The 15^th wedding anniversary we had was the first since my father died. For some reason, every year when I celebrate our anniversary, I thought of him. He had wanted to do more for the wedding. I regretted the many arguments I had with him over the planning of the wedding. He had wanted a really extensive guest list and had wanted all sorts of traditional arrangements, including for us to live with them for the first few months of our marriage. I had just started working then and a lot of the stuff he wanted involved spending loads more money so they were all problematic. I remember having to buy my shoes from Bata for that wedding and so I was enraged every time he suggested more things he wanted done. In fact I felt a lot of anger right through my wedding preparation period. I was surrounded by relatives to whom the occasion was a cause for the family to get together to celebrate and the bride and groom’s interests were of secondary importance. I remember being in church the night before the wedding, with tons of things to do but only a few of us were there. Theresa and I were both there and Albert Lee, my best man and Saw Hoon, Theresa bridesmaid, were the main helpers. Boon Eng was there with the artistic work. Apart from the 5 of us, I cant remember anyone else being there. I remember staying up till midnight with the work required. None of my myriads of cousins showed up with the arrangements of tables and chairs, decorations and everything else. I remember making a dash home to get people over to the church to help, only to find the house filled with relatives who were just chatting and no one bothered to help, not even after I showed up not looking very happy. My mother had insisted I “behaved” and I didn’t want to upset her so I just turned around and left home, to return to church to do the work. My father was simply totally oblivious to what I had to face. I recall those times with regret at the way I felt and the way things turned out. Thankfully, the wedding turned out well and everyone was happy, including my late father. Those were the things I had hoped to one day talk about with my dad, maybe over a beer and laughed over. I never had that chance, not having “seized the day”.