Balancing Act of Parenting

I am still trying to find that balance. That balance between the sweet spot of imparting useful advice and admonishing for not acting with more care and responsibility. I write of course of kiddo. It hurts me whenever I see her countenance fall and she is not her usual happy bubbly self, a few minutes after I deliver my “lectures”.

It happened again this morning. It had something to do with her messy room. I went into her room to retrieve my handheld which she had used to read the Bible last night. This was just before we left the house. Her bed was a mess. Two pairs of used socks lie in various spots on the floor, with no particular order. I didn’t have time to notice anything else wrong – those were enough to turn my stomach a bit.

I didn’t however, lose my cool. I was measured and even tried to sound loving still. I asked if she had any particular difficulty keeping her room neat and tidy. Of course no answer was forthcoming and the usual chatter was also absent. When I dropped her off she looked sad and a little hurt. I suspect she was hurting because she upset me. I watched her walk towards her school gate, looking down as she walked. That was when I hurt too. I wanted to call her back and hug her but I was afraid that would break the wall and unleash a tide of tears, which would be even worse. Better to leave it till this evening when I would try to nurse her confidence back.

I know she has been trying. A few days ago on her own volition she cleaned up the study desk. A pile of folders and papers sitting on a corner of the desk was cleaned away and now a neater and much smaller pile sits there. The desk looks so much neater. She has also put in conscious efforts to set the table for dinner and help put things away after. I admire her for that. I admire and appreciate her growing contribution in housekeeping matters. I suppose that is what I will tell her tonight and hopefully strike that balance.