Something about our relationship with kiddo has been gnawing at me. I feel, somehow, that we are at a crossroad and I need to think about this more deliberately and come up with a plan of some sort. She’s 12 going 13 and has started forming ideas and attitudes of a teenager. Yet she has the emotional needs of a child.

Last night, we decided to go out and rent a few videos. A stack of Video Ezy vouchers have been sitting around and would expire in a few days. As we browsed the shelves, the familiar divergence emerged again. Theresa wanted something fun and sentimental. She eyed Steve Irwin’s “Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course”. Little Bindy’s emotional speech at Steve Irwin’s memorial was still tugging at her heart and she wanted to watch something he made. She used to enjoy Irwin’s shows on Animal Planets, especially those episodes on individual animals’ plights in Australia Zoo. I was impartial to that and went with it.

Kiddo on the other hand, wanted one of those zany comedy that only teenagers (or perhaps I should say “mainly”, as I get the impression that Uncle Seng enjoys those as well) would find amusing. I told kiddo I didnt want any Adam Sandler rubbish. I never enjoyed his movies and I have never found him funny. I should have been more open minded, especially since what is important is how I connect with kiddo, not my taste and preference for movies and performers. I could see the disappointment and frustrations on her face when I said that, and I regretted it. We compromised and went for her choice of Batman Returns, the one with Danny De Vito as The Penguin. Again, for some reason, I never enjoyed the Batman movies. Not even with Jack Nicholson as the Joker. The one I at least enjoyed a little was the most recent one, with Christian Bale.

I went for the Maltese Falcon, having recently watched “The Brick”. I had watched Bogart’s Maltese Falcon years before but thought it would be worthwhile to re-watch this gem again. I think I’m the only one who is going to enjoy this.

When we got home, we watched Irwin’s offering, enjoyed it and thought we should go to bed. Kiddo wanted to go on with Batman but I was ready for bed. Theresa had gone to bed at various points during the Crocodile Hunter’s battles and was definitely for bed when Irwin signed off. I didnt think a dark movie like Batman would be good for Kiddo just before bed time and suggested we watched it the day after. She on the other hand, was adamant about watching it but this is where the connundrum lies: she wanted me to watch it with her. She knew I didnt like it, was ready for bed, yet she wanted me to watch it with her.

Kiddo has started becoming her own person. Yet she has the emotional need for us to be around her. I’m thankful for that. I made the effort to, but snoozed midway through movie. When I could stay up no longer, she watched it alone, but I know she knew I made all the effort I could, do be around. Small matter, I know. But…I need to pay attention to little details like that, make mental notes of them and act on them. I need kiddo as much as she needs me.