From: Teh, Ian
Sent: Thursday, 4 April 2013 8:09 AM
To: [ ] ([ ]@yahoo.com)
Subject: Thanks – appreciate the contact

Hi [ ]

Thank you for your call last night, I appreciate that. Please be assured what has happened in recent months had nothing to do with you. You (and [ ]) are someone I knew from Malaysia so I guess that makes us old friends. Nothing has changed on that front.

Returniing to lifegate is out of the question for me. I cant be in a church where I am restrained from serving. As long as I don’t understand Tham Fuan’s statement that I only acknowledge the church leadership when it suited me, I can never serve freely. That statement means I am not to be trusted, that I am a fake. How can I remain in a church where the pastor accused me of that?

Tham Fuan has “apologised”  – it may sound ironic but that is taking the easy way out. What I needed wasn’t an apology, but understanding. One needs to spend time talking through things like that. Not a quickly blurted apology. I have said that to him before. But that is ok now because I no longer expect anything from him. He has shown nothing to suggest he is capable of, or wishes to, talk through that. I also no longer want to listen to him. No one should be expected to wait indefinitely – if the months following the event didn’t see any interest on his part, I should “cut my losses” and leave an organisation headed by someone like him. He has been that way from day one – uncommunicative and unresponsive. When it comes to personal relationships, being uncommunicative and unresponsive is a guarantee for failure.

Theresa and I continue to look for a church to call home. That has been very difficult for the reasons I said to you last night. But at least there is rationale for hope. Staying in lifegate does not provide that, as long as Tham Fuan carries on in the same way. There is nothing to suggest he won’t.

Thanks again [ ].

 Ian

I was told there was to be another one of those powwows’ last night. Also, missing the congregational life especially over the Easter weekend, made me think again about where to go this weekend. Tress suggested we should go to Edge again. We’ve not been there for what… 4 weeks now? These two events made me go on an early start this week, in looking for a church.

My quest for a new home continues. I have to say it has started to affect me in my walk with the Lord. Proceeding in this journey alone, has never been something I believe in. Yet, looking for a community to make the pilgrim has become a bit of a pain. I am starting to think maybe it is easier to just give up for a while – go do what many (most?) Aussies do on weekends and skip this church thing.

I’m inclined to say “thanks, Tham Fuan” one more time before ending this quest for now. I know this is down to my choosing from this point on. He has driven me out of my home, but he hasn’t caused – not directly anyway – this tiredness and frustration in looking for a new home. I no longer know what to look for and how to keep going.