Some time last week the CMA Connect alert I have been subscribing to for years, caught my eye for just a brief moment. I emailed the contact and had a chat with the person running the place. It turned out to be a role of up to 10 hours per week. He asked me to think about it and I said I would and would revert over the weekend. I emailed him over the weekend saying I wasn’t keen as I’m looking for something more substantial than 10 hours a week. I probably need easily 30 hours – ie closer to 4 days a week as I would otherwise be bored.
Stanley rang earlier this morning and asked me to continue thinking about it, saying he felt I was suited for the role. I told him my concerns – about a role which had 1.5 days work – and at the end of our conversation he said he could extend the role to fill up to 3.5 days. I said I’d think about it.
In reality I want to work in Melbourne to be with Tress and it didn’t matter what work that involves. That’s sort of what I’d been praying about. Alternatively if somehow my current Canberra role becomes a permanent one very quickly, I’d have assurance of an option for Tress to relocate to Canberra on a permanent basis. I just can’t see how I’d be happy for the days ahead, if I simply continue being here by myself. I can only be at ease/peace if I know the next 6-7 months would not be just a sentence of some sort, being “released” – free to be with Tress again at the end of the sentence – but would instead be a prelude to some permanent option which can include Tress being part of it all.
Having said that I’ve always been keen on a role in a ministry sort of capacity. Steer didn’t end well for a host of reasons. Kiddo coming to Canberra, the whole chapter surrounding Lifegate at that time, etc. It wasn’t a bad experience but it wasn’t what I’d look back with fondness or pride. I want to avoid such a misstep again. I’m not convinced at this stage, that I can do this – ie avoid such a misstep – at this point in time. There is still so much which hasn’t landed – ie still up in the air – I’m just not able to see clearly yet what lies ahead.
Waiting? Yes, still.