I am so depressed I do not know how to feel. Theresa, as usual, has been the gem of a wife and tried to be a pillar of support. She tried to assure me God cares. All I could think of is, yeah right. For the past, what, 2 years now, I have done little except asking God to provide strength and purpose. I asked for little else. So much so that it took Sunday sermons for me to ask God for more. My mistake. Those speakers were donkeys. God cares? Maybe. He sure has a weird way of showing it though. 2 hours before Sharyl called, Alex Lim, a good friend who is still in Malaysia, called. He said he simply wanted to see how I was doing. We prayed over the phone. I felt good after that. For 2 hours. I still feel like it was a damned sick joke on God’s part. I am now in that part of hell I was in almost 2 years ago, when ANZ called. 2 valleys in 2 years. Troughs in between. Damned deep and filthy ones. God cares? I hate to see what happens when he stops caring.
“So, I commend the enjoyment of life.” (From the Bible – really. Eccl 8:15)
Ante 