There’s a star on Melbourne morning talkback radio on 3AW by the name of Neil Mitchell. If this was Malaysia Neil would have been locked up under the Internal Security Act (“ISA”) by now. There have been so many issues which he just thumped the governments with, both State and Federal. He like many Australians has this wonderful tendency to speak his mind no matter who it tends to embarrass or hurt. He certainly doesn’t come across as someone who looks behind him before speaking.

This morning Neil asked why is it that the Victorian government appears to be sniffing for ways to generate more revenue in all imaginable ways, when revenue collection has been at all time highs in recent years. With healthy receipts into government coffers why does it continue to look out for additional means of exacting money from taxpayers? Neil has a theory – the Melbourne 2006 Commonwealth Games is going to be a major blow-out. It was a pure stab in the dark – or at least it sounded that way when I reached my office and stopped listening. Yet he wasn’t worried about speaking his mind – he just blurted it out, almost nonchalantly.

 To be fair finances of the Kuala Lumpur 1998 Commonwealth Games was also a subject matter which Malaysian journalists openly asked about. It certainly made the General cry in public, upholding the then honourable tradition demonstrated by leaders of Malaysia. Shedding a tear was perhaps an acceptable trait of leadership then. The journalists’ calls however, had to do with non-tabling of accounts years after the event. I cannot imagine anyone publicly challenging the finances of the organisers a less than 6 months before the event. Certainly such challenges would not have been given a public airing.

In fact events leading up to the 1998 Kuala Lumpur Commonwealth Games were some of the ugliest to surround Malaysian history. Nallakaruppan, a tennis player of the then Finance Minister and Deputy Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim, was arrested for having a bullet in his home. He was then offered a deal with the Attorney General to have his charges reduced, if he was willing to testify against Anwar. A Pakistani intellectual, whose name I now (unfortunately) forget, was also arrested for homosexual practices. He was similarly implicated and was asked to testify against Anwar. Weeks of street protests accompanied by riot police beating protesters with batons and water canons lead up to the Games. Leaders of the protests were thrown into jail. Many corporate leaders who were perceived to have been Anwar’s allies or financial backers were persecuted. Officers of companies involved were victimised. Civil liberties were trampled around. The intention and the effect, was the silencing of critics. My embryonic plans to emigrate and leave Malaysia were suddenly urgent.

I had been disillusioned with Malaysia since the events involving Rahim Thamby Chik then a governor (chief minister) of the state of Malacca and Lim Guan Eng, son of opposition leader Lim Kit Siang, and an opposition member himself. Rahim was alleged to have had a sexual relationship with a minor and Guan Eng had raised the matter in parliament and distributed pamphlets calling for Rahim to be investigated. I can no longer recollect the technical basis but Guan Eng was thrown into prison. I remember joining public protests including holding a candle light vigil for Guan Eng outside the courthouse in Kuala Lumpur one night. His father Kit Siang joined us but for a father whose son has just been thrown in jail and whose political and professional (he was an accountant) career has been given a kiss of death, he was remarkably calm. Guan Eng’s mistreatment and the feeling that one cannot do anything about it, even speaking up against it, was a defining moment for me. I decided that I must either do something or I would leave Malaysia.

Many around me were nervous everytime we had a chat. Among friends and relatives, I started speaking out against the government’s policies and misdeeds. I was labelled a fool and irresponsible, especially for a father of a very young child. I started joining the then blossoming medium of internet forums which discussed these matters. I took active part and felt frustrated with the climate of fear and keeping quiet.

I wanted a climate where Neil Mitchell’s abound.

During the Anwar crisis, I too was a victim. On the periphery for sure, but I suffered. I decided I was going to leave the country once I loosed myself from the vines that tied me then.

Yet having left Malaysia and settled into Melbourne for about a year now, I suddenly find myself trying to get used to the forthrightness of Australians. Instead of appreciating and thriving in this environment, I find myself feeling like an alien. It is a practice which is new to me – this no-holes-barred mentality. Anyone and any issue is fair game and you stand only on your own two feet and the merits and strength of ones own thoughts.

Maybe it is the mellowing of age, maybe I stayed too long in Malaysia. My mind has been over Malaysianised. I don’t know which the bigger factor is: conservatism that comes with age or the length of time spent in Malaysia. My affinity for open and full throttled comments with no regard for anything other than the veracity and validity of the contents of such comments has become less than what I imagined.

Neil Mitchell is entertaining but I cringe at his forthrightness. I shouldn’t but I do.

I don’t know what to hope for my daughter. I think I hope for her to cherish the likes of Neil.

 

Yesterday was a hot day. Although we woke up to a 13-degree morning, the temperature climbed so quickly that by the time we were ready to leave the house for church 2-3 hours later (about 9.45) it was already 24 degrees. Maximum forecasted was 30 degrees. For the first time since arriving in Melbourne, Theresa was decked out in a skirt and a blouse for church. She looked magnificent and I am reminded of how blessed I am. I too picked out a short sleeved cotton shirt and felt a thorough sense of déjà vu, but I wasn’t sure if it related more to the summer months I spent in Sydney back in the late 80’s or to Malaysian Sunday mornings. I think it is the latter, since I have my beautiful family with me.

When we were home after church it was hot and as we sat down at home we all felt dozy. We put a movie on – a Disney-type family movie called “Good Boy” – some la la land story about dogs being “recalled” to another planet.

After that movie I dragged kiddo out as she kept complaining about being bored. We took a walk to her school armed with a tennis ball – she was going to teach me how to play “2-square”. After less than 10 minutes of playing what turned out to be a miniature form of tennis played with your palms as tennis rackets, and having lost the ball to a gutter on a roof we used the school yard and its many apparatus to just spend some time outdoors and talked.

About almost an hour later we decided to walk home, using a long round-about way. We talked some more.

We got to the subject of whether she still calls Malaysia home. She said she was very happy to be in Melbourne, and does not want to return to live in Klang. She acknowledged how much she missed some parts of Klang, especially how everything came easily and naturally. We both acknowledged that here in Melbourne we have to make an effort at everything we do, unlike in Malaysia. I guess we were in a thick layer of comfort zone and stepping out of such type of comfort zone was always going to be a lot more difficult. That however was going to make us better persons. I really appreciated, treasured our talk. It was a special afternoon for me. Thank you, God. On a warm sunny day, God warmed up more than just the weather. He warmed my heart and spirits magnificently.