I was reading an article last night, about our world entering into an “ecological debt” phase, starting 9 October 2006. That meant that from 9 October 2006 on, our consumption is against the resources of future generations, and slowly depleting natural resources more quickly than the earth can replace them. This all sounds very serious.

Alas I am no where close to being so noble – my mind was pre-occupied, not with whether our earth is a ticking time bomb, but with my work. Or rather, the issues at work. It turned out that it was not for nothing. I had more than valid reasons for being so pre-occupied. Somehow, bad as it may sound, work defines a man. I think that sounds bad because, of course, a person is defined by not just his work, but by his other deeds and relationships. That however, is the ideal. The reality is, most men spend more time at work than on anything else. The little time he has left after work can only be deployed in a limited way on his other deeds and his relationships. He is, you see, usually spent by the time he gets home, and is then called upon to play catch-up on his roles as a husband and a father.

So what happens when one’s work undermines his worth? Does he then cease work until he finds another means, or alternative work, to shore up his self-worth? Is that being selfish? Does one grin and bear it, and ride out the conflicts no matter what the costs? My towel is poised but I don’t quite know yet what I should do. Prayer? I’ve done little else. I have, as usual, received no answer at the point when an answer seems like the only thing I need.

Last night, during dinner, kiddo asked us who our best mates are. She meant here in Melbourne and emphasized it. I guess I should have asked her who her best mate was but that question temporarily froze me, because I had just been thinking about it for the past couple of weeks. The work I enjoyed most have been where I had good mates. I don’t know if that is one reason why happiness at work has been so elusive to me. At Sharrock Pitman, I couldn’t count any of my colleagues then as close mates, nice as the people there were. Someone joined later and left after only a short while and I have kept in touch with him and I now consider him a good mate but best mate? I don’t think we have spent enough time together. Of course, we became friends just as he was leaving the firm so he wasn’t exactly a workmate in that sense. In my present place, most people are so political and a lot of charades are clearly so, that I am very hesitant to strike any meaningful friendships. So I guess if I do have a best mate here in Melbourne, he or she is not to be found in the workplace. I guess my best mate is Theresa but kiddo would consider that cheating. Maybe then it is time I invested more in people and let other areas of my life take on bigger roles. That is not a cause for throwing in the towel here just now of course, but that is nevertheless, something to seriously think about, before the time bomb that is this world, goes off.

No, I didn’t mean to be vulgar or cheeky – Throw in The Towel – that’s what I meant. I don’t think I’d find a groove here. I’ll have a word with the boss to give my letter soon, probably in the next few hours.