It is now beer o clock. Or, shortly. Somehow beer doesn’t taste the same when you are drinking alone. Especially when it is not even a warm day and you have chilled white wine in the fridge instead. In fact nothing taste as good as when you are drinking with some good friends. I still cant get over the irony – if this was KL, in about half an hour I would have lined up a few people to pop open a few cold ones. The neck ties would come off, the sleeves would be rolled up and maybe the feet would even be up on a coffee table in a lounge in office. The only problem would have been pricey beers, but we would have been used to paying through our noses for beers. Unless it’s in the club or office supplied drinks, drinking anywhere else would be expensive. Fast forward twelve months – in beer guzzling antipodean territory, where beer costs about a quarter to a third of KL prices (without conversion of currencies). What do I do? I stop drinking beer. I have the occasional glass of wine at home. In fact last Sunday was the first time I popped open a few cold ones with some relatives and friends and enjoyed some chatter.

I don’t know what to make of this – on the one hand I feel good for no longer stumbling home late at night after a few drinks. On the other hand, I miss the company. Alex, Eric, Edward, Raj, Eddie, Tucks, Joe, MS, Dex, Patrick, Kelly, … who did I miss out… all those drinking buddies still in KL and still paying through their noses for their drinks but happy. May be alcohol induced happiness which is therefore escapism but heck, the company was usually good and the atmosphere was often fun.

The bright side? My liver is taking a much longer breather and the missus is much happier these days. No more late nights. No more boozy late nights. No more beer o clocks.

 

I am still trying to find that balance. That balance between the sweet spot of imparting useful advice and admonishing for not acting with more care and responsibility. I write of course of kiddo. It hurts me whenever I see her countenance fall and she is not her usual happy bubbly self, a few minutes after I deliver my “lectures”.

 

It happened again this morning. It had something to do with her messy room. I went into her room to retrieve my handheld which she had used to read the Bible last night. This was just before we left the house. Her bed was a mess. Two pairs of used socks lie in various spots on the floor, with no particular order. I didn’t have time to notice anything else wrong – those were enough to turn my stomach a bit.

 

I didn’t however, lose my cool. I was measured and even tried to sound loving still. I asked if she had any particular difficulty keeping her room neat and tidy. Of course no answer was forthcoming and the usual chatter was also absent. When I dropped her off she looked sad and a little hurt. I suspect she was hurting because she upset me. I watched her walk towards her school gate, looking down as she walked. That was when I hurt too. I wanted to call her back and hug her but I was afraid that would break the wall and unleash a tide of tears, which would be even worse. Better to leave it till this evening when I would try to nurse her confidence back.

 

I know she has been trying. A few days ago on her own volition she cleaned up the study desk. A pile of folders and papers sitting on a corner of the desk was cleaned away and now a neater and much smaller pile sits there. The desk looks so much neater. She has also put in conscious efforts to set the table for dinner and help put things away after. I admire her for that. I admire and appreciate her growing contribution in housekeeping matters. I suppose that is what I will tell her tonight and hopefully strike that balance.