A couple of weeks ago, we went across town for a personal errand type of visit. When we came back, I had a message from my brother. He said our sister, Sim, had taken a turn for the worse. Very soon thereafter, it became clear Sim was on the very final leg of her journey.
Tears flowed. Intermittently. Sometimes they trickled, At other times, they gushed.
For the last two weeks, we have been on a sort of vigil. I had been on video chats with her, and the family has had video conferencing prayers with her. Each time, I fought back the tears. There was serious risk of a breach of that sorry fort/dyke that would see more gush than trickle.
This morning, my brother messaged me again. We then talked briefly on the phone. I said to Tress it would be hours, maybe a day or two at the most, before Sim made her away ahead of us. Tears welled up inside me, and I kept busy with stuff, to stick a finger in that dyke to stem the flow, a la the little brave dutch kid. I hate tears.
Shortly before 1pm (here in Melbourne), my brother messaged me again. Sim has gone ahead of us. She had stolen a march on us, to claim that new body that we’re promised. That is so unlike her.
Sim would never steal a march on any one of us of her three siblings. She is a giver, never a taker. How the world can learn from her in that regard. But in this quest to claim that new body, she’s gone one up on us.
I wasn’t able to keep playing the role of that brave little dutch boy. The dyke was breached, and the tears flowed. I cried. I wept. I loved her. I had prayed for a miracle. I had said to colleagues in passing, that like ScoMo, I too believed in miracles. I asked for one for Sim. Because, if anyone deserved a miracle, Sim did.
I don’t know which of my three other siblings is the best person (I know I’d come last in that race) My brother is a terrific person, and Mei my other sister is a gem too. But I’d give Sim the shortest odd. Actually she’d win that one hands down. Tress certainly thinks so. Sim, you’re the best person among the four of us. You’re also up there as one of the best persons I know. Like I said, you’re a giver.
Sim, you seemed to have always said the right things. A lot. It always sounded good when you say it. You say good things about others all the time. And, I think it sounds so good all the time because it always sounded like you meant it. You’re so kind, and generous that way.
Sim, I never told you this but I wished I was more like you. That’s so hard because you’re way up there as one of the best persons I had ever known.
Those tears. They’re flowing again now. They’re like the rain in Melbourne not too long ago. That rain didn’t stop for a while. The tears, like them rain, made things feel dark and cold and hopeless. Those tears. They keep coming. It doesn’t help that I cannot be on my way to be there for your final terrestrial journey. Damned virus.
Sim, you stole a march on us. But our Lord said we’d catch up. I hope by the time I do, I’d be as good a person as you have been. I love you my little sister. Goodbye for now.