The Group CEO of my employer leaves in less than a month. Notice of his resignation was disseminated early last week but in retrospect I should have seen it coming a lot earlier. The Malaysian colleague who is an EA to the executive leadership team, said to me she’d known for a while, when I asked if she knew. She is a lot closer to that space and is constantly asked to access and work on related documents so her knowing is par for the course. The CEO’s demeanor, his toing and froing in recent months, his at times almost carefree air about him, should all have been telltale signs.
That the CEO himself – the Group CEO at that – has headed to the exit door pretty much speaks of the organization I have been part of in the past 19-20 months. I must have known and said goodbye to up to 3 dozen middle to senior executives, and probably a dozen or so technicians and managers. It surely is God’s providence I still peck away on my keyboard and warm chairs in meeting rooms. There but the grace of God go I.
I’m keeping my head down and churn out as many docs, advices, meeting notes, emails, etc. as I need to. I want to just turn up to work, do my work, and go home and be with Tress and the Little Jedi. But with the in’s and out’s whirring around me, I can’t help but lift my head – in increasing regularity – to take in the state of affairs and assess my own.
Outside of work I continue to wonder what is my due, my role, in His service. Maybe given the state of my walk with Him all I can expect is to keep my head down, do my regular work here in South Melbourne each day and keep company – “be in fellowship” – with the rest of His family, my family, on weekends particularly on Sunday at St Alf’s. I don’t know what brings about that state, or the belief that I am in that state. That state – the state of inertia. Maybe it’s the crash bang experience of my time with the previous community that is causing me to “wait on Him” and merely that. I remain in a state of waiting. I seek Him, pray daily for His to show me and simply wait for circumstances to present themselves. That has been going on for more than what, 3 years now? But I read of waits far longer than that.
I don’t know – maybe that is my lot in life. Maybe my due, my role, is simply do whatever I can in my current situation – mainly around my work.
The risk of continuing in a state of wait is my sporadic distraction which can, and did, result in sticky beaks into the pleasures of life. Seeking out food to savor, wines to buy, cars to ride in, places to visit – these are all perfectly legitimate pursuits for pleasure and I don’t think any of those have been elevated beyond mere fun stuff. Certainly I don’t think any one of them is anywhere near idolatrous and yet I wondered if I should have been more stoic in my wait.
For now, there is a lot to do at work, which has been a good thing as apart from the fact that the days go by so much quicker, I am left with little time or energy to think about the stoic wait that is required for now.
The Group CEO hails from a famous blue blood name in the business community of Melbourne, so busy as he has been at work, I’m not sure his calling is too far out of the business circles. Mine I’m not so sure.