Theresa and Elysia tried one of these puzzles a few nights ago. The next day, I was wondering around The Glen shopping centre when I saw this little stall with electronic Sudoku handheld consoles. That was after I had seen a Sudoku puzzle book in Angus and Robertson’s. I guess there is a mini craze for this new Rubik’s Cube successor called Sudoku. I might try this out when I have my lonely break of a Christmas holiday starting in a week’s time. I wonder if this craze has started long ago enough for it to be googled successfully. Australia used to catch the tail-ends of crazes or trends but perhaps this is no longer true. When I asked Theresa’s brother in Malaysia if he has heard of Sudoku, he was as clued in as Errol Flynn would be about PS2 or Xbox. He did manage to find a picture of the electronic game version however although he has never actually seen one. So I guess if indeed it has caught craze proportions it hasn’t reached Malaysia either. I’d take a bet that it would as it is not half bad. Maybe it would be available in the cyber world to be downloaded as a Palm OS game or some equivalent mode. Maybe I’ll get this as a Christmas present for someone…

 

This morning Theresa and I chatted briefly about me trying to find a cheap flight to KL to be with her and Elysia for Christmas. Last night, just before leaving office, we received an email from a friend with a link to a site supposedly providing cheap flights so I thought I could take a look and try to get lucky. As it turned out, it was a Singapore based sight for Singaporeans travelling out of Singapore to destinations including Malaysia and Australia. In short – it wasn’t what we were looking for. I surfed a bit anyway, hoping to land something good. My target – get to KL or Singapore for under $1,000.00 return. For this time of the year that sounded well impossible and it was. Malaysian Airlines offers the lowest fare and that was close to $1,400.00. Plus taxes. Singapore Airlines had been cheaper about 1 – 2 weeks ago but even then it was almost $1,300.00 plus taxes. Supposed cheap airlines like Emirates was no where to be seen in my list of ascending prices. A fraction of my mind still thinks in terms of ringgit, especially when it is linked to things Malaysian, as this trip obviously is. With taxes, this comes up to $4,500 (in ringgit) easily and this is just too astronomical for a 2 week trip. $91.00 gives me a few days in the MCG watching the Proteas taking on Ricky Ponting’s men and that sounds like a lot more value for my dollar.

After deciding yet again that Melbourne is where I would be spending Christmas this year – alone – Theresa sent me, some 2 hours later, an article saying Malaysian Airlines was going to increase its fares yet again. When someone like Qantas or Singapore Airlines says it is upping its fares you know some genuine cause was the reason. Fuel hike, or other factors leading to either escalating costs or falling revenue or some other good economic and business reasons. But when Malaysian Airline decides on a fare hike, the immediate reaction would be “They would, wouldn’t they? They need to pay off some inflated contracts or consultants or recoup some heavy duty losses from either appalling management or corrupt practices.” Hundred of millions of losses mean they have no choice if they wish to stay afloat. One hopes however that this would not backfire and result in even bigger losses.

I made this entry (see below) about 6 months ago. That’s the beauty of keeping a diary – or in webspeak – a blog. I get to reflect on my thoughts and feelings at a particular time in the past. In warm summer mornings of recent days the battles with the cold have become a distant memory. This is accentuated by the holiday mood currently descending on the office. This morning over an office breakfast, the talk isn’t of usual business but of the party the office is hosting for the building. Then it was about the Kris Kringle as the little envelopes were being dished out. It was a very light hearted atmosphere indeed. Certainly the mood is considerably different from that of that cold Monday morning in June.

So have things gotten better since then? Yes and no, I guess. My mother’s maxim of “Everything is fine once you get used to it” is proving true. No matter how unpleasant an experience is, repeated occurrences make them less intolerable, so much so that reversed good experiences become absolute and real God-sends.

Theresa and Elysia are particularly excited about their coming trip to Malaysia. They leave in about a week and they have bought a suitcase full of Christmas presents for almost everyone in the family. I just got an email from her asking me to get a good bottle of red for my brother. I am just glad that they have something nice to look forward to. Me?

Well I have a few alternatives. Firstly, I can go watch the Test Cricket match between Australia and South Africa at the MCG starting Boxing Day. It is scheduled as a 5-day test, the second in a series of 3. That should take care of 1 week. Secondly, I can take a drive to Sydney. The drive there and back would take 2 days and if I stay say 3 or 4 days, that is also 1 week taken care of. Thirdly I can just take short daily drives out of Melbourne into the country. Grampians, the Macedon, Echuca and Warrnambool are some of the areas I have in mind. The only one which makes sense (in the context of being a temporal lone single person) for me right now is the cricket. That would be nice. The alternatives would be better with the family with me. Yes, I think it will be the cricket. Howzat?

 

 

Monday, June 27, 2005

Brave the Cold and … Mondayitis

Mondayitis of an “orange alert level”, I’m suffering today. I think. It’s the start of the school holidays, which will go on for 2 weeks. In Malaysia, this would have heralded a holiday trip to somewhere like Penang. It would have meant a few days together with the family in a beautiful sunny, warm and beautiful beach resort. It would have also meant a few days for Elysia to spend with her favourite cousins, Nicole and Isaac. We are however, in Melbourne in the middle of winter. The wife woke up this morning bemoaning the act of waking up to a 4 degree cold morning. She moaned and asked “why?” in a tone which made me wonder why we are here and not in Penang enjoying relatives, beaches and great food. About 2 hours after ruminating and aching the wife’s sentiments, I went into Elysia’s bedroom, told her I was leaving for work and another dagger pierced my heart. She was going to be alone for a few hours before I came to pick her and send her to Auntie Hooi’s. In Malaysia, she would have Lini (our Indonesian maid) look after her, or even better, she would have spent a few days with us in Penang. So why are we here… I keep telling myself my heart says to remain in Malaysia but my head tells me to move Down Under. I love Malaysia, but I don’t think that is the place for me and my family in the long run. Yes, yes – in the long run we are all dead, so said Keynes. For now however, I have to think these winter blues will subside to be replaced by a glorious spring, where the wife would be excited to be in beautiful Melbourne. I have to remind myself that after the morning cold thawed, when the limbs limbered up, we’d be glad to smell and breathe the crisp cold air instead of the muggy sweltering Malaysian humidity. I have to remind myself that those Penang holidays always come to an end, and we would be back in our office facing the corporate and business worlds of Malaysia, with its overwhelming corruption and bureaucracy making everything revolting. Invariably, Elysia leaves her cousins in Penang to return to a Malaysian school which will take her deeper into the forests of racially based progress in an increasingly limp education system. I have to remind myself that having an Indonesian maid for years had handicapped Elysia’s ability to look after herself better, something we have had to remedy for the last 9 months. Yes, the familiarity of Malaysia gave us much security. We need to rebuild that sense of security, here in Melbourne. We have taken the first steps, and must continue to strive on. Brave the winter mornings. Brave the absence of close relatives. Brave the new surroundings. And…brave Mondayitis.

posted by teetwoh | 9:42 AM

 

A client came in to collect documents following completion of various matters we did for her and her family company. She has been a very nice client and true to form, she brought a bottle of wine along with her. I don’t know yet what vintage this was, because I felt it was something the office should share together, especially given that the office Christmas lunch is only a little more than a week away. Anyway after some courteous exchanges between the boss and I he (the boss) agreed to take the wine for the lunch next week. Anyway this blog isn’t about whether an employee is entitled to keep such gifts to himself or herself. It’s about what a nice feeling it is to be given something like that. We charged her good legal fees for the work we did so that was our reward. So this bottle of red isn’t reward for that – it was a gesture of goodwill, perhaps in the context of the Christmas season. This is not the norm, not even in Malaysia. There, the supplier of services is the usual giver of gifts, not the consumer of such services. The client therefore usually receives, not gives, gifts. The lawyer receives gifts not from the client, but from supplier of goods and services the lawyer consumes, such as his landlord, his stationery suppliers, etc. Sometimes we (lawyers in Malaysia) received gifts from clients but that is only when they needed us to be performing at optimum level. These gifts were some sort of incentives, over and above the fees they paid us. This present client has no reason to be giving such a gift – their matter has concluded. It was therefore a genuine gesture of appreciation, which is truly cherished. Unfortunately I am not able to disclose this client’s name. Thank you so much. You really made my day.

For two weekends in a row, Theresa lead the charge as we went on a hunting expedition. All three of us braved the thick jungle of Christmas shoppers and the preceding car traffic and plunged head-on into the war zone within the walls of shopping malls and departmental stores. Theresa was single minded in her mission, nipping in and out of battle zones (for mean, women and children, in departments such as clothing, toys and books). Elysia was a happy trooper, content to admire the scenes and stopping by whatever stalls which catches her fancy. She is not so battle fit however, as she requires frequent stops for refreshments. Me – I was a battle worn veteran. I had been, in my student days, been through the antipodean pre-Christmas rush before. In fact, I recall being on the enemy’s side, at the other end serving impatient customers. For the 2-3 days running up to and including Christmas eve especially, the rush reaches a crescendo. In the fishmarkets in Sydney (Pyrmont) where I worked may years ago, Christmas eve heralds a battle that begins at 2.30am. I kid you not – we were in the markets at 2.30am, and often, we start the day by hopping onto a truck to head to the airport and drag a truckload of prawns and lobsters back to the shop before 4.30am. The shop usually opens at 5.30am and by the time it is 6.30am, the crowds would be maybe 15-20 thick. We would work non-stop until maybe 3pm. By the time we close at 3.30pm, we were all usually in a drunken stupor state of mind – legs numbed from being more than 15 hours on the feet, and too tired to even count the money and bonus we expected from this wild experience.

So yesterday,  I was just following Theresa and making sure as she zips around, I kept an eye on Elysia as she makes her frequent stops. I acted as a lookout man to ensure I called out to Elysia to “move on” or risk being left behind by the charging sergeant. Christmas this year somehow doesn’t excite me as it used to, probably because my troops would be leaving me… I dread to coming loneliness over the Christmas period. Maybe their absence would allow me to fully concentrate on the meaning of Christmas – of what a tragic event it really was, instead of one purely of happiness.

Christmas is indeed, a culmination of a war between the consequences of sin and salvation. If I can grasp that in its purest form once more, it could still be a great Christmas. With or without my troops.

then such alterations happen at the risk of the person doing so and at the risk of the person relying upon such unauthorised alterations.

 

I sent this email to an ex-colleague, who at long last is leaving (along with a few others) that old employer of ours.

 

——————————————————————–

Hi [ ]

 

You, [ ] and [ ] have impressed me immensely with your staying power/patience. A couple of months with these clowns from Khazanah and other such characters were enough to tell me I should find alternatives. Sometimes when I am too busy and pressured I longed for those less taxing days working with these imbeciles but the downside of these days would be too much of a price to pay. I guess often the over-riding need to have a job and pay bills means we often do whatever that is available, no matter who we have to work with.

 

Anyway, good to know you are moving on to better things. LLM and academia sounds good and I am sure with these added strings to your already impressive bow, you’d be snapped up in no time.

 

My family and I have been in Melbourne for a little over a year now. My wife and daughter are going to Malaysia for a holiday in about 2 weeks, and will stay there for 3 weeks. So over the Christmas/New Year period, I am all alone without my family with me… L

 

My wife works for [ ], one of the oldest retailing groups in Melbourne, as an internal auditor. She is enjoying her work. Her office is in the city and she commutes by train every day (about half hour). My daughter goes to a school near our home and is doing well. More importantly she is enjoying school here. I am in a suburban legal firm close to home, only about 10 minutes’ drive away. There are 6 lawyers here, including the principal/sole proprietor. We do SME type of commercial work, mom and pop shops, conveyancing, wills, debt collection etc. Chappalang la. Our home is in Mount Waverley in the eastern suburb, about 20km from the city.

 

Life is good, although it has been difficult to leave a relatively stable and secured life in Malaysia to start anew all over again. It is a price I have been prepared to pay for a long time now, bolstered in no small way by my dealings with the sort of buffoons you are about to say goodbye to. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh but I honestly believe that with these lazy, greedy, corrupt Melayus remaining in power Malaysia’s downward spiral will find no respite. Unfortunately I don’t see the sort of fundamental changes necessary to turn things around. I am therefore digging in to rebuild here in Melbourne, rather than returning to my familiar (and therefore feels safer) old haunt.

 

If you and your family find yourselves visiting Melbourne, do give me a call and we can catch up over coffee or wine, both of which are fantastic here in Melbourne.

 

Please send my best wishes to [ ].

 

Regards,

 

 

Theresa’s relatives

A whole bunch of them got together in Blackburn last night, in Uncle Seng and Auntie Ann’s home. A couple of elderly grand-aunties were visiting from Malaysia, together with some cousins from Newcastle, NSW and everyone got together for dinner. One of them was a 72 year old lady who used to be a temple caretaker and must have her Guinness everyday. She regularly dispensed advice on Chinese customs and practices and spared no one if she thought any of these customs or practices were being adhered to. Most defer to her and last night was no different. Except of course, she had a stroke 2 years ago and is no longer the peppy hot little chilli she used to be. She was more subdued and I wasn’t sure if this was confined to her current visit or it has become a permanent change but she has got off her Guinness and her staple now is regular red wine. Plenty of De Bortolli 4 litre variety was on serve last night and by the time we were bidding our farewells she looked a little glaze. The cousin from Newcastle said, for the umpteenth time, that he didn’t think this grand-aunt was going to have another visit down under. In the course of the evening several phone calls were made to Malaysia, cajoling Theresa’s parents to make a visit soon. That would be nice. Thankfully all I had last night was a couple of beers and some bourbon, so I woke up this morning perfectly normal. Except of course, that this morning was to see United’s exit from Europe.

United’s Woes

My beloved Man United has been in the dumps this season. Not even the memories of Georgie Best could lift the performance in Lisbon’s Stadium of Light this morning as we went down 2-1 to Benfica, the subject of Best’s torments more than 30 years ago. I thought Scholesy’s goal in the 16^th minute was a bit fortuitous and I was unfortunately, proven right. After the opening 10 minutes of controlling play, we allowed Benfica to take over in terms of both work rate and intelligent play. Rooney could not work his stuff, Ronaldo was still playing tricks to satisfy himself and Van Nilsteroy was starved of good balls. Scholes may have scored in the last 2 games he has played in but he is no where near his best creative self of old. Certainly, for all his tenacity, Alam Smith could not be said, by any stretch of the imagination, to have controlled the mid-field. Not in the Keane way. No, there really is only one Keano. Until we have someone remotely like him (an Essien, Makelele or Gerard) we will not be able to reclaim supremacy, either in the EPL or in Europe.

Still, maybe because I have not been on a regular diet of United games, this morning’s loss was a lot less painful than it would otherwise have been. It’s all a question of expectations and habit I guess. I’m glad I acted on the hunch that making an ECL final was a rarity and therefore hopped onto a plane in May 1999 and headed for Barcelona. That night in Nou Camp still ranks as one of the best experiences I have had in my life. Totally unforgetable and unfortunately, probably never to be experienced again.

Happy Kiddo

Last night we took her to see the latest gaffe from Ms Rowling. It was surprisingly quite entertaining and while we were watching credits roll at the end, I thought: “Mike Newell directed this?” That explains its higher-than-expected entertainment value. I remember thoroughly enjoying Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Anyway, as it was a long movie, we rushed to catch the early evening screening at 6.15pm. and so skipped dinner. Half way through I felt hungry and when the movie finished, my dearest wife was either hungry herself or she heard my tummy rumbling. “We are going to Bob’s Kitchen are we?” she casually remarked. No one objected and for a change, there was no queue outside this little simple Chinese diner. We had a very satisfying noodle and dumpling.

Right from the moment we left the cinema, throughout dinner at Bob’s kitchen, right through the drive home (amidst thunderstorm and heavy rain) kiddo couldn’t stop talking about Messrs Potter, Weasley and Grainger. She was still at it this morning over breakfast and I tried extremely hard not to mute this excitement although I am about as interested in the magical world of Hogwarts as I am in croquet. I make the usual obligatory “You think so?” and “Why do you say that?”, only half following whatever that was pouring out of that considerable facial orifice of hers. For the umpteenth time, I wonder how is it that my wife and I are both relatively quiet folks but kiddo turned out to be such a wonderfully active chatterbox. Again, I remind myself of my parental duty to stoke, not dampen, such enthusiasm. To cajole and encourage instead of stomping out such liveliness, no matter how unnatural it is for me.

 

Silent Me

There’s this joke about 2 blokes having their drinks in a bar somewhere. Half an hour later, one asked the other: “So how has work been?” “Alright”, the other bloke replied. 45 minutes later the first bloke said: ”Going anywhere this Christmas break?” “No” the other bloke replied. 30 minutes later the first bloke said “And…” to which the other bloke immediately turned to the first bloke and said “Look mate, if I wanted a conversation I would have stayed home, okay?”

To a large extent this is true of me. I’d much rather sit down, have a drink and read something or listen to some music or watch television instead of talking. Having company is great but not necessarily company which requires constant chatting. It’s not a bad thing but I’d rather have company who is okay with not chatting. Strange huh?

This morning Elysia and I prayed as we usually do, before leaving home. The difference this morning was we prayed mainly for Tuong Van Nguyen, the convicted Melburnian drug trafficker who has since died, having been hanged in Changi prison in Singapore. We also prayed for his mother. I took the opportunity to impress upon kiddo, why I often thanked God for each new day and for small pleasures and other such things in life. I don’t know if in the course of parenting an 11 year old, a tragic event like this could be used to press home several hard lessons. The obvious one – don’t do or deal drugs – is mentioned quickly. The more subtle one needs more time. Those relating to making choices in life. Tuong Van made a series of choices in his life which led to his conviction of a serious crime in a land which meant mandatory death penalty. From then on his choices became severely limited. How do I teach Elysia to make choices in life which would continuously open herself up to ever more choices? For the ability to truly choose is real freedom and real wealth. The more you are free to choose, the wealthier and more free you are. It does not depend on how much money one has or how smart one is. It depends on wisdom, and true wisdom comes from fearing God. The bad choices are those which limited subsequent choices. I think this sounds airy and all but I believe this nails it for me. Trick is – how do I make kiddo see that?

State of the Union Report – taking stock of myself

Physical

I am happy to report the physical aspect of the union is holding up reasonably well. Healthy appetite, regular exercise and fastidious supplement taking mean I am generally well. Intake wise, I could use more fruits and vegetables and less junk foods. My fruit intake now is confined to a banana and about half an orange a day. Add to that 2-3 kiwi fruits and maybe 1 avocado a week and maybe, just maybe, I have just about enough fruit intake per week. As a family we are still eating more junk food than we should – chips and nuts at night with the television have become overstaying guests. Other than that, weetbix and muesli for breakfasts, simple sandwiches for lunches and our Asian staple of rice (small serving, maybe 1-2 table spoons only) and 2 dishes for dinner constitute fairly healthy diets. Wine (especially red) consumption is down but beer has gone marginally up, as has whisky. Overall, the drinking must definitely come down. Exercise – the crook knee has started healing, now that I have begun consuming Usana’s procosamine, a glucosamine variant which is more potent. I re-commenced running again on Saturday, after a few weeks’ of sticking to push-ups and total body workout machines in the gym. Did 6.5km on Saturday and 7.5km this morning, in ultra slow time, with knee brace/guards tightly strapped. No pain after the runs. Supplements in the form of Usana multi minerals, antioxidants, calcium, selenium, omega-3 and garlic pills add up to a formidable cocktail which this mid-life crisis sufferer can really use.

Emotional

Still wobbly. My time at work is running out. Things have not worked out. My faux pas of a start, from the very first week, has meant things have been uphill all the way and things have not softened up to a plateau. I have not taken to work in this sort of set up and have begun looking elsewhere. Thankfully, things are superb with the wife and kid. Lots of love and laughter at home, which I have been working hard to maintain, seeing that this is the last bastion of my happiness. Their happiness is mine and they are happy only when I am. So I heave an almighty sigh when I get home everyday and with gargantuan efforts, unload all of my emotional pains accumulated at work, dumped them all in the car and get into the house wearing a smile to warm things up at home. It has been working and I love the way things are at home now. The occasional passing of thoughts of things at work bring about audible sighs but these are quickly and deliberately forgotten.

Spiritual

I am now down on my knees several times a day – by the time I leave home in the morning, I would have come to our God and cried before Him 3-4 times, half of them on my knees. I spend time reading His word too, looking for a message, a word of instruction, of comfort and assurance. I finished reading the bible last week and have begun Genesis again this week. Reading this morning of God leading Abraham made me ask Him to let me hear Him, see His hands so that I can hold them, close my eyes and let Him lead. The challenge is always to seek His face only, and leave all else to Him.

This morning I received a report my brother wrote for the church in Klang. It dealt with a few members’ visit to Cambodia. His experience and lessons jolted me into thinking about India again. There was this slight tingling to make another visit although given my current circumstances that would be an extremely remote possibility, at best. This past year has been spent waiting on God for providence of personal matters. Maybe I should, in spite of these circumstances, look beyond these immediate needs around me and see things from His eyes. To cast my eyes on the mission fields again.

 

Material

We are still looking for a house to call our own. Last Saturday we attended an auction for a property we seriously wanted but were out-bid. We have continued looking, more vigorously than before.

 

Conclusion

So what is the state of the union of this crumbling middle-aged person? I’m too tired to think about it to be honest. Just writing the above has taken more than the 10 or so minutes I normally allow myself for a blog. Will have to think about it some more first before drawing any definitive conclusions, I guess.