Day: February 10, 2013

Minds, then hearts – or hearts then minds?


I think some of us do stuff our minds tell us to, when our hearts say otherwise. For others, it’s the reverse. We do what our hearts tell us to, when our minds tell us differently. Sometimes a person listens to the mind for some things or at some time, and acts emotionally or intuitively for other things or at other times.

I guess no one acts entirely out of intellect at all times and I  hope few act entirely emotionally or intuitively all the time.

I’m afraid I tend to act according to my thoughts. more than my feelings. I dont know if that means I am often harder to live with and maybe that’s what makes me a person who is happier with a book and a good CD (or iPod tune) somewhere in a corner of a room, than in the middle of a room full of people making merry. When I want company, I also prefer a small group with good conversations, to a large one with small talk for the most part.

We were at a couple of Chinese New Year parties over the weekend. Yesterday arvo there were about 20+ people in a mate’s house and though I did strike up a few conversations with a few people, they didnt make me feel like I engaged with those people with whom I spoke, in meaningful ways. A day earlier, we had dinner with a couple of other families. There were only about half a dozen of us adults around the dining table and though the conversations were still very casual and easygoing, I felt as though I connected and engaged better with that group. Maybe there were other factors at play but food and good people aside (there were no differentiating factors between the parties), the smaller crowd made me think and engage better.

Sometimes my tendency to act on my thoughts alone, can bring unpleasant consequences.

We went into the city on Sat morning to shop at the Vic Markets. The fish and meat there are often better and cheaper and we were also getting veg and fruits so we decided to drive there instead of doing our usual thing of catching the train in. On the way back, we decided to stop at Madam Kwong’s for lunch. We pulled into  a council car park at Court Street, and were met by a couple with fluoro vests who walked up to us to say we couldnt park there unless we had permits for the Chinese New Year street party in Boax Hill.

I said we were going to be just a while and since there were only about 2-3 cars there at that time, I didnt think our presence was going to deprive anyone involved with the street party of a car park space. This was met with a categorical “no”. I got a bit annoyed so I asked for some proof of authority as this couple didnt have anything to suggest they were acting on authority of the local council or any other authority. I was to trust their word that the car park was off limits. Their fluoro vests were those you could but off your local Dimmey’s so i pretty much ignored those, which meant they had nothing to go on.

The man sort oof knew he was in a spot of trouble when I asked for proof of authority. The lady however, raised her voice and said she had papers giving her authority and when I asked to see those “papers” she said they were confidential. I said well if it was confidential she could keep it and I will just park. She then rang someone and asked me to speak to that someone on her mobile. I asked who that was and she said “my Manager”. Well she must have not understood my point. If she didnt have anything to show me she had authority, why would I speak to her Manager. That person would be a manager who didnt provide his ward with anything useful for anyone and was I going to wait while he makes his way to the car park? She must have rocks in her heads. She asked what language best suited me (must be thinking I didnt understand her unintelligible smutterings because of MY language deficiency). Iasked her what language I have been speaking to her in the past few minutes and that riled her. She started raising her voice, called me rude, etc.

I igonred her and parked, and we walked to Madam Kwong while she followed us saying she was going to call the police. I told her to go nuts and continued walking.

I was acting based on my thoughts. Problem was – by the time we got to Madam Kwong’s Tress felt she couldnt eat anymore as a result of the exchange. I wasnt upset until that moment, so I said let’s just go home. So we missed lunch and I got angry with Tress that arvo for reacting emotionally with a couple of looneys when Iwas simply reacting based on facts which had presented themselves.

Anyway, we were cool later that arvo and all was well and when we got to J’s for dinner that night we enjoyed ourselves very much.

This morning I was thinking if there was a lesson in that encounter – that maybe more could have been achieved if I acted less on my thoughts and more on my emotions. I thought about our church life and wondered that.

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