Ten years ago today, in the course of the day, my late father walked the face of earth one last time. Sometime between 29 and 30 November 2006, he passed on. For the past few days, I had been a little moody, a little unsettled. On numerous occasions, I wondered if he knew it was coming.
Ten years hence, he has a new grandson. Yu Jie is the new addition, born in 2008 (I think). Everyone else probably had their own recollection of that day. Mine was – and remains – one of immense regret.
Regret that I had not spoken to him for a long time, when he passed on. We had moved to Australia a little over 2 years then. I hadn’t spoken to him since we left Malaysia.
I wish we talked more – I had wanted to let him know why we moved, how I felt about leaving the town, the country, of my birth. How I felt about leaving him and mum and everyone else, to come to a city where I knew so few people. Why I left a good and very well paid job. Why I left a wonderful network of friends, relatives and business and professional connections.
I wish I could tell him now, that as painful as it was to have left him and mum, I am very happy that we did leave to come and live in Melbourne. I wish I could now invite him to visit, especially when Kiddo gets married next year, and moves into the next phase of her life with Mic.
I wish he could see now, how safe, engaged and settled we are in our new “town”, new country, new home.
I wish he could see that just as grandfather left China all those years ago and became settled with his family in Klang, I left Klang all those years ago and have become settled here in Melbourne.
Tress and I have been able to provide Kiddo with a new platform to make her own path in life, without the baggage of what plagues Malaysia today.
I wish he could see that I am happy. I wish he could see that I am happy because I believe Kiddo is and will be happy. I wish he too would be happy.