey has snoozed off on the sofa, and I’m blog surfing. Are we a typical family? I know I dont feel normal. The De Bortelli, a Melot which has been a companion for the last 2 hours, would remain one. I hope something would happen before the week is out but that is all in His Plans, isnt it? ….

It’s the Afterlife, Stupid.


Every now and then, Cecilia, the warm and friendly sister in our church, would come up to me and ask me to help distribute the bread and grape juice for the communion. This morning, she asked again. I really didnt feel like it, but she really is such a warm and friendly person so I said yes. I only barely made it to church. My heart wasnt there. As I looked at the screen on the wall and read all those words to those songs, I agreed, mostly, intellectually. Emotionally, I felt as cold and dead as a dead salmon in a kodiak bear’s mouth.

Jason, the “pastor’ of our church, prayed something to the effect that someone would feel God’s presence and work in his life. I thought that prayer may have been meant for me, as he had called me on Friday, and I declined his invitation to dinner or discussion of any kind. He knew I was having a tough time. Maybe it was just my ego and his prayer could have been meant for someone else. I cared little, as I have concluded that Jesus is all about saving our souls. He is solely about our salvation, and our concerns here on these terrestial shores, should be exclusively on the afterlife. Yes, we have to in the meanwhile, live this life and carry on with the waking up, working out, working, eating and all the other stuff we normally do. But that is all humbug. That is all meant to play second fiddle to the main show, which is getting ready for the real thing. So, what – you are sick? Hang in there, it’s all gonna end anyway. You’re heartbroken after a messy divorce? Never mind, just hang in there and God would be your companion for life in no time. Tired of trying to live this life more meaningfully? Try forgetting this life and concentrate on the next instead, and you’d be a lot fresher for it. At least that’s my conclusion – the Bible is all about the next life. God cares. He loves us. He is concerned about us. The big context is – it’s all about the afterlife, about our salvation in THAT life.

So, yes I agree with everything Jason and TT Quah (preacher for this morning) said, with the big proviso that it is all about our salvation, about the afterlife. As far as this life, this here and now business is concerned however, … like the mob would say, “forget about it”. Just enjoy your life if you can, and que sera sera.

Kiddo’s busy weekend, Famous Ex-Colleague


Today is a busy day for Kiddo. She has been wrapping herself with our church’s youth group and with the music exam around the corner and extra tuition classes, her plate’s pretty full. She’s been out almost all day today and except for a couple of hours in the morning and about an hour in the afternoon, all of which were filled up with her music exam work.

Last night we gave the Home Group a miss. Kiddo had earlier said that we have not been going out for dinner for a while now, so we drove out to Doncaster for dinner at the TGIF there. We then picked up a couple DVDs and came back home to watch one of them.

I dont know what to make of our (my) current situation with the Home Group. Frankly, I dont think  I can take anymore of those talks about people receiving messages and visions from God. God telling X this and saying that to Y. It happens all the time, when as much as I seek Him, I have received diddly squat. NEVER had I received any word which I was 100% sure was from Him, except what I read in the Bible. So, being around people in the HG frustrates me no end and is totally contrary to my personal experience. I dont think I fit in there.

I think when Jesus said “seek and you shall find”, he was only talking about our salvation, ie if we seek God in Him (Jesus) , we will find. I have not experienced this promise in any other context. I dont know, maybe one day He would let me. So far however (over 27 years as a Christian and over 5 years of actively pursuing Him), my experience suggests that is the case.

I’m just about to watch an ex-colleague on YouTube. Edmund Bon is always a bit of an off the wall character. He’d strut around the office without a shirt late at night (11pm, say), when the air con has been turned off in the office. His  raw potato white skin with a protruding paunch which is strange for a relatively skinny bloke, is a sight to rival Rosemary’s Baby. He’d use mixed metaphors all the time (in his chinaman style), use the most inapt illustrations (though we all know what he meant and see the sense of it) and in spite of his perceived lawyering brilliance, often is a butt of jokes in the office. He is however, a gutsy pug of a lawyer, full of fight and always thinking laterally. To me, most of all, he was always a sincere fellow and good fun to be with. For those of you who are wondering, a couple of Malaysian bloggers have been sued by some senior executives of the The New Straits Times for some of their articles. Some think the suit should not have been brought against them. I think it’s a bit of a yes and no. Yes, the suit may have been commenced by the executives if they think they have been defamed by the bloggers, but no, the NST should not have been a party to the suit. The general perception is that the damaged item is the ego of these executives, not the reputation of the newspaper. I have personally knowledge that the general perception is relatively accurate.

Bye, Homegroup


I’ve just emailed a couple of my church leaders, telling them I would not be attending tomorrow’s Homegroup meeting. For the same reason that I now feel inadequate to discharge the role of a husband/father, I am also not able to discharge the role of a Homegroup leader/coordinator. I had, a few weeks ago, asked to relinquish this role and tomorrow would see some conclusion to it. The leaders should see to it. I asked the Lord for help; He has chosen to remain asleep. For now, maybe, but I do need Him now and I get no help. Mac is more reliable.

Rubbish, Dr Mahathir.


Finally, an intelligent and articulate letter to debunk the rubbish about Dr Mahathir’s nomination for a Nobel Peace Price and his idiotic war crimes tribunal. Dr Mahathir a war crime fighter? He is just a religious chauvinist. Too bad there are too many sycophantic writer, bloggers, journalists and “think tanks” in Malaysia who are equally tunnel visioned to be truly anti genocide.

mm-in-sheep.jpg

Remembering Dad this CNY


“Almost invariably, father would burn a finger lighting up one of those gigantic row of firecrackers. That too was tradition. We were told that Ah Choh (Grandfather’s mother) did that too – burned her own fingers playing firecrackers during CNY – so father was just keeping a family tradition alive, I guess“

This was the entry for last year’s CNY. How things have changed. I will, above all else, again  remember my father this CNY.

Laughing at Methodists


I was brought up in a Methodist church. So, I’m allowed to laugh at this. An extract:

“We make fun of Methodists for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed, and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like them….If you were to ask an audience in New York City, a relatively Methodistless place, to sing along on the chorus of ‘Michael row your boat ashore’ they would look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear. But if you do this with Methodists, they’d smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! And down the road!”

And this:

‘Methodists believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.”

And this, because I often find myself doing it:

“Methodists will usually follow the official liturgy, and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins….You know you are a Methodist if when you watch Star Wars and they say ‘May the Force be with you,’ you instinctively respond ‘And also with you.’”

This one, because I was reminded that I didnt want to feel guilty:

“Methodists feel guilty if they don’t stay to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.”

Finally:

“You know you are a Methodist when it takes at least ten minutes to say goodbye!”

The last bit isnt always true. Bye.

CNY & Public Service in Msia


I received a call from A Pin earlier today, asking if we would like to join them for a CNY dinner at their home. This compounds the problem, especially for Theresa. A CNY do is really the last thing I want to be part of right now. Thankfully I’m not in Malaysia. Especially the ruckus of firecrackers which would have started by now. I remember calling the police when it went on past 2am. The police harassed me instead. Patrick Teoh, some I used to enjoy listening to on the radio in Malaysia, said that the police would be stricter this time. His is a different issue – fairness across all races… really Patrick, for a man your age, you should know better than to live in fantasy land. Racial equality in Malaysia? Gong Xi Fa Cai to you too. I think the law on this be enforced strictly and now is as good a time as any. The thing to do would be to remember this saga well and bring it up to the fore come Hari Raya next time around. All I remember is how it was impossible to sleep and kiddo and Roy our dog had a terrible time with all the firecrackers.

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The web version of The Star newspaper in Malaysia has this story about delivering public services more efficiently. Seriously? I thought the answer is obvious. Start hiring according to ability, not race or religion. Then you might actually get civil servants who are capable and interested in delivering the services.

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An ex-colleague just emailed me – he’s in Melbourne now and scounting around to migrate here. Another one. I hope those of my friends and relos who are still grinding it out in Malaysia seriously believe their long term future (and that of their children/ grandchildren) lies with that country.

Prayer of Jabez? Hmmm


The B family worships in our church. S, the daughter, has been working in Adelaide for over a year and this morning, she was in church. She was going to travel overseas for a bit before coming back to Melbourne again so the church had her out in the front this morning, for prayers. J, S’s mom, prayed for her and one of the phrases used was to “expand her territory”. This was an obvious reference to the prayerof Jabez in I Chronicles 4:10, which has become a bit of a trendy thing for believers of the prosperity gospel or variations of it. Bruce Wilkinson’s book of the same title was much trumpted, even in my previous church in Klang and for a while, many in that church openly prayed that prayer and no one batted an eyelid (or opened an eye…)

I have been having trouble with the prosperity gospel for many years now. The obvious examples were Job and Lazarus.The example of Job may be a bit problematic in that he eventually came good and God blessed him in even greater terms than he started out with but what about Lazarus? He died a sick and hungry pauper. There are numerous articles (see for example, this, this or this one) on the problems with this branch of the prosperity gospel and I hope those who promotes this line of teaching read and think a little more about it.

Samosa Sayonara


What a snack

The beloved samosa is facing meltdown in India. I used to enjoy this snack in when I was travelling in India, and continued savouring it in KL and here in Melbourne. I guess Delhi Belly should be avoided as much as possible, but I have not heard of anyone dying from it – just a bit of dashing between the toilet and the bed.