(Response to a Comment in earlier blog today)

 

Dear Kiawin

 

Thank you for taking time to comment. I especially appreciate your comment about the need to appreciate what God has given us, and the need to obey His commands for us to be salt and light of the earth. Did I stray? You bet. Not however, by migrating. I strayed while I was in KL. When I returned from Australia after finishing my university education, I had lofty ideals. I frowned on those who remained in Australia instead of returning to serve God in Malaysia. I spent a lot of time going to all sorts of housing areas in Klang, doing evangelism. I served in my local church, participating in as many areas as possible in order to reach out to as many as possible. I also participated in mission work, doing short mission trips locally as well as abroad (several trips to India). I strayed however, and was pulled away in a very slow and gradual manner, from serving God to serving other things, especially career. It wasn’t all by choice. Career in KL is a take-no-prisoner approach. Where I was, I found it near impossible to say no to additional work and additional time in office or with clients. I loathed the late nights in office or with clients but it came with the job. Looking back I guess I could have said no and leave the consequences to God. Back then however, it was a quagmire I sunk into very slowly, almost unconsciously. By the time I realised what was happening, too much was at stake. Not just my career and money, but the well-being of my firm, my colleagues and my clients. It would have been irresponsible to walk away from it all. Also, in the midst of it all, I slowly came to detest the business practice, the corruption, the inequality and the corrupt bureaucracy and warped mentalities of people I had to deal with. In fact my walk with God was suffering the longer I remained in that set of circumstances in KL.

 

About 3-4 years after returning from Australia, I began harbouring thoughts of retuning TO Australia. Those thoughts floated around, germinated, got uprooted, thrown out, came back, re-germinated and so on. That cycle of thoughts just went on for years (about 10 years). It was only when I thought about how my child would probably go through the same cycle – not just of thoughts but also the cycle of work, chasing empty dreams, encountering unpleasant and corrupt bureaucracy – that I put my foot down and told myself to go. By that time, serving God in fact was a factor which if at all it mattered, tilted in favour of leaving/going! What I’m saying is one serves God in different contexts over different phases or times. I find I still have a desire to serve God, to witness for him. That wasn’t my driving factor but it has become a refreshingly new avenue now that He has allowed me to be extricated from the quagmire I found myself in in KL and which I tried to describe above. I now find joy in sharing with for example, Chinese migrants (from China). No, that wasn’t (at all) the reason for my coming here. Like I said, God is good. He turns our folly into channels of His blessings as well. Do I wish I could serve God more in Malaysia? Of course. Just like I wish I could serve God more in India. And in China. And in Melbourne Australia. Globalisation isn’t just for commerce and the economy, mate. It’s for obeying and fulfilling the great commission as well! In fact, Jesus was the first on the globalization track when he commanded us to be witnesses “to the end of the earth”.

 

Do I regret not letting God’s value drive my decisions on every turn? Of course I do. In this turn however, I sought Him. It was one decision my family and I prayed over for a long time. Like most decisions we make, we weigh up both sides of the argument, commit the matter to God, then go whichever way we decide. Yes, we have to be the one to decide. To most of us, that still small voice is often a deafening silence. To many of us, that message is found somewhere else, not a direct voice which we hear. God has yet to speak to me in that audible and direct manner. Do I think it is God’s will for us to be here now? I cannot be 100% sure. To every good thing, I can point to a countervailing matter. But that is life, isn’t it?

 

What I know is: I now work in a place where I have yet to hear a swear word (I hear about 50% clean language in my KL office). I drink only wine and about 1-2 glasses each time (I drank copious beer, whiskies, wines, brandy all the time in KL). I am yet to know someone who has cheated on his wife (I know many colleagues, associates, friends who do, in KL). I now share with Chinese migrants about Christ (in my last 5 years in KL, I barely spoke to anyone about Him). I now attend my church prayer meeting regularly (I hardly did in KL/Klang). I now worship Him with more consciousness and purpose when I go to church on Sundays (I was often sleepy and numb in Klang). I now have a regular prayer time and read the Bible regularly. Ditto family (very little in Klang/KL). Yes, it may all be the novelty angle. In time I may become jaded by all these and revert to a state of rut. Again that is life, isn’t it?

 

I guess we all know when we reach the pearly gates, when we are weighed up one last time.

 

Best regards,

Teetwoh

 

I wrote this gaffe to an old friend today…

 

Hi PPP SSS

 

Good to hear you are well, in every way, it would seem.

 

DUMC is a church which has helped many people. Daniel Ho is very close to my ex-boss (who is also here in Melbourne now). In fact I bumped into this ex-boss together with Daniel a few weeks ago, in the Koorong bookstore near our home. My brother used to attend that church as well. Our church in Klang was also very good for us, and that our lives also revolved around that Klang church a lot.

 

You asked: Is Malaysia so bad that we (and many others) choose to leave and make big sacrifices?

Warning: long story follows.

 

In Malaysia, my work involved a fair bit of interaction with politicians (who sit in Boards of public companies) and senior civil servants (from institutions like Bank Negara, Securities Commission etc) as well as well-connected businessmen. Every time I interact with them, I come away with the feeling that I do not want Elysia (our daughter) to grow up in an environment where incompetent and dishonest people use bureaucracy, corruption and race to safeguard their own positions. I think the inequity of many policies in Malaysia cannot last and one day, many will pay the price for it. Especially non-bumis.

 

I imagine Elysia 10-15 years from now, having to make the decision to leave the country. We can make that decision easier for her by moving now. Theresa and I will bite the bullet now, we will be the ones to make the sacrifices now instead of postponing it so that Elysia becomes the one who has to make the move and adjustments. Furthermore, what if 15 years from now, it is no longer possible for her to leave? The risk would be quite high also. While we have the opportunity to leave now, when things are well, we should leave. That is my opinion anyway. Many would disagree, obviously. If we waited until there are obvious and pressing reasons to leave, often that would mean we would not have the luxury to plan carefully and well. Do we wait until there are such obvious and pressing signs that things have deteriorated? I don’t know.

 

Maybe the signs are already there. If I recall correctly, 2-3 months ago the Ministry of Education came up with an idea that to go overseas for education, one needs approval/license/permits from them. What is to stop them from imposing a quota and prohibitive fees for such approvals and permits as well? First they imposed quota on public universities. So non-bumis go to private colleges. Then they impose quotas there as well. Also, private colleges become expensive. That leaves overseas education as a relatively unregulated and therefore open channel for non-bumi parents. Now there are talks to put a fence around that as well. I’m frightened, to tell you the truth. I’m frightened that some day, even overseas education becomes an impossibly difficult option.

 

I’m also so frightened that I imagine one day the government would say even passports would have quotas. This is to encourage bumiputra participation in overseas travel, they could say. So, non-bumis can only have passports after the bumis have theirs. Do you think this is a totally impossible scenario? Not if the same type of people remain in power. I have had personal experience of dealing with such people and I do not doubt they are capable of such nonsense.

 

Even if things don’t become so bad, ie, status quo remains, what are the consequences? Our children must be either very smart or very rich. If they are very smart, they may get into local uni’s. Even then, the quality there is very poor. Now, Uni Malaya has deteriorated so bad that its graduates cannot find jobs. The quality dropped as long as 10 years ago, when I was involved in interviewing fresh graduates for recruitment. Many cant think and speak independently and intelligently. Or, they have to be very rich. We are ok because both Theresa and I had levels of income to support Elysia and she is our only child. Many wont be able to support their children for overseas education. That’s why private colleges have swelled. Are they good? Quality is unassured, at best. In any case, even if we are able to send our children overseas, what about their children? Our children must be even richer than us to be able to send their children overseas. Agreed? So each generation must be richer and smarter, just to secure something as fundamental as education. Surely this cant go on?

 

To some extent, I often look at some families around me here in Melbourne who are either clients or church friends, and feel we are doing the right thing. These are families who moved here 10-15 years ago, whose children are fully integrated into the society here and are doing fairly well. These families would have done well in their home countries too for sure, but all things being equal, they would have had to make up a lot of ground to be where they are today, had their families not moved 10-15 years ago.

 

There are other "smaller" reasons for our move. I often tell people I cant put my finger on a single reason which made us move. Like many decisions in life, this one too was made as a result of a combination of a number of reasons, none of which we can point to and say THAT was the reason. Inequality and corruption are big-ticket principles I guess. These trickles down to anecdotes which add up to give us a dossier to conclude: Let’s go. I must say it could still be a mistake. I don’t know. I cant be 100% certain we have done the right thing. That can only be determined if at all, many years from now when we look back. In the meantime, we look to our God who provides for us. God can and does take even our mistakes and turn them around to be blessings. We would seem like farsighted geniuses for making certain decisions but it would be God who is the one who made it all happen. We could have looked like complete fools for some of our decisions, and maybe we still do look like fools. Never mind. We ask God to turn even our foolishness into blessings. One thing I have learn to treasure is just to dwell in the presence of God and never mind what the world thinks.

 

We trust that in His infinite love and wisdom, we feel secure. All that we go through now is nothing in the context of His eternal love.

 

I guess the last few sentences suggest it is time to stop here. You’d be surprised how often I had to answer people who ask “Why did you leave?”. It becomes easier with each explanation. Somehow.

 

I wish you and your family all the best in your decision making process. Let us know if there are specific prayer points you’d want us to be focusing on.

 

Best regards,