Foggy Canberra

It has been an unusual week so far.

Some time between 7am and 8am on Monday, I must have entered a space (or exited from the here and now) which caused me to “lose time”. I could not recall what happened. I had no recollection of doing the things I usually did at that time. I could not remember having my breakfast smoothie, my coffee or getting ready to come in to work. All I recalled was speaking to Kiddo about not being “all there”. I could not recall why I didn’t have the scarf on me while I parked my bike, which of the 2 walking shoes I normally use I had on when I hopped on my bike – till it was time to head home at the end of the day and what I had packed for lunch, till it was time for lunch. I could not recall preparing the bread to go with the soup.

It has gotten a bit better now, and I am more “here” but it was that momentary (albeit prolonged) amnesic episode which continues to leave a hazy trail.

So last night I decided to leave the apartment and go out a little. I had spoken to a colleague who said there was an Aldi in the Jamison Centre between our Turner home and Belconnen. I drove there, walked around that place and decided that it would be a “last minute grocery” place I could go to. The Coles is large and the Aldi is well stocked. I came back feeling maybe a touch more “here” but the haze, while clearing, hovers still.

I’m glad winter is nearing an end. I have been in Canberra for just over 3 months now, and would be spending the whole of this winter in this very cold city of Australia. It is not a city which I’d find difficult to like but with no clarity of what lies ahead, I have no laid down roots with as must gusto as when we first settled in Melbourne. Reticence to lower the tent pegs more permanently in church and building friendships here, as well as the frequent trips back to Melbourne are symptoms of that overall fog I guess.

Waiting on the Lord gets like that, probably. He knows where I’m heading, even if I don’t. In that sense, the “early signs of Alzheimer’s” is less worrying.