I was up early on Thursday morning, and by the time I was in the gym I quickly went on the treadmill closest to the television showing the Arse-Barca game. Eh? Almunia? Where was Lehman? Must be injured. Arse 1-0? Expletive. I was hitting full stride at 12km per hour and Ronny has yet to turn on his magic. Whoa! 10 men? Lehman was sent off! Yes! Who was the sacrificial lamb then? Pires? Oh did he dive out of the pitch? Hehehe. 15 minutes to go. Come on Barca!

Then Larson took a pass with his back to goal, just outside the 6-yard box. It was almost like he just stuck out his right foot and let it deflect off onto the path of Eto’o, who took one touch and smashed it past Almunia’s inside post with his right foot. 1-1. I jabbed a fist in the air as I stepped up my own pace. 80^th minute. Larson again. He took only a moment to see this fellow running into the 6-yard box, but this time on the right. Pilleti was it? He was a full back. Should have been obvious, the way he smashed the ball into the leg of Almunia. It deflected off into the roof of the net. This time I waved both fists in the air even as I was running hard on the treadmill.

The commentator spoke with I don’t know, probably north east English accent. That wasn’t the giveaway, however, that he was an Englishman. It was the way he praised Arsenal’s fighting spirits and lambasted the referee no end. You would have thought Barca out-cheated, out-dived, out sour-pussed Arsenal into winning. Barca had 11 men plus the referee, I could almost hear him say. Come one…

I saw the repeat and saw Lehman’s foul on Eto’o. Sure, the red card was probably a little harsh but the ref could have played the advantage rule and given Barca the goal? So that’s even, I’d say. You have to admit though that this Lehman fellow was just living out a German goalie tradition of up-ending strikers, maybe even pole-axing them. Remember the other Schumacher in WC 1982? What was the French striker’s name again?

The Pommie then suggested Barca’s equaliser was off-side. Hmm… how was Eboue’s dive? Straight out of Arsenal training ground. Earned them a freebie which Henry floated on for Sol to soar. So that’s even too, I guess. The Pommie wasn’t done yet (I think it was Andy Gray – the guy who mouths “derreble deefiending” in Pro Evloution Soccer –a PS2 game). He then suggested Pilleti was so lucky because his shot was going out and Almunia’s leg helped it in. Aiyoh – that’s “derreble commendary” la.

What can I say – Barca aped Man Utd. Only, they didn’t have the guts to leave it as late as possible. Well done, Frank. Now say thank you. For showing you how to do it and for letting us allow Ronny to join your team…

It’s Friday 4.45pm and I’m done…