After my regular Saturday morning run (actually now that I’ve referred to my Sat morning runs as my “regular” run, I half suspect I would not be able to do it in the next few weeks, for whatever reason…), I came home and then drove to the city to meet an old friend.

He was actually a sort of a boss in a previous workplace. He was the director of the Bank which I was the legal guy of. He was given a nickname to suggest his spicy ways (sexual, yes) but he was otherwise a terrific guy. His “spicy” ways raised a bit of a storm when it was simmering away, maybe, say, 8 years ago now.

I met him at his apartment on Lonsdale Street. He said he has just sold it, albeit at what must have been a tidy sum. We then proceeded to have lunch at a nearby Chinese restaurant on Little Bourke and right through, there was an uncomfortable, near courteous mood between his wife and him (in contrast with the guy from Klang – see previous entry – who was very cordial and playful with his wife). Maybe it had to do with his years in Hong Kong but then again I know a number of couples from Hong Kong who do not display such serious dispositions. Never mind, we had a reasonably good time catching up and I hope he now gets to rebuild his relationships with his wife and kids. His young daughter was with us (Kiddo came along with me) and that is always good.

We came back around 1pm, I sent kiddo to her Math class (she just started this), then I started on my household chores. Then just a few minutes ago, I went through the AMRC crap (see a previous entry), the one involving 2 huge banks in Malaysia caught up in the wake of corrupt Malaysia of the ninetires. The Statement of Defence had to be commented on with the promise of an uncomfortable conference call between the legal department of one of the banks and their external lawyer (sort of a drinking kaki back in KL).

It has been that kind of a weekend, but my mind remains on the issue of family, forgiveness and long term relationships.

“So, I commend the enjoyment of life.” (From the Bible – really. Eccl 8:15)

Someone visited me in the office a couple of days ago. He was an old friend of my ex-boss in KL, and knew many of my mates in Klang. He dropped in together with another Klang gentleman, who was an old friend of my father in law and who has been living here for many years. We talked a little, he was planning to invest in some properties here and he looked like a very nice guy. Apparently well connected (politically) and has therefore made it business wise (he was in the construction business). Yesterday, he called and invited the family to a dinner in a restaurant nearby.

Last night we had dinner with this new acquaintance and it made for a relaxing evening as I didn’t have to cook and also, it took my mind off the unhappy events in Klang. Strangely, this fellow didn’t drink, which was unusual for a construction guy. So the 2 bottles of very good red was untouched and the one bottle which my father-in-law’s old friend brought was finished between him and I. We went home just in time for the start of “24” so I only telephone my brother again around 10.30pm (8.30pm in Malaysia) but he must have left his phone on silent mode because he did not pick it up.

This morning, as I tried to imagine what the funeral conditions would be like, I prayed for peace. A funeral can be such an emotionally wrecking experience and given the circumstances of my uncle’s passing, it is potentially very gut wrenching. So I prayed several times, through the course of the morning, that the peace of God would descend on that place. Somehow.

I really should be there with the family. This is the most difficult part of emigrating.

This morning as I listened to the news for the situation in Lebanon, news of the efforts by the Australian government to evacuate Aussies continued to flow through. It turned out that a majority of Aussies who are there actually live there. Lebanon apparently allows dual citizenship so many Lebanese came over to Australia, got their citizenship, and returned to Lebanon to live. Few are there on holidays – they either lived there or were there to visit their uncles, aunties and cousins. They are in a position I would love to be in, that’s for sure.

Earlier this afternoon, I had a client who talked about spending time with the family. He’s a 45 year old Greek man – big fellow but so very family man. He talked about his very old parents in such an endearing manner. It’s amazing the sort of people God sends my way…

“So, I commend the enjoyment of life.” (From the Bible – really. Eccl 8:15)

Life is beautiful. Life also sucks. Big time. My father has been sick. I worry about him. I also worry, even more, about my mother. She has had a tough life. When she first married my father, she went and lived with my father’s family, which was pretty big. All of my uncles were still in school and my mother had to start the day earlier than everyone else, rising early to ensure a full cooked breakfast was served to everyone who wanted one. She felt lonely in a big household and my father travelled often in his work as a salesman of my grandfather’s business. She also had full responsibility for the upkeep of the whole household etc. etc. Like I said, she had it tough. We only moved out of the big house when I was maybe 6 or 7.

Financially, my father never made it. Mom had to baby-sit for various families to ensure bills were paid and food was served. I know first hand the financial difficulties she has had to bear, to carry the family through.

Her baby-sitting meant interrupted sleep was a norm and her health was never optimum as the stress of caring for young children stayed with her for years. I say again – she had a tough life.

I have an uncle who was a gem of a person. His generosity, his kindness and his sense of humour were enduring traits which made me cry last night as I went to sleep. And again this morning. He died yesterday. I think he died a broken man. His wife abandoned him a number of years ago, his children ignored him and it was my mother and another auntie (my mother’s elder sister – my “tua yee”) who has been looking after this uncle for the past few years. He has not been well. He needed a lot of care and my mother and tua-yee tended to him. When they found him struggling for dear life yesterday and then find themselves having to deal with his death without his children around, it became too much for them. My mother was distraught. Life has been hard on my mother.

Last night as I thought about these things – about this uncle and his sufferings, and about my mother and her hard life, I found it hard to not to cry. I was sombre and in a dark mood as I prepared dinner last night, and this morning, much as I didn’t feel like going for my run, I made myself go and took it out on the treadmill, pounding hard. When I came back, I found my daughter going about her usual routines, except she was doing all those things on her own, unprompted. She was being an angel and I thought wifey may have had a word with her. It only cemented the knowledge of how much family meant or should mean in one’s life. We need to find it within ourselves, almost at all cost, to make peace, to build bridges, to show love and to love, where family is concerned. No one should go to his grave thinking his family abandoned him. I think my uncle did, and I still cant get my head around that.

I have my issues with my father. Yet recently, I have had this urge to see him, to tell him that I DO love him, that I want him to be happy. With the events of the past 2 days, that urge has strengthened. I now want to see him as well as my mother, and just to spend time with the both of them. For the first time in years (maybe even ever), I have begun missing my parents. I want to get things right with them. I want a relationship with them which would give both they and myself, peace when it is time for either of them, or myself, to leave this world. That would be beautiful. Not having that would make life suck. Big time.

“So, I commend the enjoyment of life.” (From the Bible – really. Eccl 8:15)

For as long as I can remember, my father is hard of hearing. We had to speak loudly to him. He was otherwise a healthy man and often demonstrated tremendous physical strength in his ability to lift things. In the past few years however, his health has deteriorated badly. Before I left Malaysia, he has had one minor heart attack and one sudden and severe loss of mobility.

In the 2-3 months before we left Malaysia, over several dinners with the family after which they adjourned to my house for drinks, I spoke to him, along with my mother and brother, about our decision to leave Malaysia. He remained silent when I told him, and I wasn’t sure about what he was thinking. Now however, I don’t know if it even registered in his mind that we were leaving permanently. Maybe he thought we were only going away for a holiday.

In the past 2-3 weeks, I have been exchanging emails with my brother. My father is now very ill. He is no longer independent and requires care as he can no longer care for himself. I never expected this. He is only 68 this year. It should be at least 10 years more before he reaches his present state of health.

Suddenly I want to be with him again, to talk to him, and to listen to him.

“So, I commend the enjoyment of life.” (From the Bible – really. Eccl 8:15)

There is this person I have come to know a little better, over the past 1-2 months. He has become a friend to me. He and I have a lot in common. We are about the same age, have similar background, fish from the same river and are both recent migrants.

We also have similar challenges. We are both trying to find more enjoyable and effective means of fishing. The proprietor of our usual fishing spot however, makes it somewhat of a challenge to enjoy what we have enjoyed doing, over the years. Before my friend joined me in this spot, I contemplated, numerous times, fishing somewhere else. The problem is, being new migrants, we don’t know too many spots to fish from so we tend to stick to the same spot.

Today, my friend decided he’d go fish somewhere else. I now feel a sense of loss. I feel I have lost a fishing companion. It makes the whole experience less enjoyable. I suppose over time this sense of loss would ebb and things may return to before I got to know him. Maybe we would do some other stuff together.

I now wonder however, if I should seriously consider fishing elsewhere…

I first fished on a jetty in Pulau Ketam, an island about half an hour’s boat ride from Port Klang, which in turn was about 15 minutes from my parents’ home. I was in my teens, perhaps 14 or 15. There were about 4-5 of us, including my brother. We fished on n the dark, mosquito infested jetty and got next to nothing, if I recollect accurately. Yet, the discomfort and the total lack of results didn’t make it a total waste of time. I enjoyed the friendship, the company and the experience of fishing. Just to be out there with my mates was enough. That was what made the whole experience worthwhile – not the fish which we caught (or failed to catch).

I remember going for another fishing trip along the Hawkesbury River north of Sydney (I think). It was a cold winter’s day, I was on a boat with my housemates and one of their friends. Again, we didn’t catch anything (somehow, those “fishless” days are more memorable – go figure). It was at times, miserable as it was cold, the boat was a mere raft with no shield against the cold wind, and I remember my bladder losing its elasticity by the minute throughout the day. We were hoping to catch some flatheads but I think I got a pretty flaccid head at the end of it all… Again, despite the physical and mental agonies, it was enjoyable, because I was with mates and the catch (or lack of it) and the conditions didn’t matter much.

I suppose it is therefore, in fishing, a case of: it is not what you catch but who you catch it with. I want to fish with friends, with mates with whom I have total confidence and comfort. I lost one such mate today and I don’t feel much like fishing anymore as a result.

“So, I commend the enjoyment of life.” (From the Bible – really. Eccl 8:15)

Climb every mountain, dream every dream…so the song goes. Last year, as the office had the end of financial year lunch, the boss said he had this sense of having scaled a mountain, only to be confronted with a new peak to conquer on the very next day. This year he certainly scaled a higher peak, so I wonder which one he has his sights on now. He said, during our annual lunch this afternoon, that he gets a buzz from helping people. Presumably he meant with their legal problems. It must be wonderful to have a sense of having helped people while doing quite nicely financially. Almost as a side thing, not quite the raison d’etre. I supposed there are realists who do it for the money, and there are purists who do it for the luv of ze law. Me boss however, does it for the love of helping people. Pretty admirable stuff…

I meet him tomorrow morning for my annual review. I wonder if he will ask me why I do it. Not for the money, that’s for sure or I’m out of here faster than Mickey Schumacher.

Kiddo started school again this morning, after 2 weeks’ break. I took last Friday off, and we went to the Picasso exhibition at the NGV . It was such a rich experience just admiring the genius’ work alongside those of his love, Dora Maar. The Weeping Woman was on display and kiddo was excited just to see the original work. We were there around 10am, spent about 2.5 hours, then met Theresa near her office for lunch. We went back to see the rest of it and only left the gallery after 3pm.

That night, we went to church and had a bit of fun over a combined Home Group meeting. That night I stayed up for the Germany v Argentina game, got depressed with the result, and for the first time in months, slept in on a Saturday morning. Theresa had a church ladies’ meeting in the afternoon so I did my run then instead of my usual Saturday morning runs. Then on Saturday night it was another night of football, this time the tragic-comic spectacle of seeing Wayne Rooney stamping on Carvalho’s family jewels and seeing red for it. England got bundled out, Ronaldo making an absolute idiot of a villain himself and I had another miserable night – with England, Argentina, Korea, Serbia & Montenegro and Holland out, Gary Neville, Rio Ferdinand, Wayne Rooney, Gaby Heinze, Ruud Van Nilsterooy, Edwin Van de Saar, Park Ji Sung, and Nemanja Vidic, all my Manchester United heroes, have had a miserable World Cup. Only Louis Saha (France) and Ronaldo (Portugal, but he is already a bad villain) remain. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise as they can now return home for a break before the season begins in August. Yet another mountain to climb. Just like Kiddo and I…

“So, I commend the enjoyment of life.” (From the Bible – really. Eccl 8:15)